Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Do real Afghans have walnuts on them?

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  • TroyHoward,

    Nothing makes me turn the telly off faster than those Noel Brockovich 'hereiam' ads.

    These ads have finally surpassed telecom in the "Let them eat shit" stakes.

    I only hope that FairGo has enough balls to rig the Worst Ad competition and give Noels the prize.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 78 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Also - is Brazil nuts?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    What's in the big A for you?

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Let us know if the taxi drivers words to you in Kabul are:
    <i>"New Zealand. Tama Iti. Tim Selwyn. Bang bang bang. You want SAM missiles?"</i>

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Charles Mabbett,

    Buy a really nice authentic Afghan rug. You'll see some real beauties.

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Or a nice authentic Afghan hound, they're pretty too.

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report

  • samuel walker,

    The Brockovich adverts are stunningly contrived, and shallow.

    and my first, first thought when seening them was......."OMG, thats gonna bite them on the ass"

    second thought "why Erin?"

    i love the idea that the same company is trying to run with two such different advertising approaches. But Bond&bonds cheeky one is the one that would work better, except it has now been severely neutered by......Erin herself.

    I for one am gonna enjoy the show!

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    And is Brockovich's favourite movie really the appallingly schmultzy 'Pay it Forward'

    This is the point at which I discovered I'd lost my weighted foam 'throwing at the telly' brick.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Mark Easterbrook,

    Afghan cookies, at the very least. Just don't carry any through Customs...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 265 posts Report

  • David Hamilton,

    Previously I thought that Noel Leeming was just one of a number of reasonably expensive appliance stores. Now I am filled with a sense of mistrust and wouldn't shop there. What were they thinking.

    Hamiltron • Since Nov 2006 • 111 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    But Bond&bonds cheeky one is the one that would work better, except it has now been severely neutered by......Erin herself.

    The Bond and Bond ad ("Government says fridges are better younger - just like women, really.") was a sexist, ageist piece of shit. What, like middle-aged women never buy major home appliances?

    I'm glad that it was pulled and Bond and Bond were made to feel ashamed.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Steve Barnes,

    Best of luck Damien. I was in Afghanistan back in '72 before the Camel poo hit the Punka it was scary even then. I would not suggest hitchhiking in those part though, that was a mistake I made. I got a lift with a couple of Afghani blokes in a rather splendid truck only to find they were only heading 100km north of Kandahar on the main road and then off to a speck in the distance across the desert "you get out now" they said with a broad grin. That was the last thing I remembered until I was picked up by a tourist bus a day later. F**k it gets cold in that desert at night.

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report

  • Damian Christie,

    Didn't realise but the Brockovich/Noel Leemings thing was discussed at throng.co.nz a wee while back.

    I don't know whether this is true at all, but this comment from the throng thread is interesting...

    Some of you may care to note Noel Leemings was gobbled up by an Aussie Private Equity Firm "Gresham Private Equity Limited" a couple of years Ago.

    Furthermore 50% of Gresham is owned by Wesfarmers. One of the largest Fossil Fuel extractors in Australia gobbling up Aussie Coal reserves and creating masses of non environmentally friendly chemicals & fertilizers each year.

    Now that's an inconvenient truth!

    Brockovich must be a real brain trust.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    But Bond&bonds cheeky one is the one that would work better, except it has now been severely neutered by......Erin herself.

    The Bond and Bond ad ("Government says fridges are better younger - just like women, really.") was a sexist, ageist piece of shit. What, like middle-aged women never buy major home appliances?

    I'm glad that it was pulled and Bond and Bond were made to feel ashamed.

    My impression was that B&B had deliberately run the ad, once, so that Brokovich could complain about it. Getting both companies free publicity and making them both look good to different sections of the public.

    Or am I getting a bit too Machievelian?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • daleaway,

    That was the conclusion formed on a number of other websites, Emma.

    Personally, we've always known them as "Noel Leeming, exit screaming" in our house and I can't say the Brockovich contribution will make any difference to that.

    She was conned.

    Since Jul 2007 • 198 posts Report

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Conned - sold out.
    Po-tay-to - po-tah-to

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report

  • kmont,

    This cracking post is getting neglected wot with all the terrorism malarkey over on the other threads.
    That bloody Brokovich woman can bite me frankly, the whole concept is rubbish.

    wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 485 posts Report

  • Lambert,

    If the movie Pay it Forward is a cornerstone of their branding strategy, maybe Noel Leeming should have got the annoying kid who starred in that. He was in The Sixth Sense as well so he could do his famous line from that movie with the cold breath/ghost thing, only instead saying "I see... great deals on a fridge/freezer".

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 27 posts Report

  • samuel walker,

    The Bond and Bond ad ("Government says fridges are better younger - just like women, really.") was a sexist, ageist piece of shit. What, like middle-aged women never buy major home appliances?

    I'm glad that it was pulled and Bond and Bond were made to feel ashamed.

    I agree, but some of the previous adverts had been just as edgy; without being quite so vile.....

    My impression was that B&B had deliberately run the ad, once, so that Brokovich could complain about it. Getting both companies free publicity and making them both look good to different sections of the public.

    that would have been a very brave move, either way the result has been that the Bond&Bond campaign has really lost its spark.....because prior to Erin it was really really cheeky, and the last few weeks have been very very lame.

    >>As a side point it is interesting to me that both brands appear to be playing with a High/Low pricing strategy. If I had any kind of influence within a company with two such simmilar retail channels i would make sure they had different approaches on that level as well.

    Two things that stood out loud and clear on my visit to the new Albany westfield on the opening day (for professional reasons only..i assure you) was how JBHIFI are really giving the Warehouse a run for their money on the DVD/CD front, and how incredibly noticably quiet the Bond&Bond there was, about 12 salesmen and zero customers.

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    JBHIFI are really giving the Warehouse a run for their money on the DVD/CD front

    JB Hifi is great. I've only been to their Queen Street shop, but I'm very impressed. Not only do they have a huge range of CDs and DVDs (and vinyl!), but they have specifically knowledgable staff, which is something the Warehouse lacks.

    But where they totally kick the Warehouse's arse is how JB's DVD shelves are sorted in strict alphabetical order. It's so easy to find what you want, whereas at the Warehouse, the alphabet seems to be a mere starting point.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    and how incredibly noticably quiet the Bond&Bond there was, about 12 salesmen and zero customers.

    At the St Lukes "Megacentre" (ie: whiteware strip mall), both B&B and Noel Leeming seem to get their arses kicked by Dick Smith, certainly on the small stuff.

    I've had discussions with a manager of Noel Leeming before after I blogged on the amazingly difficulty of getting any sensible service there. I was at pains to explain that I didn't think it was the people so much as their glacial sales and stock systems.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    I've never had more than average service from NL or B&B, which I can forgive if they can make up for it by competing on price. Which they don't.
    The sooner JB Hifi open a Hamtown store, the happier & poorer I'll be. I spent a few happy and wallet draining hours in one when I was in Melbourne a couple of years back. Filled a half a suitcase with CDs & DVDs either cheaper than or unavailable in NZ. A combination of knowledgable staff & low, low prices - what's not to like!

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report

  • David Hamilton,

    Even Dick Smith is a bit ridiculous in some cases. While shopping for network cables for work (Dick Smith was suggested to me) I found the following price comparison for a 3m cat6 patch cable:

    DSE $19.98
    www.cablesdirect.co.nz $7.20 (+$4 postage which was spread over ten of them)

    Ouch. Glad I took the time to do some research (cheaper still to buy the bits and make your own of course).

    Hamiltron • Since Nov 2006 • 111 posts Report

  • Stephen Judd,

    I browse Pricespy to see who's got the best deal, and then generally go with Ascent anyway, because I've always had such fab service from them.

    But I'll say this for DSE: not only can you order through their website, but if you want to go a store to buy, the site tells you which stores have the item. They're very convenient when you're at work and you need a replacement thingy NOW.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report

  • Sara Noble,

    I'm loosing track of all the things I'm boycotting - from Burger King right back to Ansell/Steri-tec - remember when they were going to set up a food irradiation plant in South Auckland. Oh and Fab 2. Remember the muddy lad and the pretty little girl with the bunny: "Fabulous Clean! Fabulous Soft!" respectively.

    Thank goodness we can eat South African guavas again!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2007 • 127 posts Report

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