Southerly: Since You Asked
72 Responses
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Very good! Where do I send the cheque?
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Hilarious! Make a good film - but lawyers might object. Pace excellent and felt compelled to read on. We do know women like Marjorie - what an anxious life she leads. (The only thing I can remember from High school was "Beware the Foolishness of Pretence" - or was that pretentiousness?)
Now who were the people in real life on which this story was based?
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JLM,
Not the Christchurch I knew, but fabulous. I didn't LOL till "Of course, who's to say that Jacqueline has always been a woman -- there's something rather masculine about her, don't you think?"
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Spooky knew a lovely Sarah Holt in chch cha when parts of Canterbury Uni was more politically aware...during the grunge years.
Defiantly saw all the major players of fine tale yesterday as I lurched through Ballantynes, attempting to get that 'first hour free' parking
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Love in the Time of Collars up...
But, but, I thought this was going to be fiction?
It's more like a cover article from Avenues ;- )
- how long have you been able to transform
into a wall-fly and haunt the leafy suburbs?David Haywood for Chch Laureate!
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Great stuff, David. No need for a disclaimer along the lines of "No elements in this story can be regarded as autobiographical'?
Christs College, eh! I have been to several conferences there and made a point of ignoring the Do Not Walk On The Grass signs. If I had a pocket-knife handy, I may well have carved something offensive on the back of the pews.
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I did not read this because it does not have enough lattes in it.
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The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."
Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?
I feel dirty now, mannered lives do that to me. -
But, but, I thought this was going to be fiction?
Quite! It's more like an exposé. :-)
"Apparently she's from Upper Hutt."
"First Sarah and Christopher decide to cancel the wedding, and now I'll have to shave all my hair off."
I love it! Thanks, David.
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I do wish you and that Hart woman would stop reading my high school diaries.
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Dairy me... Smith's Dream pt II?
I did not read this because it does not have enough lattes in it.
aah, the advent of the Latte Day Saints...
;- ) -
aah, the advent of the Latte Day Saints...
Funny!. Almost the Adventists of the Latte Day Saints. -
The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."
Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?
Yes.
as if Upper Hutt were Gomorrah or something.
But this is also how the Hutt is viewed in Wellington, yes?
Marjorie began, "Sarah, what's going on?" but then changed her question: "What on earth are you doing with that cigarette?"
Ohhhh. Seriously, you could have just accidentally run over your own mother and someone would say, "Are you smoking?!"
"That reminds me: did you ever buy that gas cooker, Dad?"
You're going to the Special Hell, Haywood, aren't you?
"Timothy and Kylinda are based in Timaru at the moment,"
Alright, yes, we have a steady supply of child-arsonists. Which are, I have to assume, not people who compulsively set fire to children.
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That gas cooker line caused An Actual Guffaw.
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Loved that story - of course. I particularly enjoyed the romantic twists and turns, and Marjorie's acknowledgement at the end that, in actual fact, things had returned to their natural order. I think I may be a wee bit like her from time to time.
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Hi all, just a quick reply while I occupy Bob with 'OK Go' music videos (proving what a bad parent I am).
Many thanks for all the comments; several of which are wittier than the story itself. I find it very stressful to make this sort of thing public, so your kindness is greatly appreciated!
Now who were the people in real life on which this story was based?
Defiantly saw all the major players of fine tale yesterday as I lurched through Ballantynes, attempting to get that 'first hour free' parking
But, but, I thought this was going to be fiction?
It's more like a cover article from AvenuesNo need for a disclaimer along the lines of "No elements in this story can be regarded as autobiographical'?
It's more like an exposé.
Ah, so you noticed! Yes, certain aspects of this piece we're, er, inspired by real people. In fact, I can reveal that there is a real Nigel and Jacqueline (very nice people; not at all like the characters in this story). Although it should be noted that all resemblance to the diaries of Megan Wegan is completely co-incidental.
Ian Dalziel wrote:
Love in the Time of Collars up...
Uncannily perceptive, as always, Ian. Yes, an earlier draft did explain that Marjorie wore her collar like that -- but I thought no-one would get it. Should've known.
andin wrote:
Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?
I feel dirty now, mannered lives do that to me.I'm afraid this passage is a direct quote from real life (from a real-life CHCH millionaire). Sad isn't it?
BenWilson wrote:
Where do I send the cheque?
Public Address prefers unmarked $20 bills in used non-sequential notes...
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Very quick update on the posts I missed while typing the above...
Danielle wrote (and Emma also noticed):
That gas cooker line caused An Actual Guffaw.
I can't tell you how pleased I am that someone got that!
And, as always, thank you Jackie Clark!
P.S. Have lots underway at the moment, but am very aware that I still owe replies on the previous Southerly thread. Expect something ASAP.
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I can't tell you how pleased I am that someone got that!
I had to do research. In my defence, I never saw the movie.
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The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."
Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?
Yes..
Look, if you are going to keep being mean about my family, the least you can do is invite me to the party.
as if Upper Hutt were Gomorrah or something.
But this is also how the Hutt is viewed in Wellington, yes?
Yes.
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Spooky knew a lovely Sarah Holt in chch
She was a Hoult, however, so perhaps we can believe there was no libellous intent on the author's part.
(Besides, I can't helping feeling that "Bennett" was the surname David was grasping for here....)
Ironically, though, the non-fictional Sarah did leave me in the lurch one night back in 1991, making off with a law student I believe it was. Her boyfriend of the time (not me) was none too pleased, tho I don't think he took to hard liquor as a result; perhaps he went for an especially long run.
I can't tell you how pleased I am that someone got that!
You regard your readership as an ignorant lot, David?
As Kyle points out, we can at least watch movies. (Howevermuch the presence of ol' Fishsticks Paltrow might tend to militate against that particular choice of data acquisition.)
Anyway, a fine story, Dr Controversy. Keep them coming.
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Public Address prefers unmarked $20 bills in used non-sequential notes...
I better buy a shuffling machine.
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I didn't relaise you had met my Chch based sisters David!
Loved
Timothy and Kylinda are based in Timaru at the moment
and the gas cooker line
Very good, I don't often drift up to Chch but when I do I never fail to be amazed by the stereotypes you see and hear
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Great work David, thoroughly enjoyed that, the most interesting element for me was Jacqueline's use of 'odious', an inspired touch. It confounded the stereotypical Upper Hutt missive beautifully.
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chris - you really obviously dont know the Christchurch outliers - we sosospecialise in rooting their words-
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Kylinda? Jesus...Now THAT truly is a Strine name if ever I heard one. No doubt she has lots of money....effluent like.
"Apparently she's from Upper Hutt."
Bastard!
"Not to mention the automatic assumption that Canterbury is superior to all other provinces,"
How can you be superior with only one eye?
Upper Hutt were Gomorrah or something.
There ya go again.
It certainly has a lot of action for 3757 words (a legit "Short Story" by the way)
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