Posts by Emma Hart

  • Up Front: R.O.A.R., in reply to mark taslov,

    Thanks, Mark. I had heard quite a lot about Stewart, but only in a private group, so I didn't really want to mention it. He has another piece up on Stuff today, making the same non-sensical division between "feminists" and "trans activists". The same quote from one of the admins of our group, Sharyn Forsyth, is used as he was given last time: they didn't come to us for comment. The article talks about harassment of TERFs, but not the tactics they have used - stealing the names and photos of women of colour to set up sock-puppet accounts, setting up a Change.org petition under the name of Feminist Mothers Aotearoa because that group (which I belong to, and of which one of the founders is a trans woman) have opposed them, and have been ripping down those horrible stickers around Wellington...

    Thing is, Renee Gerlich is rather like Lauren Southern: she thrives on the publicity public opposition brings, so what do we do?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: R.O.A.R., in reply to SHG,

    huh? what does that even mean?

    It's a reference to an older column.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: R.O.A.R., in reply to BenWilson,

    I don't think any long time regular can fail to notice the lengthy absence of prominent female voices in PAS. Is due to change in the world, or is it a long run inevitability for any cohort of people that the women eventually drop out due to sheer exhaustion from dealing with the imbalance Emma speaks of?

    I can't speak for "women", but I can say what's happened to me. In part it's time; this year I have started retraining as a medical transcriptionist. I am also doing transcription work for a journalist again, and between those and my kids and my new-ish relationship, the last couple of months have just been... there is no time. I wrote this on Thursday evening because my normal role-playing session fell through.

    Also, I feel like... I've been writing here for ten years. I've said everything. Either things have changed - the dominant voice of NZ feminism has hugely changed, for instance - or they've remained the same, and what more can I add?

    And there is the exhaustion, there absolutely is. When you have skin in the game, it drains a lot more energy than if it's all just intellectual. This Trumpian post-truth, lying has no consequences age has just completely sucked out my will to engage.

    We don't have quite such a groundswell of visceral outrage for homegrown transphobia, though. It must be galling to hear one form of bigotry eloquently and violently opposed by people who then turn around and display another towards you. People you thought were sympathetic, turn out to make an exception for you.

    I think these people - I haven't used the term "TERF" because TERFS search for it to find people to attack, but they're TERFs - are absolutely taking deliberate advantage of the fact that they're women, and largely lesbians, to deflect or silence criticism of their views. But lesbians, particularly white middle-clase lesbians, have huge privilege over transwomen, and I recognise the dynamic because they also have and exercise privilege over bi women.

    Also they almost never talk about trans men. My younger son socially transitioned about a year ago. He desperately wants top surgery, not so much because of dysphoria but to lessen his chances of being outed. For safety. I have zero time for anyone who, for whatever reasons, doesn't accept him as his affirmed gender.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: A Word About Safety, in reply to TracyMac,

    On another note, would you consider using the terms top/bottom as more generic terms for the parties in a kink scenario? All doms are tops, but not all tops are doms (ahem).

    So terminology is always problematic, but there are really two main reasons I've made the choices I have. One, I know just as many people who are uncomfortable with being called Tops or bottoms as Doms or subs, and two, I think the latter terminology is more familiar to vanilla people, which is the audience I'm writing for.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: A Word About Safety,

    I am intrigued (to the point where I am currently wading through someone's PhD comparing rape trials in Britain and the Netherlands) by the idea of switching from adversarial to inquisitorial trials.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: A Word About Safety, in reply to Dylan Reeve,

    The jury instructions at the end of this were that it was not rape if an ordinary person in the same situation would reasonably believe they had consent.

    Everything else aside, I am so bummed that the question still apparently being asked is "Did she refuse consent?" not "Did he get consent?" But then I also thought "my partner is vomiting" was an obvious sign that something was very wrong, so...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Real Victims, Here, in reply to Bart Janssen,

    What must their parents feel like when they discover that they've raised such an evil person?

    I've seen a couple of dads on Twitter really worried about how to stop their kids getting sucked into this headspace. I've seen people talk about monitoring their teenagers' internet usage, and fuck knows I don't know more than anyone else, but I think this is too late.

    Drench your sons from the earliest age in stories where female characters aren't in relationships, aren't pursuing relationships, are just Doing Stuff like people. Model treating women with respect, asking their opinions, listening when they speak. Share the care-giving. Say things to your sons like "Well okay, but Mum can't do that for you right now because she has to work/go drink wine in the bath."

    What must their parents feel like when they discover that they've raised such an evil person?

    This occurred to me just after I hit 'post' on that comment.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Real Victims, Here,

    Attachment

    Also. This came up on my Twitter feed this morning but didn't really fit into the post. How did these guys get this way? I guess we'll never know. (Image from the Daily Mail.)

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: The Real Victims, Here, in reply to Moz,

    I'm not a huge fan of watchlists and stuff as a rule, but when someone chooses to label themselves as needing that sort of attention, bring it on.

    These guys. Kicked off reddit - reddit - for being too awful. But given they advocate, and sometimes carry out - extreme violence, if half the members of their forums are law enforcement personnel... I'm kind of okay with that.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

  • Up Front: Why a Woman is Like a Bicycle,

    I have also been told off for "speaking for all women". By men.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4634 posts Report Reply

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