Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Midweek Medley

17 Responses

  • davesparks,

    I can't believe Lawtanya hasn't provoked at least some comment. Let me be the first to congratulate you on un-earthing some genuine internet gold!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 45 posts Report Reply

  • jon_knox,

    Mediawatch no less. Lock up your daughters, Cracker has arrived.

    Gee, I hate to disappoint you Damian, but generally speaking unless someone is really ancient, their daughters aren't listening to Mediawatch.

    Suspect you're a massive hit on the seniors and retirement home circuit though fulla. I hear there's loads of available ladies there. Suspect you could even take a few off RB's hands and that new media whore Steve Haywood. Reckon you might even have a chance with that Che guy.(...what sort of a name is "Che" btw? Is it an abbrev of Chesney or something?)

    (good post D!)

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report Reply

  • Joe Wylie,

    I can't believe Lawtanya hasn't provoked at least some comment. Let me be the first to congratulate you on un-earthing some genuine internet gold!

    If you liked Lawtanya, you'll love BoingBoing & Growabrain:
    http://www.boingboing.net/
    http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/

    flat earth • Since Jan 2007 • 4593 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Suspect you're a massive hit on the seniors and retirement home circuit though fulla.

    Yeah, I must admit that's nothing new. Generalising here, but out of Close Up/Shortland St/Campbell, I think Close Up has the oldest skew. Most time I meet a lay-dee and she asks what I do for a job, the response is either "I don't have a TV" (Where have all these people come from, seemingly in the year that I've been doing this job?!) or "I watch Shortland St/Campbell".

    What usually happens then is that a week or so later, if I see them again, they say "Oh, I mentioned you to my mum, and she totally knows which one you are!"

    Yup. That's me. Big with the Mums.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Yup. That's me. Big with the Mums.

    I'd tell you how well Public Address does with seniors, but that would probably just make you feel even worse ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22834 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Stowell,

    Yeah, very funny "fight"!
    I know "the voice" from Planet Earth, and he's NEVER wrong. But I thought seahorses were hermaphrodites? In which case, aren't they all sort've gay? And what exactly would they be fighting over?

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 2109 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Nah, but the males do get pregnant, which is a pretty gay thing to do. Which presumably means the wife is the one who gets to keep smoking during the pregnancy and head down to the pub during labour and hand out cigars when the phone call comes from the hospital saying the baby was born.

    Ahhh, those must've been the days eh.

    From wikipedia. Which is never wrong:

    Seahorses reproduce in an unusual way: the male becomes pregnant. "The female inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch, where she deposits her eggs, which the male fertilizes. The fertilized eggs then embed in the pouch wall and become enveloped with tissues."[4] New research indicates the male releases sperm into the surrounding sea water during fertilization, and not directly into the pouch as was previously thought

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Stowell,

    So those guys were fighting over a chance to get pregnant- well, that explains it....

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 2109 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Stowell,

    For me- no thanks.
    A/ plenty of kids already
    b/ we both enjoyed my partner's pregnancies in a range of ways I can't quite see us enjoying if I was pregnant.
    Damian?

    Whakaraupo • Since Nov 2006 • 2109 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Yeah, you should really try basic fact checking first, like, um, google? It came up with this one...

    http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/birth/birth.html

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Would I like to be pregnant? What, and rely on my partner to go out and spear mammoths and stuff for dinner? Don't make me laugh...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • jon_knox,

    Stop avoiding the question

    Reading between the lines I think you just got propositioned Damian. (Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!)

    Time to (once again) include a link to your NZ Dating profile in your next blog post.

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    I was wondering about that. So you think when Katie said:

    Out of interest, would either of you two like to get pregnant?

    ...she was totally hitting on both Rob and myself? Sweeeeeet.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • jon_knox,

    And Damian you made it look like the three-way was totally Katie's idea. You are the man! Expect a call from Lyle Lovett's publisher...I hear they are looking to add a few chapters to his 'Scoring way out of your league' book to replace Paul Holmes (post Hine).

    Suspect if Katie's bold enough to proposition 2 strangers simultaneously on the web, she must be a keeper! </bloke-isms>

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report Reply

  • Che Tibby,

    Reckon you might even have a chance with that Che guy

    no! wait! what?

    is that what was happening that time you invited me into someone's bedroom at a party to listen to records?

    i'll call that, "narrow escape by the che"

    the back of an envelope • Since Nov 2006 • 2042 posts Report Reply

  • jon_knox,

    is that what was happening that time you invited me into someone's bedroom at a party to listen to records?

    Correction....you might even have a second chance...listen to records ay?...putting that peice of gold next to "take a look at my etchings". Wicked!! Am learning so much on this thread today and there's not even the faintest sign of Juha....

    Belgium • Since Nov 2006 • 464 posts Report Reply

  • AndrewD,

    Prime Sunday Nights. Best of Top Gear followed by Planet Earth. My 11 and 8 year olds are in heaven. Amercian Idol? Nah.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 54 posts Report Reply

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