Polity by Rob Salmond

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Polity: Father of the Bride

13 Responses

  • Scott Ferguson,

    Nice post Rob, thank you for sharing it.

    Can I enquire as to whom was your fancy employer (in a general sense), that was understanding enough to grant 6-8 hours of leave to you each day that allowed you to care for your daughter?
    Was this paid leave?

    New Zealand • Since Dec 2014 • 5 posts Report

  • DPF,

    A lovely and touching post Rob. Good reminder of what is really important.

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 78 posts Report

  • David Haywood,

    A very nice piece of writing, Rob -- thank you!

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Thanks for sharing this Rob.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Bob Mason,

    Great post, Rob. I'm sorry to say that despite thinking of myself as a 21st century man who believes in gender equality and equal pay, I probably could shoulder more of the responsibility and 'quality time' needed with my children. It's even more important when both parents work.

    Wellington, NZ • Since Mar 2016 • 2 posts Report

  • Deborah,

    Lovely post, Rob. Thank you for sharing this.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Because of the way I work – I’m semi-allergic to offices – I’ve definitely done my share of parenting. There have been many extra demands as part of being an autism parent.

    But what your Dad said applies to all of us – for us home-office workers it’s all too easy to be consumed by what you do and not break that and focus on the kid in front of you.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Rob Salmond, in reply to Scott Ferguson,

    whom was your fancy employer (in a general sense), that was understanding enough to grant 6-8 hours of leave to you each day that allowed you to care for your daughter?

    I was working at the University of Michigan in the US. I juggled my care responsibilities around my teaching duties, and juggled research work around being at the hospital to care. Sometimes when Sophie was sleeping I could do work at the hospital. Sometimes I worked in the evening after days in the ward.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2015 • 102 posts Report

  • Rob Salmond,

    Thanks all for your nice, supportive comments. Glad to know Dad's message resonates.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2015 • 102 posts Report

  • tony j ricketts,

    When the news is today about public mistrust of bloggers, please accept my thanks for this, Rob, and others like it, Russell. The best blogs make the essential links between the individual/specific and the wide world we are all part of, as well as the links between emotion and intellect.

    Kia kaha

    wellington • Since Aug 2012 • 41 posts Report

  • Tristan,

    Thanks Rob, Dad of two small ones here gotta remember to get home to them before 6 more often

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 221 posts Report

  • Don Reid,

    I really like this blog and the message it conveys. But it’s also relevant to remember how hard achieving the balance between work and parenting can be for many people. Short term contracts and the competitive environment the casualization of labour has created as meant (I guess, some would say, ironically) that fewer of us have the flexibility to manage our time to be with our kids more. Or else the stress of a near completed contract without one to replace it can be as detrimental to family life as an absent-at-work parent. I now have a great employer and am employed full time with all the benefits that brings, but prior to that I did a solid eight years on semester-to-semester contracts as an adjunct academic - and these were very tough years financially and emotionally. While I did get plenty of time with the kids, especially over summer, the pleasure of proximity was negated by the stress of poverty. Basically I think ‘people’ understand the desire one might have for a work/life balance (whether they are employers, colleagues or clients), but the ‘systems’ we have still work against this, especially for those climbing the ladder rather than at the top of it.

    Hobart, Tasmania • Since Jul 2014 • 16 posts Report

  • Paul Brislen,

    Perhaps the best outcome of having a cancer diagnosis was the realisation that I'm on borrowed time, that we all are, and that frankly I'm not going to not be there for my family unless there's a damned good reason.

    Being at the office is not that reason.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 200 posts Report

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