Cracker by Damian Christie

Ohhhhh, fancy. After eight years at Cracker HQ, I'd kinda got used to the brown corduroy couch, the wonky desk, the dial-up internet. But this is nice.  Oh, a widescreen TV!

I particularly like the feature picture thingy on the front page, so I thought I'd avail myself of that, even just for a little fishing tale. Unfortunately, for someone who likes to take photos, Monday's incredible fishing adventure was the second time in the last month I'd forgotten to take my decent camera along (the first involved a helicopter trip down to Lake Rotoiti for a beautifully sunny Labour Weekend) and was left with just my iPhone.

Still, even with a good camera, dolphins are incredibly hard to photograph, what with you never being quite sure where they're going to pop up. So even in the midst of a work-up, surrounded by dozens of the buggers, this was about the best I could manage:

 

Photographic issues aside, it was an incredible day on the Gulf. Having a couple of mates with flexible/questionable employment status (and one with a boat) meant not fighting every other bugger on the weekend, so when Monday came around, and the sun was shining, we decided to head out for a look.

After motoring out for about an hour, at a depth of 45 metres we started looking for work-ups. For the uninitiated, a "work-up" usually signifies a big school of bait-fish, being furiously dived-bombed by flocks of gannets - an amazing sight close up - often picked off by dolphins and bigger fish. Where there are bait fish, there are usually Snapper down below.

So we squinted into the distance through the binoculars, looking for the tell-tale gannets. From a distance they form a giant T, as they dive in a column, then emerge from the water and then re-queue again at the top. As far as we could see there were plenty of birds sitting on the water, but no action above.

A random drop of the jig - we were using small jigs rather than fresh bait, far more pleasant than the smell of pilchards and squid turning rancid on your hands in the hot sun - turned up a decent snapper, but further drops proved less fruitful. We'd have to find that work-up if we all wanted dinner.

Not that it wasn't pleasant enough out there. The sea was glassy and the sun pounded down. Dolphins abounded, mothers with calves in numerous pods - more than I've ever seen out fishing before, and probably at least 100 all told. And then we spotted a wobbly dorsal fin off in the distance. What was it? An Orca? Some weird shark? We motored closer for a look, and I found myself just metres from one of my favourite fish - if it's possible to have such a thing past the age of 5 - and yet one I had never seen in real life: A Sunfish.

Again, not a great shot, but here's a photo which gives you a better idea what they look like, and how big they are.

Anyway, by the time we'd followed that around for a while (me because I wanted to spend all day with it and was seriously regretting not having a mask and snorkel; them because it was being followed by a few big kingfish they hoped to lure away), there was a change in the air. Birds started leaving, flying off in one direction. We followed... and found a work-up of massive proportions.

As we motored into the middle of the kamikaze gannets - big birds smashing into the water at great speed just metres from our boat - the excitement was palpable. We couldn't get our lines down quick enough, and as it turned out, the Snapper below felt much the same way. Before the weights hit the bottom the Snapper were on. All three of us we hooked at once.

For me, nothing quite says Summer like three reels screaming as the fish take off.

Fishing in a work-up is insane. More fish than you need, eager to jump on your line, but still keen for a fight. Your arm screams with the pain of constant winding, the bottom of the boat is covered in blood and still-flapping fish as you try and keep count to ensure you stay under quota.

Then another highlight. Fifty metres away, a Right Whale breaches. The first time I've ever seen a whale in real life too, even though they're common enough out on the Gulf, particularly in a decent work-up.

The day couldn't get any better. With our limit of well-decent Snapper on board (we'd thrown anything vaguely small, or particularly big, back - sustainability is key), there was no point fishing any more, so we headed for home. Even after a good day's fishing, the ride home can take a while, and you know that the next few hours will involve unpacking, washing the boat, and then gutting/scaling/filleting your haul - in itself a massive task. But it was still pretty hard to wipe the smile off our faces, and the thought of freshly caught Snapper fried in butter for dinner (and lunch, and dinner, and lunch...) and a couple on the smoker was certainly something to look forward to.

(If anyone's looking for a fishing charter over summer, my mate Steve whose boat we went out on is in the process of starting up a small customised charter business - only up to four people, very reasonable rates - drop me a line.)

After a wee unanticipated delay with the judging, I’m pleased to announce that Dave Gibson from closet.co.nz has come back to me with the winners of the WORDSBY t-shirt competition.

Avid readers will recall that the competition was based around the WORDSBY series produced by closet.co.nz, which essentially teams up an artist/designer with a songwriter/band in order to produce a series of quite cool t-shirts. And so I asked for people to submit their favourite kiwi lyric they’d like to see on a t-shirt.

Dave got back to me yesterday and was blown away with the quality of the responses (he clearly underestimates the musical geekiness of the PA readership, as did I with some of the frankly incredibly obscure suggestions that came through. Rather than three WORDSBY t-shirts, he’s decided to give away SIX, one to each of the following entries, and even better is looking into the possibility of getting some of these made for Christmas (songwriter’s permission, design etc all notwithstanding)

1. Steve Barnes – The Front Lawn - "They're making money out of money here"

2. Bill Jones - The Chills - "Fill your mind with alcohol, comic books and drugs....this is the only way for me”

3. recordari – Julia Deans, A New Dialogue: “Don't talk to me like I'm one of your cynical peers. Talk to me like a lover”

4. Russell Brown - Blam Blam Blam - "Free thinkers make messy citizens"

5.Emma Hart - Dance Exponents - Christchurch (In Cashel St I Wait)

6. Venetia King - Collapsing Cities – “I'm never going out again. Or so i said last weekend”

Obviously a couple of PA bloggers in there, but there was nothing in the terms and conditions about PA staff not entering, so hey, I’m not going to begrudge these fine folk a WORDSBY tee of their own.

If your name is on the list above, flick me feedback below with which tee from the WORDSBY range you’d like, sex, size, colour (if there’s an option), your email address, full name and a physical address (rather than a PO Box) and we’ll get your prize right out to you.

Thanks everyone for your contributions and to Dave at closet.co.nz for his generosity with the prizes. I think the WORDSBY project is a great idea – which is why I approached him in the first place to do this – so keep an eye out for new tees as they become available and bear it in mind when looking for Xmas presents for those hard-to-buy-for music lovers in the family…

After making a bit of a song and dance about having a crack at the half marathon last year, and then never managing to run it due to lack of training and unfortunate injuries, I thought I'd be a bit quieter this time around. Probably advice I should follow more in general, but anyway.

So this year, I entered again, along with my sister (so I'd have a training buddy) and have been pounding the pavement over the last few months. We didn't follow our prescribed training regime to the letter, and the planned month of temperance leading up to Sunday's event never quite happened (in fact, it was replaced with a succession of boozy weekends in celebration of the early arrival of summer), but I was reasonably confident we'd done enough.

Despite being sick all week, I resolved I couldn't back out again. So at 5am on Sunday morning, still in the midst of the feverish night sweats I can't seem to shake, I rolled out of bed, into my running shoes, and down to the ferry.

The massive queue (from the ferry buliding to Provedor and back again, for those who know the area) for the boat across to Devonport was made bearable by being able to laugh at the drunks fighting, pashing, and in one case diving into the disgustingly polluted harbour. It struck me it wasn't so many years ago I was staggering out into the daylight, laughing as the Auckland Harriers jogged past.

Despite arriving at 6am, we didn't get on a ferry until after 6.30, didn't get to Devonport until just before 7am, when the starting hooter sounded. We crossed the start line at five past. Fortunately the chips tied onto each runner's shoelaces mean everyone has a precise start/finish time to judge their results.

The first few kilometres were spent trying to get past groups of walkers - good on them for giving it a go, but large-bottomed folk waddling six abreast create a fairly major impediment, and there seems to be no "walkers to the left" rule or what-have you.

The weather was perfect - light cloud but not gloomy, slightly chilly but almost no wind. As the race progressed the sun came out, meaning spectacular views as we crossed the harbour bridge into town. Short of joining a hikoi, the Auckland marathon is the only chance most of us have to tred the bridge, and was a big factor in me doing the race. In running terms though, it also represents a decent hill about 13km into the race, and I was glad we'd done a bit of hill training as we plodded past those who'd slowed to a walk.

All along the route, people had come out to cheer us along. Perhaps they were waiting for friends, but I think many were just turning out to offer general support, and it was most appreciated. There's nothing like a complete stranger yelling encouragement to put a smile on your face, and a spring in your step.

Upping the pace for the final kilometre, the finish line on Fanshawe Street was a welcome sight. First half marathon, done. Not the biggest achievement in the world, I know, and we certainly didn't break any land-speed records, but for the boy who hated running (especially after 3 years at an army school where PE consisted of nothing but...), it was a proud moment.

Next year I'll try for a decent time. Just as soon as my knees are able to bend...

______

(I know there's still been no announcement about the winner of the closet.co.nz t-shirt competition. I've been trying to pin down the judge in question, but whatever happens winners will be announced by the end of the week.)

First, despite today's reversion to recent poor form, can I just say Thank F***k the weather finally changed in Auckland. That first sunny day in (more or less) months coinciding with the first day of daylight savings. I felt like a jumbo box of antidepressants had just arrived in the mail.

I was supposed to go to a swishy cocktail function in town, but decided instead to ride around the burbs with the missus (I got her a bike for her birthday, and not because she's 5) and I felt like a kid again - the long lazy afternoon just peddling around the streets for no real reason. Then I came home and finally planted the seed potatoes that had been germinating quietly in the corner of the lounge. Which made me feel 60. So it all evened out.

When my friends overseas boast about all the great music acts they get to see living in NYC or London, I must admit feeling envious. It doesn't last long - I love living here and do so by choice, and it only takes the thought of a week camping on Great Barrier, fishing, diving for cray and scallops for me to remember why I'm here.

But then, bonus, these next few months are as awash with great gigs as the Barrier is with fat scollies.

This very weekend, for instance, will find me listening to the sober tones of Joy Division bassist Peter Hook performing (with band) the entire Unknown Pleasures album from start to finish. The Saturday sold out pretty smartly but I believe there are still tickets for the Sunday night show (which I'm going to) and the Powerstation, which is definitely my new favourite old venue. Sure it's not Joy Division as such, but it's as close as any of us are likely to get so I reckon it's worth a look.

The following week promises to seriously ruin my half-marathon training (which is going well thanks), with the Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards on Thursday (tickets are $20)...

...then the next night sees Eru Dangerspiel at the Auckland Town Hall. Eru Dangerspiel is Riki Gooch's (Trinity Roots) alter ego, and in true Welly styles it's a massive collaboration with the likes of Anna Coddington, Whirimako Black; Joe, Scott and Toby from Fat Freddy's; Isaac and Chip from Opensouls, King Kapisi and a bunch more... I'm told by a friend that the last Town Hall gig was "a religious experience" (and at $47.50 I reckon it's not a bad deal either...) - Riki/Eru will be on Public Address Radio this weekend too.

Also, after interviewing them both recently for PA Radio, I'm planning on checking out the Kids of 88 and Naked & Famous release tour (again at the Powerstation, I think I'll be upstairs for that and leave the downstairs for the 'Dickheads' who I'm sure will be in ready supply that night. I'm expecting both the bands to go off though...

After all the synth pop I'll be needing a soul fix - Ladi6 will be having a release gig for her new album at the Powerstation on November 4 (she's back from a Europe support tour with Gil Scott Heron!) and then the incredible Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings land just before Xmas. If you're not familiar with Sharon Jones, this remix is a great place to start (hat-tip Automatic @95bfm for that one...)

And then... and this has really made my week... the best Big Day Out line-up in years. A great mix of old - Primal Scream playing the 'Screamadelica" album - awesome) - Iggy and the Stooges - Shihad playing 'The General Electric' and the not-so-old - Nick Cave's Grinderman, M.I.A and LCD Soundsystem particularly floating my boat in that department. I've been iffy about the lineups for the past couple years (although I've always enjoyed the day, and the organisers have really nailed it) but this one is a no-brainer.

And then... after a week soaking up the sun and sea on Great Barrier, it'll be time to head to the Powerstation again for The National, who still hold the #1 spot in my trophy cabinet for their Kings Arms show a couple of years back. First concert's already sold out in 30 minutes, but the second one's still available I think. Definitely worth it (and go and buy 'Boxer' and 'Alligator' at least if you're not familiar) - here's 'Fake Empire' from 'Boxer' performed on Letterman.

And then Public Enemy... and then...

Point being, I reckon we're doing okay. You can keep yer English fortnight of fine weather. Bill English says that after years of spending too much, now we've gone in the other direction - so now's the time to exercise your credit card on your nearest ticketing website - if not for you, then for the country.

This latest news about David Garrett doesn’t surprise me. Not because I think he’s the sort of person who would have an assault conviction. Or even because he strikes me as the sort of person who would fraudulently misuse the premature death of an infant for his own gain (or simply as some sort of experiment or prank, as he claims).

No, it doesn’t surprise me because he’s a human being. A fairly odious one, granted – and in fact one thing that does surprise me is his ability to reinforce that view almost every time he opens his mouth* – but a human being all the same. And human beings make mistakes. Human beings get in fights sometimes. Human beings make errors of judgement. Human beings do stuff when they’re young they regret when they’re old.

What has struck me most over the past two days, is that the words coming out of Garrett’s mouth, explaining away the assault, trying to justify the passport fraud as a youthful prank, could very easily be those spoken by a young man being convicted of his third strike, a young man facing a life in jail. It was a stitch up, the other guy started it, and he’d probably admit it too, if he hadn’t hit that table on a particularly nasty angle on the way down, and lost his life. She’d seemed happy enough about it at the time, it was only the next day she regretted it and didn’t want to get in trouble with her parents, honest. Yeah, it was a prank that had gotten carried away, and okay a broomhandle isn’t the most comfortable thing for a young man but sexual assault, that’s going a bit far isn’t it?

I wonder in all the time David Garrett has supposed used for soul searching in the past couple of days, whether any of it has been spent questioning his fundamental “all crims are bad crims” mentality.

*In discussing one of Garrett's previous political 'strikes', I asked a couple of friends what they thought of him. One told of how he'd reduced my friend's girlfriend to tears by (completely out of the blue) asking her an obscene question while my friend was in the bathroom. Because Garrett was an MP, someone she thought she should respect, she felt completely blindsided, didn't know what to do, and didn't even mention it to my friend for days. Utterly repugnant.

In my own experience with Garrett he buddied up to me after I'd made a (possibly ill-advised) joke on Back Benches. It was sexist, but I'd meant it ironically, something obviously lost on Garrett. "They're trying to stitch me up too..." he confided, beginning his story with "...there was this one bitch at The Listener...".

I'd be more diplomatic about it, but the guy is an anachronistic creep, like an ugly reject from Mad Men and the sooner the House of Representatives is without him, the better.

_________________________

On a completely different note, the t-shirt entries are being judged by Mr Dave Gibson of closet.co.nz himself at the moment, winners announced next week. And Russ and I are interviewing Don McGlashan next week too for Public Address Radio, so I might pass some of your suggestions on. Stay tuned.