Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Late for What?

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  • Anne M,


    Start saving in a sleep bank now, you've got an eternity (well, that's how it seems) of broken nights ahead of you.

    Re: the names. I love it when fundamentalist Christians name their kids out of the Bible, without too much reference to what the original actually did. So in that spirit, I recommend Keturah (a concubine), Rahab (a prostitute) or Kerrenhappuch (just because she'll never have another in her class).

    I do rather like Hayden/Hadyn, so then you could have Hay Hay Haywood.

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,


    Wright, Saundra, Hay, Jennifer and Tessa Bent (2005)

    I'm assuming that you are "Hay, Jennifer" and that after "Saundra" there should be a semicolon. But does that make the last person Bent Tessa?

    Hadyn is a fantastic name :)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Emma Hart,

    "Excellent" I thought, I'll give that a go and tried my friend Dom, to see if it would work on anyone. I got pictures of houses.

    Sounds like someone has safe search on, then...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    Congrats David,

    FWIW, If I can pass on anything of my own experience, it would be to keep your back in nice flexible healthy condition, because you will soon have to get used to carrying a lot of stuff - add 'porter' to your list of job titles :)

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Can we run a competition to name your child?

    I've ended up stuck on a three little pigs reference:

    Brick Haywood.

    It's a long weekend now right? Good.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

  • anjum rahman,

    I've asked this question a couple of times, because I refuse to use a title as much as possible. It seems several data entry programs have 'title' as a required field. The person entering your information can't send the form unless they have something in that field.

    So, there's another thing programmers are to blame for

    well then, it's our solemn, honour-bound & very feminist duty to come up with a gender-neutral title. personally, i'm happy to be called "dr" though thoroughly undeserved. "prof" would do just as nicely. in fact i believe we had an interesting discussion on titles arising from a discussion about "bishop" tamaki, but most of those didn't seem to have a convenient short form.

    so there's some homework over the long weekend - a short, snappy and easily agreed upon gender-neutral title that will piss off neither males nor females. BTW does porter shorten to "pr"?

    hamilton • Since Nov 2006 • 130 posts Report

  • Anne M,

    a short, snappy and easily agreed upon gender-neutral title that will piss off neither males nor females.

    The Honorable? Hon for short.

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report

  • Anne M,

    Brick Haywood.

    My hat is off to Kyle. That's got my vote.

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report

  • David Haywood,

    a short, snappy and easily agreed upon gender-neutral title that will piss off neither males nor females

    I can answer this one: Citizen (Cz for short).

    As in Cz. Anjum Rahman


    Brick Haywood

    I'll add it to our list...

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    a short, snappy and easily agreed upon gender-neutral title that will piss off neither males nor females

    What about "Hs."? Short for Homosapien

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Leopold,

    Hoon Haywood ? (only makes sense if you live in Christchurch)

    Since Jan 2007 • 153 posts Report

  • Bruce Thorpe,

    I have always understood the logic of sleep deprivation brain- washing.
    Deprive a human adult of its normal habits of sleep, and consistently reduce the amount of sleep in every 24 hours, using arbitrarily timed outbursts of screaming and wailing.

    The torturer occasionally, and very arbitrarily rewards with positive facial expression, friendly noises and hints of some future reward and final release.

    The human is genetically wired to fixate emotionally on this personal torturer,and to provide this creature with sustenance, emotional support and every opportunity to excel over other human beings.

    The irony of it all, their turn will come.

    Hokianga • Since May 2007 • 52 posts Report

  • Bruce Thorpe,

    I had a distant great cousin named Record Reign Diamond Jubilee because he was born on the day Queen Vic hit the big date. I knew him as Uncle Rex.
    And for a whole term at fourteen, I daily eyed with enthusiasm a private school pupil named Cherry Orchard.
    And George Cross named his children Victoria and Chris.
    but these are all very historical... I would not dare repeat the atrocities committed every day by my friends and neighbours.

    Hokianga • Since May 2007 • 52 posts Report

  • Glenn Pearce,

    Surely if it's a boy it has to be Carl Robert in honour of the legend ?

    Congrats to you both, get some sleep now while you can..

    [**REPLY**: Thanks, Glenn. Yes, that has certainly been suggested! -- DH]

    Auckland • Since Feb 2007 • 504 posts Report

  • Jackie Clark,

    Congratulations to both of you, and thankyou,from those of us who are childless, for keeping our world going. Really. I am forever grateful to people for having babies - love, love, love babies. As long as they are in a good mood....

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report

  • 81stcolumn,

    Do not call your child Ysgrifennydd it means scribe in Welsh (or secretary if you live in the South).

    In one of my modestly professional roles I met and had to record the name of a bricklayer called Paul Brain.

    Leif anyone ?

    [**REPLY:** I was going to give the spelling as 'Geiriadur-Prifysgol-Cymru' which would have been slightly funnier, but I thought it would just confuse anyone who hadn't been in contact with Welsh. I should have known that I could rely on there being at least one Welsh-speaking PA reader somewhere out there -- DH]

    Nawthshaw • Since Nov 2006 • 790 posts Report

  • andrea paterson,

    I have had a great laugh at all these names. My favourite is a letter my workmate received a few months ago from her real estate company saying she had a change in agent for her house sale and her new agent was Deepa Khuntie.... gave us hours of amusement, we still quote it to newbies.

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 3 posts Report

  • Rich of Observationz,

    So, there's another thing programmers are to blame for

    Not so, they will (if doing their job properly) have been told of a business requirement and proceeded accordingly.

    Though it should be possible to code to address form letters with Dear <first name> if no salutation is specified. Or to ask customers how they would like to be addressed?

    Addessing everyone as "Citizen" or "Comrade" would make things easier.

    BTW1: What salutation should one use when mailing an unknown person (e.g. "Dear Sir or Madam" is ineffably pompous. "Hi" is a bit informal, "Dude" even more so, especially for the IRD.

    BTW2: Do you think that under John Key, the Nats will modify their mailout rules so as to no longer assume that two people living at the same address are husband and wife?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report

  • Kim Griggs,

    Years ago a newly pregnant friend was told by her father-in-law to read the death notices in The Times to get ideas for her baby's name. It works a treat - it's the names of each generation's great-grandparents that roll back into fashion.

    There is hope for Gaylene, Kaylene, and Raylene yet.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 19 posts Report

  • Anne M,

    Scottish naming traditions dictate that the first girl is named after the mother's mother and the first boy after the father's father. It worked nicely for our two, but thank heavens my parents didn't do it to me, high school would have been even worse as "Sadie"...

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report

  • Lee Wilkinson,

    Big ups David, parenthood is great, then it gets hard when they develop attitudes like we all had. You don't know me but I have been a fan of your writing and musing since the inclusion of you in Russ's list. Like to keep up on the slightly ChCh-ian things even though I'm happily ensconced in the north.

    Anyway, the Homo-sapien thing ? I caused my son untold embarrassment by listing that as his race at primary school, and then when he complained I changed it to human, still no joy, point being, it was my belief and only caused him embarrassment. It was his teachers that hassled him.

    Yes I knew Wayne King, Richard Driver and Robert and Brent Gay over the road.
    So if you give the wee bairn a simple to spell name they will love you for it when they start school.
    All the best.

    Whangarei Heads • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report

  • Anne M,

    So if you give the wee bairn a simple to spell name they will love you for it when they start school.

    And so will their teachers.

    Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report

  • Lee Wilkinson,

    Late for what? sorry, chortle, that has gotta be up there with the best one liners.

    Whangarei Heads • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report

  • 3410,

    Benson and Hedges

    I always thought, if you were that into smoking...

    Taylor and Roly.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report

  • Ben Austin,

    I'd advise picking names from great historical figures, to give your child delusions of granduer once they learn to read.

    Or perhaps go for a simple first name then add in a title for the middle names, for example:

    John Destroyer of Pirates Haywood, or Jill The Infamous Keelhauler Haywood.

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report

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