Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Same as it Ever Was

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  • Tom Beard,

    I've never heard the term "roue" used seriously in any context other than cooking, actually.

    Sorry for the acute lack of diacriticals. It was a grave mistake.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    It is interesting how some people you meet and decide that yes it is OK to tease and/or flirt with them and it won't end in tears :).

    Emma by the way (as scary as she is) falls definitely into that category.

    And it's the (in)ability to read those nuances that makes the difference between a charming rake and a dirty old man.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    the retort 'so where do you think you came from?' doesn't work.

    I blame sex education for casting it as "when a mummy and a daddy love each other very, very much, and want to have a little baby, then...". If they put it as "when a man and a woman shag without precautions...". But I already told the only sordid story I'm game for.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    And it's the (in)ability to read those nuances that makes the difference between a charming rake and a dirty old man.

    And my inability to codify this in some kind of bullet-pointed form really disturbs me. You just know. At one point at the Great Blend I believe I left Bart, staggered out to Jackie and said, "Safe flirt. Brilliant."

    When I was being all annoyed by someone's behaviour on the trip, I asked myself if I would have been annoyed by the same behaviour from the very lovely guy I met the next morning. And I was perturbed by the answer. But of course, my own responses would have been completely different.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    the only sordid story I'm game for

    That's one of the interesting things about this thread: it's amazing we've got anything at all. There's a spectrum from "too tame to be interesting" to "Oh god, that will get me labelled/arrested/blacklisted/unemployable for life", and on a public forum with real names that last category could very well overlap with the top end of the other one. There are also other categories that could silence one, including "some people might think it's sordid, but personally I don't see anything wrong with it" and "people will just think I'm boasting". I can imagine* many scenarios that would fit into all of the last three categories.


    (*yes, "imagine")

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    And my inability to codify this in some kind of bullet-pointed form really disturbs me. You just know.

    How not to be a dirty old man 101? It's not hard. Never crack on.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    "Safe flirt. Brilliant."

    LOL

    Although there is a part of me that wanted to be dangerous .

    I should point out that I'm guessing that was after Emma had executed a drive-by-hug while Mikaere, Brent, Hannah, Nick and I were discussing the evils/benefits of GE :). Far too serious of course for a Christmas party.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4460 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Ya, it's kinda strange how the young are always bitter on the expectations that the old have of them

    Yeah... well, the vim and vigour of youth is all very nice, as far as it goes, but it palls when you've got to explain to the young buck that 1) "I'll tear you a new arsehole" should not be taken literally, and 3) approaching a blow job like your prick is a plunger and my throat is a blocked drain is not going to end well unless your bag of kinks extends to emetophila.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Although there is a part of me that wanted to be dangerous .

    Safe flirts are great. Dangerous flirts are better.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Roger,

    I have always felt very conflicted when referred to as 'safe'!

    Hamilton • Since Jun 2007 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I should point out that I'm guessing that was after Emma had executed a drive-by-hug while Mikaere, Brent, Hannah, Nick and I were discussing the evils/benefits of GE :). Far too serious of course for a Christmas party.

    I reckon, noticed you guys going on an' on an' on and thought geez whatever they are discussing over drinks must be super ser, and wondered if it was the different drinks one would consume over the silly season, but your faces gave that away and I had another sip of wine and trundled out to Jackie and co. ;)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB,

    Craig... I'm just dying to know what point 2) is? :)

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 893 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    FletcherB, Craig doesn't need to explain it unless you are a young buck who can't read between the lines.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Safe flirts are great. Dangerous flirts are better.

    As long as you are prepared for the consequence and don't expect the respondent to be always perceptive anat. Basically it's all a gamble.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    And it's the (in)ability to read those nuances that makes the difference between a charming rake and a dirty old man.

    And my inability to codify this in some kind of bullet-pointed form really disturbs me. You just know. At one point at the Great Blend I believe I left Bart, staggered out to Jackie and said, "Safe flirt. Brilliant."

    Oh, I love safe flirting, I do it all the time. And it isn't quantifiable, I don't think. You do just know these things - one of the many advantages of much sexual experience is that you know when something isn't going to lead you down the paths you used to tread so lightly, and so often. Although I do remember saying to Emma that there were a number of PAS men that if I were younger and not married, and they were not married either, I would have been jumping some bones that night.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Not flirting is a gamble too. It could be seen as a snub.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    I've run into a few people who I've never been quite sure if they were flirting or not. On reflection I think I quite enjoy the unsettling nature of their conversation.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    This is why, whenever I'm in non-family gatherings, I wear a tasteful wee selfmade badge - well, it's quite a prominent wee badge actually - that reads

    NICE ASEXUAL
    PERSON
    WELCOMES
    CONVERSATION
    ABOUT
    ANYTHING

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    Well you can converse there Ben. My gamble would be more like Jackies.Kinda Shit, he's cute, if single, you make the beeline, but being now attached, one can admire from afar, which is safe I guess. As alot of my attached friends say "nothing wrong with window shopping, just don't buy the shop.

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    Damn! Line justification just ruined the cunning spacing!

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    On reflection I think I quite enjoy the unsettling nature of their conversation.

    Sounds like you might get on with our man of mystery.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    I've run into a few people who I've never been quite sure if they were flirting or not.

    How about " I'm not sure but are you flirting with me? Which is an opening for (if the answer is yes and you are interested) "great wanna shag etc etc. or .....think of the possibilities :)

    NICE ASEXUAL
    PERSON
    WELCOMES
    CONVERSATION
    ABOUT
    ANYTHING

    Which is an opening for (if you are interested) , "great wanna..... ;)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Sounds like you might get on with our man of mystery.

    There's a considerable difference between 'unsettling' and 'tosspot'.

    Although I do remember saying to Emma that there were a number of PAS men that if I were younger and not married, and they were not married either, I would have been jumping some bones that night.

    Aheh. Aheheheheh. There was a point at the Wellington launch after-party, where I was sitting in one friend's lap, leaning all the way over backwards so another friend could light my cigarette for me, and I thought, yeah, I kind of miss this.

    I've run into a few people who I've never been quite sure if they were flirting or not.

    I've been told (by possibly the world's least reliable source) that I come across as flirting when I'm not, and because the background Flirt level is so high, when I am flirting it's off-puttingly over the top.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    "which is an opening for... "great wanna.....;)"

    and you bet Sofie, I've had that one!

    I think it helps to have some South Park decco on the badge (Kenny, Big Gay Al & Cartman's Mom)
    and the fact that I really do like conversation! About anything! Even religion (which I studied for 35 years and really profoundly disappreciate (one of my many cuzzie's phrase)) - as long as people arnt impossibly drunk or hectoring.

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The trouble with asking someone if they are flirting with you is taht you then have to figure out what you are going to do with it if the answer is "yes". Sometimes not knowing is a heap more fun.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

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