Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: In Which Damian Grouches about the Oscars

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  • matthewbuchanan,

    the skexies were like muppets, yes, but with leprosy. i can still remember 25 years later the collective "ohm" hummed by the mystics to alter the planet's vibration. awesome!

    I think it's a cardinal sin to mix up The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, only one of those had Jennifer Connelly as the heroine...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 163 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    ahhhhhh, the E, i dont think the goblin king ever quite got his hands on that Dark Crystal.

    would pay money to see the skexies "dance majic dance" though.....


    ....anyone else seen Mirrormask? hensoncorps official third part to the "dark muppet" trilogy!

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    David Slack wrote:
    I'd also tick The Departed...

    Meh... I think Scorsese is finally going to get his best director nod, out of sheer collective embarrassment on the part of the Academy. It's just a shame he's going to get it for a messy, self-indulgent remake of a superior Hong Kong thriller whose main feature of interest is Jack Nicholson reaching new lows in hammy camp that is definitely not safe for vegetarians, Jews or Muslims. It's like being poked in the eye with a highlighter while eating your own weight in sugar - once you've admired how many ways the cast can inflect the word 'fuck', and how artfully Scorsese splatters the gnawed sets with corn syrup... so what?

    Zach BAgnell wrote:
    Was not surprised to find out afterwards that it [The Children of Man] was based on a pulp sci-fi novel.

    Ahem... I suggest you pick up the novel by P.D. James (who is much better known as a mystery writer who definitely works the high-brow end of the genre) and tell me what's so 'pulpy' about it. If anything, I think it's the film that reduced a rather haunting fable about love, loss and the death of hope into a pretty banal thriller - though one whose politics are impeccable.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Grigg,

    United 93: Seriously, how the f*** do you CHAT LOUDLY through the final climatic seconds of this movie?! Some people need a tasering.

    U93's fictional German-as-a-coward sequence was appalling, especially when one considers that this poor man a) died in the crash, and b) has living relatives.

    Why the filmmakers felt some need to add this as if to appease those who cried about old Europe's Surrender Monkey ways, is beyond me. That alone ruined this film IMO.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Labyrinth was horrible. It had Muppets in FFS.

    Whereas, it's our patriotic duty to drool over anything with Wetas in it. :) I'd pick up Farscape or the aforementioned Mirrormask, and tell me the Henson Company's only contribution to Western Civ. is Big Bird and the inter-species freak-a-palooza that his Kermit and Miss Piggy.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Andrew,

    Heh, Bowie was ok, but the Kermit factor was way too high.

    Well, it is a kids movie... still not a patch on The Princess Bride though. Gotta give them credit, taking centuries of european storytelling, blending it up with some MC Escher, 80s synth pop, lashings of ham and a big chunk of Fraggle Rock and getting something that still looks OK today (just OK, timeless it ain't).

    Hamiltron - City of the F… • Since Nov 2006 • 900 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Darlington,

    I'd pick up Farscape or the aforementioned Mirrormask, and tell me the Henson Company's only contribution to Western Civ. is Big Bird...

    Fair enough but my comment was aimed at Labyrinth, not the Henson Company per se.

    Sesame Street was cool, but only the early series when Mr Hooper was still in it.

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 949 posts Report Reply

  • the E,

    O my god I'm gutted!! What a faux pas I don't know what came over me. You're right that was a cardinal sin. It was the muppets that threw me.

    As for films looking ok today... even the first LOTR looks dated now! watch it again & you'll see what i mean... how fast things change.

    Some good kiwi scoping coming up soon - old fashioned splatter in "Black Sheep" (it will be awesome), & "Eagle vs. Shark".

    Exciting times & no wetas in sight!

    Swinging over to television now, who wants to bet that "Flight of the Concordes" features prominently in the next Golden Globes??????????

    wellington • Since Jan 2007 • 42 posts Report Reply

  • merc,

    What about Count Homogenised?
    I love to count, mawhawhahwwaaa!

    Since Dec 2006 • 2471 posts Report Reply

  • matthewbuchanan,

    Exciting times & no wetas in sight!

    Weta Workshop did practical effects on Black Sheep I think.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 163 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Llewellyn,

    Robyn "I think I might have to watch that High School Musical thing to get my musical fix".

    Andrew "Yes, the redemptive power of baking... set to music. Don't do it, you'll get diabetes."

    Bro -

    Careful dissing that High School Musical thing, if they could navigate their way through PAS, you'd have a whole can of whoop-arse being opened on you by millions of irate tweenies ...... truly a phenomenon for the little people (and better songs than Dreamgirls)

    Mt Albert • Since Nov 2006 • 399 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Heh - I was paraphrasing the teenage girl who watched HSM (I saw maybe 3 minutes of it). The younger, not quite teenage cousin who brought the film however, swears by it. Neither have yet shown a desire to bake.

    Heh, Bowie was ok, but the Kermit factor was way too high.

    And am I alone in always having considered there something more than slightly indecent about the way the Gnome King leered at the young Jennifer Connelly?

    Or was I just discomfited by the beanbag he appeared to have down the front of his tights?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Careful dissing that High School Musical thing, if they could navigate their way through PAS, you'd have a whole can of whoop-arse being opened on you by millions of irate tweenies ...... truly a phenomenon for the little people (and better songs than Dreamgirls)

    Oh, God yes. Don't ask why, but I ended up being forced to watch the damn thing and it was like a very wholesome midnight screening of Rocky Horror Picture Show , where everyone else had every frame of the film burned into their DNA. I don't get it, but then again I'm not supposed to.

    And I didn't mean to dis the Weta - who are enormously talented people who contribute much to the Wellywood economy and the gaiety of nations. But I'm just rather bored with hearing variations on the line, "well, the story was crap, the acting non-existent but the effects looked great." To which my response is, if you can't make a good-looking film after being handed the GDP of a small African nation, you're either blind, incompetent or everyone is stealing. At the risk of sounding like a pretentious film snob, I like films where I've got to actively bring my imagination to the party rather than just lying back while the FX wash over you like a warm bath. And let's be honest, was Revenge of the Shit a better movie than The Empire Strikes Back because Yoda was bouncy CGI against an eye-poppingly lush virtual landscape instead of a diva-ish muppet in a puddle on a physical set?

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    A few points.

    There definitely is a correlation between women of a certain age and David Bowie's role as Goblin King. I recall my first real girlfriend telling me of, um, first discovering a certain pleasurable pasttime while watching that film.

    Muppets don't ruin a film per se. Although I'd argue the standard male point that the Ewoks were the worst thing about Return of the Jedi. (Boba Fett's appearance and demise the best...)

    Little Miss Sunshine? Full review to come, but I don't think the fact that something is heartwarming should disqualify it from being a good film. My favourite film of late, Me and You and Everyone We Know, if you want to strip it back, is essentially a rom-com. And the LMS ending is just so unexpectedly funny, that when I saw it the first time on my way back from NYC, I could see people shaking with laughter all over the plane.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Some good kiwi scoping coming up soon - old fashioned splatter in "Black Sheep" (it will be awesome), & "Eagle vs. Shark".
    Exciting times & no wetas in sight!

    I was interested in the buzz for 'The Devil Dared Me To' from non-target audiences after both Great Blends. I think it helped that people had the context of the BOTY career before we gave them a glimpse of the debut feature film, with its nod to, um, Vincent Ward and stuff. Dammit, Ant Timpson should fly me to the South By SouthWest Screening in Austin ...

    Swinging over to television now, who wants to bet that "Flight of the Concordes" features prominently in the next Golden Globes??????????

    If they just get another series they're on a winner. Worry about higher honours then.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Muriel Lockheed,

    Labyrinth was horrible. It had Muppets in FFS.

    You are joking? Del Toro's Labyrinth is a masterpiece. A wonderfully dark adult fairytale, that is layered in metaphor and message. It is such an intelligent piece of cinema beautifully directed. Incredibly imaginative, bleak and brutal but ultimately filled with warmth and deeply moving.


    I like Children of Men, but IMHO Babel is pompous twaddle. Three movies set in the past, present and future directed by Mexican colleagues and friends. Cool idea.

    Wellywood • Since Nov 2006 • 44 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    You are joking? Del Toro's Labyrinth is a masterpiece


    you remind me of the babe........

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Darlington,

    You are joking?

    Moi?

    Del Toro's Labyrinth is a masterpiece. A wonderfully dark adult fairytale

    Heh, brutal. C'mon it's kiddie crap and it's aged really badly. Even Jennifer Connelly is too young to be hot.

    Ahh, too young to be hot, now there's a subject...

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 949 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Peter:

    I think you and Muriel have got your wires crossed: I warmly recommend catching Pan's Labryinth, but it's not a DVD to show the kiddies unless you want 'em running around with knives, playing Fascist Torturer while chanting in Spanish "you're not the first pig I've gutted, motherfucker." (I would take too long to explain - just see the damn film.)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Darlington,

    I think you and Muriel have got your wires crossed

    Craig, say it ain't so! I was just delivering a completely self indulgent and probably redundant whoosh!

    I realised Muriel was referring to Pan's...

    Which I haven't seen but it sounds like I would enjoy. Doesn't sound like I'll find it in any of the local Nelson DVD stores though!

    Nelson • Since Nov 2006 • 949 posts Report Reply

  • Muriel Lockheed,

    No wires crossed here, I just wrote my post badly (was still high after the cricket!!) but I was referring to Pan's Labyrinth. And yes, Peter see it, have I mentioned I think it is great!

    Wellywood • Since Nov 2006 • 44 posts Report Reply

  • rodgerd,

    [Labyrinth]

    C'mon it's kiddie crap and it's aged really badly

    Funny, last time I watched it I was surprised how well it had aged - way better than the Dark Crystal.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 512 posts Report Reply

  • Span .,

    I concur with rodgerd above, Labyrinth has come through the years more kindly than The Dark Crystal which seemed much much longer than I remembered.

    Watching Labyrinth again as an adult was disconcerting. I didn't remember the Connelly character (Sarah?) being so young, and I also didn't recall the (now) obvious sexual tension between her and Bowie. Still love it though. The interview with Bowie that's on the DVD is revealing too (although The Bulge is not mentioned).

    Babel I found almost entirely unrelentingly bleak. I'm not a big fan on films that make me miserable. What's the point of escaping to somewhere you don't like?

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 112 posts Report Reply

  • Heather Gaye,

    I concur with rodgerd above, Labyrinth has come through the years more kindly than The Dark Crystal which seemed much much longer than I remembered.

    I CONCUR. My sister got me the DVD for Christmas, and it's still a great watch. Also, I never really noticed before how Hoggle's shortness considerably increases the amount of screentime Jareth's crotch gets.

    Morningside • Since Nov 2006 • 533 posts Report Reply

  • FletcherB,

    Commenting on only the ones I've seen...

    Dreamgirls... I didnt dislike it as much as others have mentioned, but I agree it aint Oscar material. I didnt think my time had been wasted.

    The Queen. Wasnt expecting much, but it was pretty good. Probably still not Oscar material, but a closer call than dreamgirls. I thought it treated the subject with balance, and provided a good explination for the families behaviour, which at the time, was shown in the popular media as just hard hearted/headed indifference or lack of caring, if not out-right snub.

    Little Miss Sunshine. Fantastic. I was laughing gently throughout at regular intervals, and then at the end I laughed so hard and long, I nearly fell of the couch. Great finish.

    West Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 893 posts Report Reply

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