Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Does My Mortgage Look Like a Slag in This?

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  • Jo S,

    "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

    The picture I always get in my brain from this is a bunch of rich-looking dudes in togas standing around the statue shaking their heads and going "Oz, Oz, Oz. What _were_ you thinking"

    is it autumn yet? • Since May 2007 • 80 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    rich-looking dudes in togas

    With hairy legs?

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    You are all quite delightful and I am beginning to wonder if this is actually the internet.

    I blame early, and sustained exposure to many bullshit-intolerant women whose spiritual home was Cranford:

    Miss Jenkyns wore a cravat, and a little bonnet like a jockey-cap, and altogether had the appearance of a strong-minded woman; although she would have despised the modern idea of women being equal to men. Equal, indeed! she knew they were superior.

    There's really no point in arguing about it. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Oh, you asked for it Lucy.

    *shudder*

    (I'm actually quite partial to Keats et al. in small doses - likely the result of sixth-form-English indoctrination - but there's just so much of it. Going on. And on. And on.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    First time I haven't been called a hairy legged harridan for ages. ;)

    Pshaw... I'm bored by women who aren't harridans, and if anyone comes near my legs with a blade (let alone the work of Satan known as the wax strip) there will be merry heck to pay.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Jo S,

    @Sacha

    With hairy legs?

    I don't rightly know ... was it the romans or the greeks who tended to get their body hair plucked out by slaves wielding assorted tools in the baths ?

    is it autumn yet? • Since May 2007 • 80 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    Same. I'm imagining something more like the Not OK ads, that taps into male honour and loyalty.

    ALAC did do something like that.

    (Puts tin hat on. Ducks below parapet.)

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    was it the romans or the greeks who tended to get their body hair plucked out by slaves wielding assorted tools in the baths ?

    Romans. Also Egyptians. Who also wore perfume cones on their heads.

    I am so chuffed by the English Poetry Invasion in my absence.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Carol Stewart,

    'Her voice was ever soft, gentle and low, an Excellent thing in woman.'

    Pah!

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 828 posts Report Reply

  • Angus Robertson,

    Same. I'm imagining something more like the Not OK ads, that taps into male honour and loyalty.

    Honour and loyalty are not big determining factors in the target audiance. Perhaps something themed on - "Sex is more fun when she isn't comatose".

    Auckland • Since May 2007 • 984 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    James, I take it you were paid by the word. :)

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Honour and loyalty are not big determining factors in the target audiance.

    Really? Not sure who you think they are, Angus, but I'd be interested in hearing other people's thoughts about that.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I am so chuffed by the English Poetry Invasion in my absence.

    Erring on the side of caution..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Angus, not that I'm dissing your suggested angle as well.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • James Francis,

    James, I take it you were paid by the word. :)

    If only.

    St John's, Newfoundland • Since Nov 2006 • 121 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Pointing Percy at the proletariat...

    All to soon, the words of Shelley have relevance when they look in the mirror:
    "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

    my recollection is that Ozymandias was legless at the time this two foot high plinth was discovered...

    ... and while we're taking the Bysshe...
    anyone in Christchurch is welcome to come to the launch of of the next wave (3rd) of 13th Head & Phantom's poems on posters project - called "on the occasion of Janet Frame's birthday" at Al's Bar, 31 Dundas St, 5.30pm this friday, Aug 28 - free entry, plus body and brain food - see ad in Wednesday and Friday's Press.

    yrs inverse
    Stan Za
    Rhymes against humanity...

    PS: look how well Shelley's wife Mary's attempts at rebuilding the perfect man turned out...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7950 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    It was only ever a matter of time before the stanzas attracted Dalziel.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    5.30pm this friday, Aug 28

    What a suck piece of timing, I shall be in hospital.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Not sure there's ever good timing for that.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    my recollection is that Ozymandias was legless at the time this two foot high plinth was discovered...

    The bits of him that weren't in evidence, would've been legless. What was left were "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone". A dressing-table mirror placed at floor level might provide a good Ozy effect.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    You are all quite delightful and I am beginning to wonder if this is actually the internet.

    No, this can't be the internet. Everyone knows there are no women on the internet.

    And those aren't Aussies texting and crashing, they're Welsh. What should have given it away is that nothing in Australia is green, and the nearest ambulance is 4 hours away.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Trackies and quatrainers...

    Also, what club are you getting into in trackies?

    I see in our local mall - The Palms, that oasis of over-consumption - that apparently the Jumpsuit is back, and they're seemingly strip mining '70s Vogues for "New Looks" as well ...

    Does that count as an own gaul, then?

    - Nice to Getafix of Hysterix : - )

    ...when they look in the mirror

    slag | gals

    ho ho | oh oh

    ...the Da Vinci code?

    It was only ever a matter of time before the stanzas attracted Dalziel.

    ...it was all that talk of poetry dressed as prose!

    yrs like
    a Blow-fly to the long drop of culture
    Carrion regardless...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7950 posts Report Reply

  • Cecelia,

    Could someone explain to me (63) what the current feminist thinking is behind this discussion?

    I'm relief teaching at the mo and when I see my students (girls) dressed in sexy gear on mufti days I feel a frisson of concern.

    Would you like your 15 - 16 year old daughter to dress like that?

    I don't like the boy fashion of wearing their trousers half way down their backside. This is wave 2 of that fashion. Now they wear ordinary undies under their trousers, not boxers as they used to 10 years or so ago.

    Am I a prude?

    AND I haven't worn high heeled shoes for nearly 40 years - terribly uncomfortable and - I thought way back in the 70's - a sort of symbol of female oppression - men didn't "have to " wear the silly things.

    Moreover, I can't stand those plastic nails women wear. I've always thought that these sorts of fashions were a sign of female insecurity - the pressure to look pretty.

    I know you are not really talking about the above and I haven't read the Listener article but what exactly is the post-feminist/feminist stand on this?

    Hibiscus Coast • Since Apr 2008 • 559 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    Feck! I get snowed under writing lectures on Hobbes and Lockes and womanfully stay away from the intertubes for two days to get them done in amongst all my usual running around, and log back on to check my regular sites and find all this happening.

    I have nothing to add, because the first XV has it well covered, ably assisted by the ballboys, so I have just some comments.

    1. Great post.
    2. It took until p. 5 before anyone suggested that maybe it was the girleez fault for wearing clubbing clothes.
    3. Once I was hit on at church. After I got married, wearing my wedding ring. Wearing church clothes - very respectable.
    4. ALAC schmalac.
    5. For harassment to occur, the critical ingredient is the presence of a harasser.
    6. Rinse and repeat with other crime/criminal pairs eg. theft/thief, rape/rapist.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    ballboys

    Heh

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19740 posts Report Reply

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