Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: My Mum and other good things

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  • Joanna,

    we never ate at the table when I was a kid.Hmm?

    Now that we are adults, I expect a sizeable amount of eating to be done at this fictional table.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Pish-posh. The nice thing about PAS is that 99% of the time the most annoying people are the necessary irritant around which forms a lustrous pearl of new perspectives, usefully provocative argument and downright entertaining filth. :)

    Why, thank you. So my concern now is the only way is down. Peaking early. It's a national affliction.

    ETA: It's wonderful when you miss a couple of posts, and somehow feed the innuendo stream without even realising it.
    Carry on.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Even curiouser experience to read this entire thread through without being in the heat of it. It's like a symphony in 5 movements. Tuning in, I guess I can only say I'm anticipating a climax.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Now that we are adults, I expect a sizeable amount of eating to be done at this fictional table.

    I have reliable intelligence that my lap isn't clean enough to eat your dinner off. So to speak...

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    I have reliable intelligence that my lap isn't clean enough to eat your dinner off. So to speak...

    I bet it is a lot cleaner than many things that I have eaten.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Tuning in, I guess I can only say I'm anticipating a climax.

    What, hasn't it happened yet? I've already tabled a report.

    ETA: Here I am on the bloody top again. Just sayin'.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    A mayoral candidate wants to spend $$$ on free citywide Wifi in Wellington. Which seems a waste of resources when we already have 3G. And what will stop people using it instead of home internet to download petabytes of movies?

    There's free public wifi in Dunedin's octagon. I presume it's the city council's set up.

    I think they get around people abusing it by clamping the speed down to something not much faster than dialup.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    Here I am on the bloody top again.

    That's what she said.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    ETA: Here I am on the bloody top again. Just sayin'.

    That's because we're lazy.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    I go away for two days, and you guys turn Russell's post into smut-orama.

    I love PAS.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Umm, little bit afraid now. Thank goodness Emma and Megan aren't here too.

    Have you ever noticed that 'umm' and 'mum' are really the same word? We just start using 'umm' when it becomes too embarrassing to yell 'mum!'

    ETA: And there you are, Megan arrives exactly on cue. I'm hiding...
    No seriously, that was freakin' eerie.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    ETA: And there you are, Megan arrives exactly on cue. I'm hiding...

    Hey! Except, oh....yeah, OK.

    I would heap on the filth. Except, my head is currently overflowing with comments I want to make about something Emma said 2 pages ago.

    Witness my (ahem) restaint, people. It doesn't happen very often.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    This typo is making me think of gloriously backwards Steampunk hats and doubled-up chains and "yo yo yo, I say, good sir!" type talking.

    You may have just invented a genre. Steampunk Rap.

    I'd certainly go for a pair of turntables styled along the lines of those steampunk keyboards that keep cropping up around the internet. As long as they also came with an unfeasibly large pair of horn-style speakers.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Umm, little bit afraid now. Thank goodness Emma and Megan aren't here too.

    Oh, I'm here. I'm just... watching. Don't let me stop you.

    my head is currently overflowing with comments I want to make about something Emma said 2 pages ago.

    Karl-pooling?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Witness my (ahem) restaint, people. It doesn't happen very often.

    But do you wish it did?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    And all this in a thread dedicated to my sainted mother ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    What, hasn't it happened yet? I've already tabled a report.

    I'll never think about "tabling" reports in Parliament in quite the same way. Cross thread pollution, I'll be over that way --> .

    Although now that I mention it, the thought of Parliament fan-fic is perversely appealing.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Russell, I had my own sainted mother staying with me this weekend. I cooked dinner last night, for her and a bunch of people. There was a conversation between Mum, and a gentleman of Emma's acquaintance, that made _me_ blush. And that's tough to do.

    I'm sure your mother would approve, really.

    Emma: That's the one. But like I said to Jo over on twitter, it's not quite so fun when you hand it to me on a platter like that.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    And all this in a thread dedicated to my sainted mother ...

    She can't be all that saintly; she must have had sex at least twice!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    And all this in a thread dedicated to my sainted mother ...

    Tush... give me an hour, and she'll know all the lyrics to 'The Good Ship Venus', be dancing on a table with someone else's knickers on her head and have you in industrial-strength family therapy for the rest of your life. That's not a threat, it's a solemn vow.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Oh, I'm here. I'm just... watching. Don't let me stop you.

    I'm trying to exercise some self control. Now there's an audience. Performance anxiety. It's a real killer.

    And all this in a thread dedicated to my sainted mother ...

    I blame Outrageous Fortune. After last week it seems there is no limit. And, strangely enough, it involved tables. Prison tables.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    There was a conversation between Mum, and a gentleman of Emma's acquaintance, that made _me_ blush.

    I feel compelled to point out that "a gentleman of Emma's acquaintance" is one of the few things on this page that isn't a euphemism. My friendship with the gentleman in question even survived my drunken use of the phrase "If it wasn't for my husband and my boyfriend I'd fucking have you", or words to that effect.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Oh come on. It was a little bit of a euphemism....

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    Russell:

    And all this in a thread dedicated to my sainted mother ...

    Emma:

    I feel compelled to point out that "a gentleman of Emma's acquaintance" is one of the few things on this page that isn't a euphemism.

    I think the original thread was euphemised a while back.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Although now that I mention it, the thought of Parliament fan-fic is perversely appealing.

    Eeww!

    She can't be all that saintly; she must have had sex at least twice!

    Eeewwwwwwww!!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

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