Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: The Engagement

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    You know what? I'd really like a Wills 'n' Kate engagement coffee mug.

    Coffee? How colonial. Tea sets perchance?

    And biscuit tin lids!

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • Petra,

    Mail orders also travel via air craft. Extreme aircraft are space craft. She may be a Reptoid spy, out to sabotage the Royal Pleiadian Peacemakers with Russian puppy hounds and evil intergalactic polo ponies. It makes perfect sense.

    Rotorua • Since Mar 2007 • 317 posts Report

  • Lucy Stewart, in reply to David Hood,

    Kills or Wait

    or Wilt

    In a traditional PAS thread-merger: Kilt, obviously.

    *the one that excludes Oliver Cromwell and the Commonwealth of England, of course.

    Naturally. They were boring, and that's a capital sin when you're five. (Plus, Jean Plaidy never wrote any historical novels about them.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report

  • Carol Stewart,

    Egg cups. They are quite something.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 830 posts Report

  • Idiot Savant,

    I'm once again glad that I get all my TV over the internet, and will thus be able to avoid this bullshit.

    Now to see if I can set AdBlock to recognise any mention of royalty as an ad and block it.

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1717 posts Report

  • Ben Austin, in reply to HORansome,

    Well I certainly haven't heard her deny that she is the puppet of the Eurocrats and for something this important I would have thought she would have at least tried. Her silence is damming

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Now to see if I can set AdBlock to recognise any mention of royalty as an ad and block it.

    There's always someone who has to go too far.

    If nothing else, this storyline has already produced the headline Unemployed English Girl to Wed Soldier from Welfare Family, so clearly it's not all for nought.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Her silence is damming

    A Dutch conspiracy, then, you reckon?

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    Phil the Greek and Lizzie the Hun announce the engagement of Billy of York and Kate of Whales the.....aaghhhh.....Commoner.

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • HORansome,

    Until this very moment I had never considered the role of the Dutch in behind the scenes world politics, but now I think about it, we have Dutch Auctions, "Going Dutch" and a whole host of sinister Dutch-esque expressions that indicate just how powerful these people (if, indeed, they are people; reptilians, anyone?) are. I think this wedding might well signal the end of civilisation as we know it.

    Tāmaki Makaurau • Since Sep 2008 • 441 posts Report

  • Anonymous Author,

    Concerning the approaching celebrity tsunami, they're welcome to my fifteen minutes of fame. A little piece of me died upon realisation of how many pages/hours of media will need to be actively avoided.

    It comes from as good an authority as I'm likely to access that the following has been fountain-penned into the royal filofax:
    Engagment party – Abbey Travel Lodge Motel, Hamilton; entertainment courtesy of The Trons.
    Stag night and Hens' do tbc. (Pinnacle Club, Newton and Happy Tav, Havelock North are front runners).

    Auckland • Since Nov 2010 • 64 posts Report

  • Che Tibby, in reply to giovanni tiso,

    we need a like button on comments like that.

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2042 posts Report

  • Petra, in reply to Idiot Savant,

    Awww, don't be such a Kills Wait Kilt Wilt! Have some fun with it - go on, let your meh down.

    Rotorua • Since Mar 2007 • 317 posts Report

  • Ben Austin,

    Well I'd like to think that the little Dutch boy who saved Holland by plugging the leaky dyke is both an allegory for the Holy Roman Empire's spider like control over the Royal families of Europe and also an engagement ring

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report

  • HORansome,

    You sir, are today's hero.

    Tāmaki Makaurau • Since Sep 2008 • 441 posts Report

  • Paul Campbell,

    let's not forget dutch ovens ....

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2623 posts Report

  • Jacqui Dunn, in reply to HORansome,

    Don't forget William of Orange!

    Deepest, darkest Avondale… • Since Jul 2010 • 585 posts Report

  • Carol Stewart, in reply to Petra,

    Or as the Guardian advised its readers - you might as well enjoy it, you're paying for it.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 830 posts Report

  • Ben Austin,

    The humour has drained away as I now remember that I am a UK taxpayer and the Guardian is talking about my taxes!

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report

  • andin,

    And if not, hadn’t you better be booking that desert island?

    I prefer tropical myself. But I bet all of those are already tentatively booked for the honeymoon, just to keep the meh-dia guessing.
    But I do know of a deserted island. I shall start planning how to get there.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Is "commoner" the posh word for "chav"?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • FletcherB,

    Is “commoner” the posh word for “chav”?

    No, commoner is anyone below “royal” and then possibly “aristocrat"….. but includes many good upstanding and decent upper/middle class subjects…

    Chav is a particularly vile sub-set. They have different social-markers and styles of clothing, but are held in esteem somewhat akin to bogun or westie.

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 893 posts Report

  • Petra,

    The Reptilian Dutch appear to have been planning this for some time. Willem Drost painted Bathsheba in the 17th Century, and she looks just like Kate Middleton (if that's even her real name!) And ChocoolatePrincess on YouTube is very hurt about this union. ChocoolatePrincess - a true Pleiadian name, if there ever was one - is quite obviously the woman Wills should be marrying at our taxpaying expense. Poor sweet Willsy, he just has no clue whatsoever.

    Rotorua • Since Mar 2007 • 317 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia, in reply to Rich of Observationz,

    No – it’s a legal term for anyone who is neither the Sovereign nor a peer. So, folks, legally speaking William is every bit as much a commoner as his fiancée and his aunt Anne.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • Petra,

    Wish I were as common as they. :p

    Rotorua • Since Mar 2007 • 317 posts Report

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