Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Another One for the Kids

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  • Joe Wylie,

    Poor Albert, growing up "out of species", unable to participate in that single mass thing that young otters do. A bit like some species of sawfly larvae.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    It's funny how when the otter pups do the single mass thing it's like "Awwwww...". But when the sawfly larvae do it, it's like "Yeck, why did they ever ban DDT?"

    Mind you, I know which one's easier to draw. And, come to think of it, Albert Sawfly Larva is a pretty catchy name...

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    But when the sawfly larvae do it, it's like "Yeck, why did they ever ban DDT".

    That's because sawfly larvae don't have faces.

    Not having a face just isn't cute.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Secrets from the world of otter sex:

    To make sure that pups are born around April 1st, in otter mothers, and many other animal mothers for that matter, the implanting of embryos is delayed. That means an otter can have sex without immediate consequences.

    And we all know where that leads. Also:

    Screeching is characteristic of otter sex. They are supposed to do it in the water.

    I only put this in because triggering someone's work WebMarshall filter on Christmas Eve with a page about otter sex would be the perfect way to round out the year.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    Screeching is characteristic of otter sex. They are supposed to do it in the water.

    Far below him, Albert could see the Princess struggling on the lake bottom -- weighed down by her heavy skates. He dived, screeching, towards her.


    Too dark, too dark. Now you've spoilt it for me.

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Kyle,

    Ahh ...made me remember the film Ring of bright water as a tear came to my eye.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 19 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Too dark, too dark. Now you've spoilt it for me.

    Oops. Screeching is also characteristic of selfless underwater otter rescues.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Otters are my favourite animals in the world. If I could have a couple in my backyard, I'd die happy.

    I say this simply to note I'll now be ignoring every comment by Russell Brown on this thread in order to keep my mind clean and happy. Santa has just added you to his 'naughty' list Brown.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Sofie Bribiesca,

    And, with that read and coffee drunk, I will glide through my last day of work until my holiday will begin(at about lunch). It's always a pleasure David. Thank you for wonderful funny writing that helped me alot this year. Merry to you and your Family :)

    here and there. • Since Nov 2007 • 6796 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    Cutest otter ever ever ever is here.

    Safe for work, although not safe for your street cred at work.

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Greg Dawson,

    might i suggest, in keeping with other authors struck sketchless, the sheep-in-a-box approach - seen here

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 294 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    The seven-year-old liked that so much he insisted on printing it out to keep. The rest of us thought it was pretty nifty too.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    The seven-year-old liked that so much he insisted on printing it out to keep. The rest of us thought it was pretty nifty too.

    I'm hoping he didn't print the comments.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    Am also gliding through the last two hours of work for 2008 - this was a delightful end to the working year. Wasn't prompted by the discussion of the finer points of children's literature in another PAS thread, by any chance? :)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    And the children loved the story that Uncle David wrote for them. But then, somebody pressed the Discuss button...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    And the children loved the story that Uncle David wrote for them. But then, somebody pressed the Discuss button...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    Comments now available in Stereo.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • Leigh Kennaway,

    Ahh ...made me remember the film Ring of Bright Water as a tear came to my eye.

    Aaahhhhh, deeply repressed memories of a school holiday matinee at the Ambassador picture theatre in Pt Chevalier.... myself and a load of other bawling children having our holiday ruined - or that day at least.

    The other film I remember seeing a number of times (with a memorable water scene) was 'McKennas Gold' - a great Western with Gregory Peck, Omar Sharif and Telly Savalas. Simpler times when we used to play Cowboys and Indians....

    sunny Pt Chevalier • Since Mar 2008 • 40 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    and Albert became Prince Albert Otter.

    Wahey! The kinky bugger. Still, a nice touch for the honeymoon.

    (Sorry Kyle)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Man, I'm glad I didn't link to the Wikipedia page, if children are reading this. I'm still recovering from the picture.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Wahey! The kinky bugger. Still, a nice touch for the honeymoon.

    (Sorry Kyle)

    I ... rofflenui'd!!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Otterly excellent story, by the way, David.

    Did you consider having the Princess skate on the frozen Thames? That could work, what with otters being river-dwellers and all. I doubt it will freeze again in our lifetime but poetic licence can and probably should make it so.

    Amy, that picture is unwholesomely cute, a perfect antidote to the one Prince Albert one.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Evan Yates,

    This Albert Otter sure is a handsome fulla! So regal and imposing!

    Albert Otter Official Portrait

    Hamiltron, Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Nov 2006 • 197 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    David, your problem is solved. If you write it, they will illustrate it.

    He is a handsome chap. Note the relatively smooth trouser fronts. Definitely a Prince Albert.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    I'm hoping he didn't print the comments.

    His father, who supervised the operation, assures me he didn't.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

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