Island Life by David Slack

At Auckland International Airport, who do they worry about most?

Hum... you shouldn't trust those sneaky bastard Canadians. Today Margaret Atwood paperbacks, tomorrow k.d. lang spreading lesbian germs, and then those horrible vampire pensioners sucking the economic lifeblood out of little old New Zealand.

How did they get to you, Slack? :)

he has a highly vocal interest in the value of north american currencies...

c. Stories pinched by Kiwiblog

I haven't seen Letterman in ages, but did anyone else, upon seeing the title of the column, get "Know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know, know! Know your current events!" stuck in their head immediately? He still do it?

It is clear that the answer to the first question is d) as this site would make clear.

Heh, Graeme, I did.

As a spin doctor I am often asked: "how do you distinguish homage from plagiarism?"

The difference, I say, is akin to the gauge used to measure depravity. It's kinky if you use a feather duster, it's perverted if you use the whole chicken.

Letterman was too busy running Hillary messages and getting excited about Amy Adams to do a Know Your Current Events last night, but he did one a week or two ago. I laughed.

At Auckland International Airport, who do they worry about most?
(e) who stole all the clocks?

last few times I passed thru the domestic terminal it would seem that they are now too cheap for clocks - which is tough if you just got of an international flight and haven't had a chance to set your phone yet ....

Russia has just elected a new President. How do you pronounce the name of the man who will lead the country for the next five years?

You mean Dmitri Medvedev? I've not heard one radio or TV hack pronounce the man's name the same way, and if there's any Russian speakers out there who can enligten me it would help. 'Fascist douche bag Pew-tin's finger puppet' may be accurate, but is still impolite. :)

Medvedev's wikipedia entry has an audio example. I've enjoyed the nat rad man who was using an authentic-sounding level of thickness that meant he had to leave a little pause for his tongue to unwind every time he said it.

Very good, David. Particularly the last one. (And then there was Kate Sheppard and her feminazi PC social engineering ... "jury still out" - Garth George).

Very good, David. Particularly the last one.

Indeed. There could be the entire alphabet's worth of answers for it...

h. Interest-free student loans

Oh sir, sir, can I add one?

Does this come from: a) No Right Turn b) Kiwiblog c) NZ Herald?

"After years of being taken for granted, fibbed to and generally mucked about, the New Zealand electorate put its collective foot down this year. Ignoring an expensive, scare-mongering, largely business-funded campaign, it voted in MMP. And it denied any party an effective mandate in a result which is a voter's dream, a politician's nightmare ... [Politicians] were being taught respect, not for each other but for the long-suffering public."

(emphasis added, for irony overload)

Simon: I've only been blogging for 5 years, not 15.

You're saying there was a world before blogs? Can you prove that with a link?

Shakespeare had a blog, which, in the absence of a working internetz, was nailed to a tree in Stratford.

If only he'd had a comments section.

If only he'd had a comments section.

</SPOILER>
I absolutely LOVED Romeo & Juliet but FFS what's up with the ending? Both of them dead?!!!! WTF??!!

<SPOILER>
And what's with killing off the love interest in Hamlet? Didn't he know that sales would be much better if he'd let Ophelia and Hamlet get married and live happily ever after?</SPOILER>

And as for that 'identical twins' lark in "A Comedy of Errors" - how hackneyed is that!

Prithee RU nuts Debz of Adelaide, Ophelia shd float off dwnstrm. OMG Hamlet is HOT!!!! He is so the PILF!!!

Shakespeare had a blog, which, in the absence of a working internetz, was nailed to a tree in Stratford.

I immediately thought of Stratford in the 'Naki, and I was like, "Well, they do have that whole Shakespeare thing going on with the street names there..."

Oh.

I absolutely LOVED Romeo & Juliet but FFS what's up with the ending? Both of them dead?!!!! WTF??!!

Bang goes the sequel...

BTW, anyone see Hamlet 2? "He's back, and he's MAD!"

Can't remember if that was a Robyn Williams joke (he did Silvester Stallone as Hamlet once - To be ... or whut?"), or part of a silly Arnie flick.

Very good, David. Particularly the last one. (And then there was Kate Sheppard and her feminazi PC social engineering ... "jury still out" - Garth George).

Oh, yes women's suffrage was a particular stroke of genius on the party of Labour, passing the legislation twenty three years before it was established. I think we can cut Labour Lite for being a little late to the party, as it wasn't founded until 1936.

Can't remember if that was a Robyn Williams joke (he did Silvester Stallone as Hamlet once - To be ... or whut?"), or...

You may well have heard Robin Williams tell it, but that doesn't mean it was his joke ... he's notorious for stealing jokes. (Just google 'robin williams steals jokes' to see!)
Robin Williams, comedy's joke rustler