Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Boning Up

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    Indeed. And if I'm paying $600 for a corset, you know what I'm NOT doing in it?

    Wearing it? Man.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Corsets take ages to put on, AND ages to take off...

    I think as long as there is (ahem) 'access', it's probably not an issue.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Absolutely. I can't bear them. A more convenient way of being choked to death would be hard to find. Perhaps that's part of the attraction, the symbolism. They're saying "I'm tied to X by the neck, quite literally". Where X is whatever made them wear the tie.

    Yeah. I don't get the tie voodoo either. But I have managed to get all the way to being the man on the telly without one ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22756 posts Report Reply

  • Qarl deV,

    Can I just say (love corsets too, etc etc etc) what impressive restraint Ms Hart shows, using the phrase "boning up" to title this post, rather than the myriad of other titles I'm sure she came up with.

    Indeed, she did seem to restrain herself. I'm sure there were alternative title, but she was bound to use something seemly. I wonder if there were other titles she was tied to, but felt could not be released onto the public.

    I'm sure she'll buckle to the pressure to tell us other titles if we ask nicely.

    Since Mar 2009 • 1 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Indeed, she did seem to restrain herself. I'm sure there were alternative title, but she was bound to use something seemly.

    I am indeed really impressively restrained. Discretion can be delicious. But not as much fun as a triple-decker pun.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    a triple-decker pun.

    Yes, I did wonder if that were the case, but I thought maybe I was the only person that far in the gutter.

    Snigger.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Do fashion robots dream of electric corsets?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22756 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    Yes, I did wonder if that were the case, but I thought maybe I was the only person that far in the gutter.

    No all of us are in the gutter too, but were too afraid to point it out in public...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    too afraid to point it out in public...

    Rightly so too, you could have someone's eye out. Oho.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    Yes, I did wonder if that were the case, but I thought maybe I was the only person that far in the gutter.

    I quote myself here: "heh heh I said 'boning' "

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    I've always wondered how nudist volleyball doesn't get completely halted by weeping and swearing.

    You don't have to be nude.

    And oddly enough never seen any games stopped due to excessive movement of body parts. I guess you just get used to swinging free.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4451 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    I have a mind & sense of humour that aspire to the giddy heights of the gutter.

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    As Oscar might have put it, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the majestic cantilevered bosoms. Uh, stars, I mean stars. Some of us are looking at the stars.

    All right, and bosoms.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    Oscar? did Oscar the Grouch wear a corset?
    oh, sorry! wrong Oscar.

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 645 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    This might be frightfully immodest of me, but I look at those delicious items and think "Corsets: making other women look like Gracewood women, since 1300 or so."

    (I am so glad not to be living in the 1920s or any other era in which booblessness was the thing.)

    So I thought the semiological (heh) consensus on ties was that they were displaced phallic symbols for the deskbound era - displaced upwards because your actual phallic bits or your confidence-boosting codpiece were inconveniently hidden under the desk? Which of course is why Russell doesn't need to wear one, being such an emblem of masculinity in and of himself. It's the beard, I think.

    But it doesn't explain why the fashion swings (fnarr) between really wide ties and very skinny ones.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Oh, Oscar was simply Wilde about corsets. On boys, though. Actually, I wonder if he was; he probably did wear one himself, out of vanity.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • stephen walker,

    an important lesson there: if one is going to stare up from the gutter, one should be vain and well attired.

    nagano • Since Nov 2006 • 645 posts Report Reply

  • Andrew Stevenson,

    one should be vain and well attired.

    In a corset?

    I was going to try for a pun or three, but its been a long day and my tie has choked the flow of blood to my brain.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    ...and men like me, will always do their damnedest to see through every disguise to the core...

    Perhaps it's because I grew up spending every summer at a nudist camp - but I have a different view.

    Sure the bare undisguised human body is a beautiful thing in all it's variety. There is nothing like growing up around real human bodies to understand that the hollywood definition of beautiful is bollocks and that real beauty is more about being happy inside your body.

    But the "disguises" people choose can be every bit as beautiful (as the corsets shown prove) and say a lot about how the person underneath desires to be seen.

    Clothing can be functional, fun, expressive, attractive, amusing, sexy, conservative ...

    If what you are really saying is that it's the mind inside the body inside the clothes you are interested in, well that mind made choices when they got dressed to go out to dinner with you and those choices are part of that person too.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4451 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Do fashion robots dream of electric corsets?

    Ask, and etc

    The Electric Corset

    "The chest is aided in its healthy development, and the entire system is invigorated". I'll bet it is.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4650 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Words have not yet been invented which can adequately express my loathing of The Neck Tie as an 'indispensible' item in the wardrobe of every office-male in the western world.

    It's that particular combination of pointlessness, physical discomfort and mandatory conformity that really tickles my rage guage.

    A few more options would be nice. I'd be quite happy strolling into the office every morning looking as dapper as any of these three gents

    Still, the wiki article is quite fascinating. 24 (24!) ways to tie the knot.

    And to partly answer a question someone asked earlier:

    Before the Second World War ties were worn shorter than they are today. Around 1944, ties started to become not only wider, but wilder. This was the beginning of what was later labeled the "Bold Look;" ties which reflected the returning GIs' desire to break with wartime uniformity. Widths reached 5", and designs included Art Deco, hunting scenes, scenic photographs, tropical themes, and even girlie prints. Typical length was 48".

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    If one was lying in the gutter wearing a corset could one get up again without assistance?

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Which of course is why Russell doesn't need to wear one, being such an emblem of masculinity in and of himself. It's the beard, I think.

    How very kind of you, but I was thinking more in terms of how screamingly inappropriate a man-corset would be on me ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22756 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    I dunno... you could put it to a referendum. Next Great Blend? I'm sure Emma can procure the necessaries.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    How very kind of you, but I was thinking more in terms of how screamingly inappropriate a man-corset would be on me ...

    S'alright Russell. Other famous hardcore emblems of masculinity are in denial, too.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

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