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David, that was beautiful. I feel depressed already, as no doubt do all your competitors. Surely no one can beat such a masterpiece?
4 days into a month off and I am already suffering the symptoms of "Xmas-ennui" (if it's not a psychological condition it should be.)
I think I need a hobby.
__As if I would
to tickle me.__
That's emo, not Elmo!
Jeremy, David is just trying to illustrate the twin goals of synergy and convergence with the restrictive artistic framework that is emo poetry.
NB: NOT based on a true story.
i couldn't not get in on this action tho.
Liars. And fakers.
Ungracious present takers.
Dressed up in some xmas best
To make the neighbours feel impressed
A shallow, meaningless,
How can you smile at her?
You fucked her sister!
She came back cause ‘cause,
You whined you missed her…
And now we sit smiling,
I stand beneath some mistletoe,
Alone to watch you to and fro,
Some assholes that I have to know,
A cruelty built of kindness
“my angel”, what angel?!
Next year the bitch nailed to the tree?
WILL BE ME!
who says only teens can do angst?
Here's my poem:
I'm getting a Wii for Christmas.
I have nothing to complain about.
Until you shove your hand through your ceiling fan playing Wii Sports Bowling and have to go to hospital straight after you finish the frame...
I'm not going to eat so much turkey this year. Two years running I fell asleep under the dining room table an hour after lunch. From most people that would be a bad look. From me it's half expected. Nonetheless, that stuff should be banned!
I am spending Xmas and New Year working, and to boot I am on call. Violins please. But I will console myself with writing a poem that will be a distant second to the outstanding efforts so far.
I am going away in February to Hamilton, I know, effing sad that!
OMG my life, my life
Yup who said only teenagers can do angst!
G'day from London. Weather! In the past 2 weeks I've had a Chch norwester (30 deg), 42 deg with a gusting wind in Melbourne (yip, like being in a fanbake oven), 32-40 in Perth (thank the bro's tax rebate for the new swimming pool!), 26-38 in Singapore during the monsoon (yip, like being on the inside of a washing machine on warm rinse) and I arrived in London just before the fog started keeping the arriving planes at bay ... 38 to -1 is a big change in just 14 hours! And by the way, yes, I'm having a great time, and yes, I'm now staying put for a while :-) Rich
Later guys! Have a good one y'all.
Robyn, you clearly need lessons in Emoness
never much enjpyed Christmas in NZ, especially when those "Any time, Any Place, Any Where" blitzes put more stress into racing round various family, friends etc for present delivery and socializing - and having a drink at each.
Barbados we enjoy at Christmas. The temperature has slightly dropped to the high 20s with 23 - 26 at night, so we turn the AC off and occcasionally have blankets on the bed. The nights are slightly longer than normal (there is only an hour or so difference in day lenght throughout the year in the tropics), cooler, a bit windier, and once the pre-25th traffic jams die down, we get to socialize at a more salubrious pace. And as the place is reliant on tourism there is no prospect of a blitz. They don't even have the blow-in-the-bags.
Post-Christmas parties usually involve excess of various types and the topic of conversation sometimes turns to which celebrities have hunkered down in Platinum Coast hotels, evading papparazi.
Yep, Barbabos really is paradise in that two week period following Christmas, relaxed, vibrant and sophisticated
...but it still ain't home! Merry Christmas New Zealand
here's one for you Che. We were out diving yesterday, moving my mooring that had drifted after a large tourist catamaran decided to borrow it. As we chained it up with another engine block to give added weight, just as we put the pin through the shackle to finish the job, my air ran out. My buddy had already switched to my emergency reg because he ran out a minute earlier so we're both at 35 feet with no air. We dropped the pin and chain and quickly headed for the surface (neither of us had fins on so it was a funny ascent). Thankfully we made it back for Christmas! Ain't doing that again
Spent yesterday playing petanque, tennis and Kubb on the in-laws backyard in Cambridge. Had a fabulous dinner and a few glasses of wine before opening all the pressies. YAY! My daughter got 5 books and I only got 3....................some sulking in the corner from me.
Up at 0340 to shower and jump in the car. Start work at 0600 in Auckland so better skedadle. At work now till 1230 than it's over to my sisters for Christmas dinner with a few other orphans. Due to my sister being 18 I imagine beer and chips but i'm keen to be be surprised :)
Up at 0600 on Boxing morning to jump back in the car and head down to Tairua to the bach and a few festive ales. I'll steal the kayak and the cray pot for tomorrow.
Day after Boxing it's all in the car again and just around the corner to Cook's beach where we'll set up camp for the remainder of the holiday. Cricket, beer, NY and friends.
Maybe i'll need a holiday from my holiday when I get home.
Keep safe everyone :)
Here's a post apocalyptic Christmas ditty for you then...
Twas the day after christmas night,
when whanau got drunk and started to fight,
inebriated arguements for the left and the right,
no wrist strap you see, we were in a wii plight.
stomachs were pained by turkey and ham,
inboxes straining under weight of spam,
aha! the old come round for a barbie scam,
excuse me but you can't take that on the plane ma'am.
so much to eat its now time to feel guilty
flowers pinch'd from nextdoors garden wilty (heh)
so much high end champagne had been spilt he
decided to decant the carpet, ( it's filthy )
elmo or emo I just can't decide
in between ignorance or patricide
Santa had said 'if you're good' but he lied
my mind is still narrow, but my arse has grown wide.
Its a time of year when many have plenty
and a time to recall the blessings he sent thee
I mean he could be a her (it is the 21st century)
I think thats kind of trained into me mentally
the cricket is on and its not even raining
summer is waxing, cold weather is waning
the mighty All Blacks are back into training
so get over your emo, stop bloody complaining.
Reece....<sniff, wipe away tears> that was beautiful.
Does it help to know that at least one poor techo misses his christmas holiday to help stop your inbox bursting at it's spam-seams?
re stars -
Two years ago I was on a cycling tour of the South Island. My three days on the West Coast were gloriously sunny, and I ended the first by driving my bicycle down an inviting track to find a small clearing on the side of a river with bush on either side, and a short walk down to a deserted beach. Millions of sandflies of course..
Anyways I woke up sometime in the wee hours for pressing ablutionary business. Emerging from my tent, it was quite bright, so I assumed the moon was out. Having done what I had to do, I looked up - and stood awestruck for a full minute. The light I was seeing came not from the moon but from the stars and the milky way. I have never seen that many stars. It was incredible, probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Well, I think I can say that the white chocolate & strawberry tiramisu recipe in the "National Front" issue of North & South is quite edible. Though next time, I'm lifting a trick from another tirimasu recipe and sticking grated chocolate in the cream layer as well.
My christmas began with the sound of breaking glass. You see I'd just walked out of my mums house, locking everything behind me when I patted my right pocket. My keys usually form a satisfying lump, which tells me that I have access to all the stuff I need, like my car which I would be needing the next day to drive to Auckland. Today there was nothing, and inconveniently my mum was visiting her parents in Taumaranui.
I had timed my leaving just right so I could pick up my sister, catch up with my cousins for a few minutes and make it in time for dinner with my grandma. And now I was late, with the keys in the house and no way around needing them. So I got out my trusty cricket bat and smashed the laundry window, trying not to think about the phone call I would be making later that evening. It took me five hits - first I tried surgical strikes with the handle but they just bounced off. In the end I managed the job with a reverse sweep which would have rocketed over mid off.
With only minor cuts, brandishing my keys and armed with placating explanations I took off to enjoy christmas. Little did I know that my litany of destruction was only beginning. Well ok, "litany of destruction" might be overplaying it a little, but I did manage to run over my grandmothers flower beds on the way out, and I stood on my bro in laws child fence on arrival in Auckland which tore it in half.
I put it down to stress - after a couple of days of eating delicious food, drinking delicious beer and playing with my nephews I feel a lot more relaxed. Thank God I wasn't in charge of the barbeque though...
I watched Dave Chapelles Block Party & right about the time he was doing James Brown impersonations the real James Brown was skipping off this mortal coil..... RIP Mr Brown
& FWIW no one lives in Wellington for the weather!
if we have had 3 days of sun in a row its when I wasnt here...
summer is somewhere else
Well, I think I can say that the white chocolate & strawberry tiramisu recipe in the "National Front" issue of North & South is quite edible.
I'll take your word for it. But what are you doing reading the bloody thing?
My Christmas tree was a ponderosa pine in Grand Canyon National Park, and the presents under it were deer droppings! Wished I'd noticed that BEFORE I sat down.
Christmas this year was in Dubai sandpit.
For me it was a welcome change in temperature (almost like being home) from seven years in London.
Sis in law flew out from London to enjoy a few days of sunshine and festivities.
Was pretty low key - unless you'd booked the day off it was a work day like any other. plenty of folk out going to meetings etc.
It was 'different' just not different enough to be interesting. So westerner friendly and disneyfied here.
Will be quieter towards the end of the week with Eid.
Christmas day was featured lunch on a big trestle under the rustling willow on the back lawn of the family home near Napier. Nothing much of note happened that day, nothing much happened the next either. Don't expect much to happen tomorrow.
Ohhh I know - I mowed the lawns at my parent's house today. Its a big lawn, over an acre, but I used the push mower cos it such a lovely day here in Hawke's Bay. Lawn mowing - truely is the petrol motor mower mine enemy most bedridden weekend days in Auckland suburbia - is really quite fun under a floppy hat and in the sun.
I believe that another week in the country and I'll be sitting in a lloyd loom and sipping G&T's if I'm not careful.
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