Cracker by Damian Christie

Of you're a SciFi fan and in Melbourne make sure you visit Minotaur http://www.minotaur.com.au/

I guess the Yarra Valley is too far out of Melbourne to travel? If not the fresh cheeses at the Yarra Valley Dairy are to die for.

Some good plonk round there too...

No, they do great day wine tours out to the Yarra Valley from Melbourne .. my partner and I went on one of the little minvan tours cos neither of us wanted to drive and both wanted to drink. Great fun.

Chocolate Bhudda in Federation Square for very tasty Japanese food, very good for lunch.

The Old Melbourne Jail is well worth a visit (I was too scared to try the night tour - daytime is spooky enough), but if you want to see Ned Kelly stuff walk a block to the State Library of Victoria and wend your way up to the Dome Galleries (on entering the Library head straight through to the lifts, go up to level 4, walk around the gallery and then take the stairs up to level 5. The exhibition is on the right). Its bizzarely complicated to get to but well worth the effort as they have one of his actual suits of armour (as opposed to the fibreglass replica at the Jail) and fascinating photographs of the capture of the Kelly Gang. I didn't realise the whole thing had been photographed (the siege at Jones' Inn, fire etc, including some gruesome results).
The best thing about Melbourne though has to be the public transport. Fantastic.

My tips from a recent visit:

1. The Queen Vic markets are well worth a visit - we went on a Sunday afternoon and it was very busy, and a great and interesting array of foodstuffs.

2. Coffee or brunch in Delgrave St (a little lane between Flinders Lane and Flinders Street, near Flinders Station) is enjoyable.

3. Len Lye exhibition if it's still on - Exhibition Square

4. Avoid Docklands

I'd say go see the Dali - except that it has just finished (I managed to see it about three weeks ago and it was fab). The current Pompeii exhibition at the Melbourne museum is also meant to be very good , but it's hardly "local".
My advice is to orientate yourself (and drink) on Friday night, spend Saturday shopping and exploring the CBD. The "little lanes" are wonderful (Central Place is my favourite). Include a visit to the Queen Victoria Market during the morning. It's at the top of the CBD - an easy walk if you are based in the central city.
A Saturday night stroll along the Southbank of the Yarra (bottom of the CBD) is worth doing. Don't miss the Crown Casino's spectacular contribution to global warming and energy wastage with a display of huge gas fireballs which explode out from a series of monoliths dotted along Southbank (on the hour after about 9pm – weather permitting). Touristy as hell, but so what...
Leave any museums for the Sunday when most of the shops are closed. Though the Yarra Valley is lovely, I don't think a 48 hour visit will leave you enough time to get out there and do it justice (especially if you want to avoid any risk of missing a Sunday evening flight).
If you want a quick overview beyond the CBD, buy a Zone 1 train card (only $6.80 for the day) and travel out from Flinders Street Station (the main central railway station) to the end of a Zone 1 rail line, have a coffee somewhere and come back in. The Alamein Line offers a nice mix of industry, working-class Victorian housing, and leafy middle-class suburbia. The shopping at Camberwell (along that line) is quite good, but even better is Prahan / Chappel Street.

Yes, absolutely avoid Docklands. The day we went the shops were empty, the 'fun' park was closed and the wind was blowing a howling gale down the mall. Miserable.

For outlet shopping in the city the DFO on Spencer Street is well worth a visit.

Surely there's a so-tacky-it's-funny underbelly tour there somewhere ....

For a weekend I'd do a walking tour of Street art in the CBD http://www.melbournestreettours.com Lunch at Chocolate Bhudda in Fed Square (great people watching), visit Ian Potter Gallery, wander Southbank, try getting in to Hellenic Republic for dinner or Bar Lourinha http://www.barlourinha.com.au (tapas) both are very popular and good.

Sunday morning head for South Melbourne, breakfast to St Ali http://www.stali.com.au, best coffee in Melbourne (don't tell anyone it's already getting too busy). Check out South Melbourne market as an example of working market. Cross the city and try Gertrude St (the Smith St end) edgy fashion (as is nearby Brunswick St) and more food and wine Epicure and Lladro there are across the street so if one is busy the other normally has a spot.

Head up to http://northcotesocialclub.com to see what's on or maybe the http://www.thehifi.com.au/ if you want to be close to the CBD.

What I don't get about the Twitrip is that, well, you don't use Twitter. You grandly and deliberately stopped using it back in April and deleted all your old posts. Then you suddenly show up with frequent demands for things to do in Melbourne.

It's feels like an old pal suddenly showing up after years absent and them asking for money.