Southerly: Confessions of a Social Retard
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32.
Figures.
I've been called antisocial since I was a very small kid, and my erm interests - I mean, I'm not obsessed by the things I'm interested in, really- were family anecdotes before I hit my teens.
I am told I am good company - when I'm in a small group of people I've known for a long time...
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I got an 11 on that test. I still am not sure what that means.
And although I can easily talk to TV cameras and rooms full of people, I've hit a total brick wall with one of the social rituals of our lovely Media7 production crowd. More than once, when we've gathered for a few drinks, events turn to everyone doing a "turn". Everyone else just sings a song or something.
I talk on the radio all the time, and it is fine. Put me physically in front of a group of people and ask me to be knowledgable and engaging? Sweaty palms, shaking, nausea. Fun!
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Introducing people in formal settings can be a trial. I still squirm when I recall how I introduced the guest spreaker at a conference as The Honorary Steve Maharey instead of The Honourable... What made it worse was that he had to go and correct me!
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I know this sort of thing is supposed to break down barriers and encourage fresh ideas and stuff. It just makes me hate my life, is all.
Even reading the words 'organised expressive roleplay' sends a cold shiver down my spine.
I scored a 15 on that test. I am surprised it wasn't lower, but I think my essential wishy-washiness means I had way too many 'slightly dis/agree' answers.
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Wonderful post, David. And hilarious comments and stories from everybody, you've really made me day. I'm a 13 on the scale. My problem tends to be switching off the extroversion, not switching it on. :-)
When I think of conversational failure, I think of that wonderful Berlitz ad:
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Also, am I a complete idiot or has the link to this test you're all taking not actually been posted?
FAIL!
Thanks Russ
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I was horribly socially awkward up until I was forced by necessity to work in hospitality. You haven't experienced pure terror until you've had to wait upon a table of drunken, jovially belligerent middle management types at the Royal Oak branch of Pizza Hut for an hour.
(I was never reliable or smart enough to work out the back-they always made me wait tables.)
Now I give as good as I get, though I still prefer solitude when I'm out and about.
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Apparently, that whole 'men and women can't be friends' thing isn't just a myth invented by When Harry Met Sally, people really find it so.
While it has turned out that most of my closest friends are women, I have generally found men considerably easier to get on with in situations like uni and work. They're so much more straightforward, and they never expect me to talk about my hair.
(Preemptively: fellow women of PAS, you are all exempted from the above, not least because you, too, do not expect me to talk about my hair.)
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Even reading the words 'organised expressive roleplay' sends a cold shiver down my spine.
While 'everyone take a turn' makes me want to flee in terror, I can do "organised expressive roleplay". What I can't do, is do it without totally taking the piss.
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organised expressive roleplay exercise
Sh - Sh - Sh - iver......
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I'm a 9 but knew I'd be something like that before I took the test. I'm good at socialising. Everyone knows that. I make sure I tell people all the time.
So many people seem to know me,
Ditto. I regard this as a really unfair advantage on other people's part.
Of course, being the Empress of the Internet, I should expect it, but occasionally I'm still thrown when people who really should know better have clearly been reading my journal or tweets and ask me about things that make them blush.
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On a completely different topic from this fascinating discussion: any opinions of Inception? I had high hopes for it but walked out half-way through--couldn't stand the overly-expository dialogue ("We are going to do this---and then we are going to do that...and hope it all works..") as well as the gratuitous car smashes and gunfire.
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Ditto. I regard this as a really unfair advantage on other people's part.
If I'm explaining to someone who Russell Brown is (normally in relation to Media 7 I guess), it's "guy that I kinda know, does a TV show and web site".
Which you'll stay until I meet you in person when I'll think of something to upgrade you to (the "kinda" might get cut).
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21 on the test. I'd probably have marked myself higher, but I got really annoyed while reading the question about remembering phone numbers (I work in telecommunications, of course I remember phone numbers easily!) and then I had to go back up the thread and see whether anyone had mentioned that the test's creator, Simon Baron-Cohen, is Sasha's brother.
I don't know quite what that said about me, but I think it's worth a couple of bonus points.
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re John Peel - you didn't try and hug an English ex-public schoolboy? Without them having dropped at least two 'e's?
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I had high hopes for it but walked out half-way through
In all honesty, you missed the pay off that would have made the exposition worthwhile. I saw it for the second time the other day, and the person I saw it with said that it probably would have worked better as a book because you could avoid the exposition in the first place, whereas you have the time pressure of film to contend with.
Overall I felt that the hype was justified to a degree. It's a fantastically interesting film, though not perfect, and apart from the slight slowdown in the midway point, it's perfectly crafted-not too long spent in any one setting (which must have been a real temtation for Christopher Nolan.)
I also felt like the story of Cobb and Mal was much more delicately handled than I've come to expect from blockbusters.
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I was once at an air-show where an F18 did a 1000 km/h flyby at 30 metres altitude.
That's the only thing I've ever seen move as quickly as Russell did when leaving that organised expressive roleplay exercise.
It was phenomenal.
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OK, maybe I should give another go but 2.5 hours was too damn long. I wanted to come away with a better opinion of the current state of Hollywood film but I didn't--my attitude probably hardened when I passed by publicity for the next 3-D extravangaza--a bloody film about talking dogs! Maybe the Scott Pilgrim movie will change things.
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I was once at an air-show where an F18 did a 1000 km/h flyby at 30 metres altitude.
Unless it was over the water, I hope you don't engineer aircraft!
=)
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I scored a 15 on that test. I am surprised it wasn't lower, but I think my essential wishy-washiness means I had way too many 'slightly dis/agree' answers.
Yeah, I find any quizes or surveys that include "agree/strongly agree" options end up telling far more about my inability to commit to an unequivocal opinion than anything else.
24, for what it's worth.
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Another blog and comment thread that makes me feel like a visitor from another planet.
Surely there's always going to be a lot of people for whom sex stands between them and intimacy with people of the opposite sex. This does not mean that everyone is like that. For people that it's not a problem, it would probably be fairer to say "it's not much of a problem". Just the fact that it's a problem for other people makes it a problem.
An old flame of mine is someone I keep in contact with probably once or twice per year. None of my friends, or her friends, can make head or tail of it. "Why would you?", I get asked. After a while, you begin to wonder if it is actually a weird thing to do. Even if it means nothing more to you than catching up with an old and dear friend, the idea that it means more to other people is off-putting.
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In other news, Bob-the-boy insists on sending you the following message (he's not shouting, he just doesn't do lower case yet).
HELLO RUSSELL FROM BOB
David, do you realise what you've done getting Bob the computer at such a young age ?
Someone showed my daughter how to use Windows Control Panel last week, I'm sitting here with a bright Pink desktop background, re-organized icons so I can't find anything and a red Dinosaur as my mouse pointer.....
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I scored a 20 on that test, which is about where I thought I’d find myself.
My worst fear is being required to make polite small-talk about nothing to people I don’t really know. In many cases I would rather jump out a window than ask someone I don’t know what they think the weather is doing or whether they think the Warriors will make the finals.
I’m sure that much of this must be down to upbringing. I have always thought the reason I am horrified of chit-chat is because in my family if you ever asked how someone was, you’d get a half-hour recital of woes that would make Angela’s Ashes seem like a romantic comedy. I guess that’s what you get growing up around depressed people! So it was always better not to enquire, for the sake of one’s sanity.
I don’t find alcohol to be very useful as a social lubricant, because if consumed in excess I can become a bore. My more or less permanent state of sleep deprivation (thanks to 2 small kids) means even a small amount of booze can be dangerous.
All this is why I find the internet a truly wonderful place. Except when I make a complete arse of myself and it’s too late to delete my comment.
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On the role play thing (I'd have given Russell a run for his money out of the room, I think!) I often reflect on the destructiveness of taking the piss out of the whole thing rather as John Clarke did in a episode of The Games (can't find a clip to link to). It was brilliant stuff, centred around blurring the distinction between those in-role and those out (usually the controller, giving instructions).
Then again, having the courage the do such wrecking (with all the attention it would surely get you, once you think about it) introduces yet another level of terror.
Which leads me to the thought that over-analysing what might happen if I say this, then they say that, then....can sometimes be the root of the problem with social situations. Perhaps the alcohol works by taking away the need (or ability) to analyse?
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More than once, when we've gathered for a few drinks, events turn to everyone doing a "turn". Everyone else just sings a song or something.
I'd commit suicide if I ever found myself in that situation.
Yet ordinary people can do it. Mind you, ordinary people seem to be able grasp Facebook ...
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