It's de Hutt

David: Jennifer – Birds of a feather. How could I forget. I have a daughter Jennifer. She does Improv with WIT.

- It's far away. To the north.

Thats true...it certainly feels like it.

Robyn:

You can check out any time you like,…

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

as above so below
Upper rut
and
Lower rut
and
denial runs through it all

– It's far away. To the north.

– You can't imagine living there, even though all the people you know from there are very nice. And…

Blonde bobs, turned up collars, maybe chunky pearls – I thought that was a Khandallah Wadestown sort of thing that you learnt at private girls' schools.

I went to private girl's school AND had classmates from Khandallah and Wadestown AND was a disgusting girly-swot. As I remain pearl-less, bob-less and…

I was about to enthuse about Rosamond Lehmann and then realised I was mixing her up with Elizabeth von Arnim.

We've all been there.

... the bits of the Avon I'm familiar with are barely knee deep, so you might have to use poetic licence (or some strategic duckweed) to get your characters decently submerged.

The scene was at the Diamond Harbour jetty, waiting for the ferry to Lyttleton — so plenty of depth…

polo shirt? teensy alligator?

Oh, a *Lacoste*. It all becomes clear!

I shall do my best to cater to your 'literary' needs (do you prefer men or women? I had one of each before).

One of each sounds nice, although if the water's cold, it's a bit…

*One of the first four shops.

I like it – what were the other 3?
... the Weapon Shops of Isher of course...
though the Weapon Shops...

...will not interfere with the corrupt imperial monarchy of the Isher government (or in this case the Chch City Council), on…

The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock, late of Fendalton

Aertexes

'the fuck is an Aertex, seriously? (I know, I know, "to the Google with you!", but I kept reading the thread hoping I could pick it up from context, and I am at a complete loss.)

Oh, not at all (and sorry, Kyle, if it came across that way).

I'll quite happily concede that I'm ignorant about many things, the lives of poets being near the top of the list. I am however skilled at finding things out, so I guess I've got that "lifelong learning"…

* Of the police-car variety rather than the 'luring mariners to their deaths' type.

Cause bobbed hair styles or carefully coiffed back buns are all the rage/de riguer?
I dont know just asking. I just can't imagine flowing locks being anything that one would be seen in public wearing.

Darn tooting. A low bun is acceptable, but yes, the streaked blonde crisp bob is…

Megan Wegan wrote:

I asked my mum, who has lived in Canterbury her whole life, and she said she remembers it starting in the '60s, and it was known as a Merivale thing, and a "country wife comes to town" thing.

Thanks, matey! Important background information for…

it is warmer, having your collar up.

Cause bobbed hair styles or carefully coiffed back buns are all the rage/de riguer?
I dont know just asking. I just can't imagine flowing locks being anything that one would be seen in public wearing.
Hah, makes hair sound like an optional extra.

chris wrote:

It confounded the stereotypical Upper Hutt missive beautifully.

Ross Mason wrote:

Bastard!

I should perhaps mention that Jennifer is from Upper Hutt — so just a little in-joke for her there.

Raymond A Francis wrote:

I didn't realise you had met my Chch based sisters…

I asked my mum, who has lived in Canterbury her whole life, and she said she remembers it starting in the '60s, and it was known as a Merivale thing, and a "country wife…

Or would I have seen it in the rural(ish) parts of the home counties — along with green wellingtons and range rovers.

Yeah... I have a very fuzzy memory of my mother dressing as, basically, a Merivale Matron for a play, which must have been late eighties. A beige shirt…

You regard your readership as an ignorant lot, David?

Oh, not at all (and sorry, Kyle, if it came across that way). I just meant that I'd had some confused emails on this line, and wondered if I'd been too obscure. Apologies for any inadvertent offence --…

I just completely outed myself of being of the upturned collar persuasion...

Can you comment on the wider history of this phenomenon? When I first moved to Christchurch (in 1995), I remember seeing…

(My departmentstorophilia was both stoked and soothed by being allowed to participate in constructing this beauty last week, which had been lovingly saved up for since before Christmas).

Love!

Pink Aertex? Fob chain? Respect!

Pink? Pfft. Far too avant-garde. Navy blue and burgundy, I'll have you know. I can't remember…

I just completely outed myself of being of the upturned collar persuasion, didn't I. Fine! I once owned an Aertex. And chunky silver jewellery.

Pink Aertex? Fob chain? Respect!

(My departmentstorophilia was both stoked and soothed by being…

No, I…

Gas cooker. Chortle.

My carefully repressed five years in Chch is flooding back, in an insidiously unstoppable and well-mannered way, like the Avon after…

"Apparently she's from Upper Hutt."

Bastard!

"Not to mention the automatic assumption that Canterbury is superior to all other provinces,"

How can you be superior with only one eye?…

Loved

Timothy and Kylinda are based in Timaru at the moment

and the gas cooker line

Very good, I don't often drift up to Chch but when I do I never fail to be amazed by the stereotypes you…

Public Address prefers unmarked $20 bills in used non-sequential notes...

I better buy a shuffling machine.

Spooky knew a lovely Sarah Holt in chch

She was a Hoult, however, so perhaps we can believe there was no libellous intent on the author's part.

(Besides, I can't helping feeling that "Bennett" was the surname David was grasping for here....)

Ironically, though, the non-fictional Sarah did leave me…

The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."

Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?

Yes..

Look, if you are going to keep being mean about my family, the least you can do is invite me to…

I can't tell you how pleased I am that someone got that!

I had to do research. In my defence, I never saw the movie.

Danielle wrote (and Emma also noticed):

That gas cooker line caused An Actual Guffaw.

I can't tell you how pleased I am that someone got that!

And, as always, thank you Jackie Clark!

P.S. Have lots underway at…

Many thanks for all the comments; several of which are wittier than the story itself. I find it very stressful to make this sort of thing public, so…

The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."

Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?

Yes.

as if Upper Hutt were Gomorrah or something.

But this is also how the Hutt is viewed in Wellington, yes?

Marjorie…

I did not read this because it does not have enough lattes in it.

aah, the advent of the Latte Day Saints...
;- )

But, but, I thought this was going to be fiction?

Quite! It's more like an exposé. :-)

"Apparently she's from Upper Hutt."

"First Sarah and Christopher decide to cancel the wedding, and now I'll have to shave all my hair off."

I love it! Thanks, David.

The way I look at it, life's like a game of rugby. And money's the way you keep score."

Is this a common mode of thought in Chch?
I feel dirty now, mannered lives do that to me.

Christs College, eh! I have been to several conferences there and made a point of ignoring the Do Not Walk On The Grass signs. If I had a…

David Haywood for Chch Laureate!

Defiantly saw all the major players of fine tale yesterday as I lurched through Ballantynes, attempting to get that 'first hour free' parking