Field Theory by Hadyn Green


A vile curse on thee!

I arrived home the other night in time to catch the last five minutes of the Colts vs Patriots game on ESPN. I am indifferent towards the Colts but I hate the Patriots. Hate them with a passion I usually reserve for television psychics.

But why? Well as the old t-shirt equation goes: I support X and anyone playing Y (where Y is the nemesis of X).

There is nothing the Patriots can do in my eyes that isn't cheating or poor sportsmanship. I can't help it. They may have the best players (something I naturally resent them for) but if it's a good play I am sure that they must have cheated somehow, or the ref is biased or... or… or something illegal because they're evil!!!

You get my point right? This is an irrational hatred. It's something that just becomes part of your support for your team. If your opponent is winning then somehow they must be cheating.

For certain teams this is just a natural and constant state (for example the Patriots have always been dirty cheats, you know it, I know and they know it). For other teams it's a fleeting hatred, like the Irish rugby team.

Ever since the Lions tour of '05 I have felt that the Irish team tend to be full of whingers. Irish supporters out there know what I mean. Leading up to the World Cup they were beaten by the Scots and since then they've gone downhill (I mean look at the official splash page for goodness sake!). Last year they could only manage wins over Namibia and Georgia (in the World Cup) and, Scotland and Italy (in the Six Nations). And they don't travel well.

This is of course an irrational and unfounded dislike of the Irish. Even the "whingers" comment above was just put there to shit-stir. I used to like Ireland. I used to support them in the Six Nations (for no real reason) but now I support … I dunno, France?

And of course it's nice to know that we are the target of haters too. The All Blacks are not very well liked up north. Irrational demented hatred is really the only possible reason for this:

As ever, the All Blacks will be about half as good as their followers think they are, though still hardly bad. The power and pride of their collective, the magnificence of their basic skills and ability to adapt to any circumstances cannot hide the fact that a large number of their individuals on this trip would not make a Guinness Premiership club roster. Take, say, Piri Weepu or Jimmy Cowan, the two All Black scrum-halves in Hong Kong yesterday? Hardly galacticos. We'll get back to you, lads.

Though it always scares the hell out of me when I find myself agreeing with Stephen Jones.

Feel free to share your best irrational hatred story. Either your own or someone else's hatred of you. I'll be spending the afternoon with one eye on the Jets-Patriots game, making sure those cheating bastards don't get away with it.

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