Up Front: The Up Front Guide: Dressing for "Success"
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We did try to work out why not all stripy shirts make for a Stripy Shirt, and why it's so easy to spot Stripy Shirts even when they're not wearing stripy shirts. But we were drunk.
We were? Speak for yourself. Jack, where are you? Did I, or did I not, fulfill my responsibility of being slightly sober when you arrived??
But yes. When I last went out drinking in Christchurch, with relatives, I did spend a good amount of time, in my head, counting the stripy shirts among their friends. It was a disturbingly high ratio.
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So, to summarise your suggestions: no matter what men wear, women find muscly bad boys attractive
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the ladiez preferred attributes in a bloke
Loved the footnote:
This article was amended on 7 May 2010. The original headline implied that all women are obsessed with penis size. This has been corrected.
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Out of interest, where does one shop for cravats these days?
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So, to summarise your suggestions: no matter what men wear, women find muscly bad boys attractive
Well....not exclusively.
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Reading this, it's all, "Oh yeah, I know him. And him." Etc.
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Well....not exclusively
Fortunately. Did seem a common 'thread', if you will
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I'm a little disappointed that 'fireman' didn't make your list of uniforms.
I've heard that chicks dig the firebloke, so I am as we speak totally rocking a hot combo of bulky, shapeless, heavily insulated fire and water retardant protective clothing that is uncomfortable, heavy and makes me sweat like a pig.
I have tastefully acessorised this with a helmet, D-ring Carabiner, torch and oxygen mask.
I look forward to being flirtatiously asked: 'where's the fire?'. The answer, of course, is 'in my pants'.
Look out Auckland, here I come.
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where does one shop for cravats these days?
Ebay. Seriously.
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You are truly evil Emma, you know damn well that any man who actually tries to "dress for success" is only going to be laughed at by you ladeez! All you've done is hand out guides to being an object of mirth as opposed to being an object of desire.
a) they're more or less proportional to body size, and
b) they're pretty much all the same.Having grown up as a nudist I can say you are wrong Emma. I've seen some disturbingly non-proportional instances.
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Pyjamas. If you're really really up for it add slippers. Pantingly desperate, a dressing gown.
A pipe and a newspaper would be considered acceptable accoutrements.
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Point of order: if you wish to smoke a pipe whilst in your dressing gown, you need to have your accounts audited by Deloittes first. I'm going to want to see some proof of income.
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I wonder whether there's another archcetype worth considering:
The Silver Fox
You Will Need: An impeccably tailored suit, with an indefinable something that says it's not just for the boardroom. Either a crisp shirt and tie or a black Zambesi t-shirt. Height. Dark hair greying at the temples, well-groomed but without obvious product. An expensive watch, but not a Rolex or Tag Heuer. An air of worldly amusement and effortless confidence.
To an inexperienced eye, the look may be indistinguishable from every other suit on Lambton Quay, but something in the cut of the clothes and the arch of an eyebrow tells you that he doesn't just spend his weekends reading the NBR and quoting BMW specs. There's a subtle whiff of money and power, and although he won't talk about it or where it came from, it probably didn't come from selling townhouses or running for the local council. Men want him to invest in their schemes; women want to sleep with him (and many have). There's nothing really to tell that he's on the prowl, other than a direct look and a half-smile.
Archetype: A GQ cover.
If You Cock This Up You Will Look: Like Bob from Accounts.
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The Silver Fox
Yes. Brilliant.
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Pyjamas. If you're really really up for it add slippers. Pantingly desperate, a dressing gown.
So you're saying that the uber-stud is Arthur Dent?
Jack, where are you? Did I, or did I not, fulfill my responsibility of being slightly sober when you arrived??
"Slightly", yes. Adverbs cover a multitude of sins.
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Out of interest, where does one shop for cravats these days?
Kirks is about it for new ones, and most of those are aimed at weddings rather than everyday wear. Hunters & Collectors and Ziggurat are where I tend to get mine.
World did some lovely contemporary ones for a while. Unfortunately mine disappeared early one morning while walking home from Hooch, along with the hat band from my best trilby.
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Rich: the whole guy-in-a-uniform thing might have gotten you a date in the 70s, but since the Village People came out (or rather since the general public stopped treating them like Liberace don't-ask/don't-tell) it's not as good a strategy as it once was ....
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I've heard that chicks dig the firebloke, so I am as we speak totally rocking a hot combo of bulky, shapeless, heavily insulated fire and water retardant protective clothing that is uncomfortable, heavy and makes me sweat like a pig.
I have a male friend who collects the firemen's calendars and would like your number.
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I used to own a pair of "fuck me" black stilettos. Well, sometimes they were "fuck me" shoes, and sometimes, they were "love my legs in these" shoes. I like the versatility of clothes and I'm eternally grateful not to be at all attractive to men who find this whole situation confusing. Very annoying.
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JoJo,
The Silver Fox
Well, hello, Tim Gunn :)
And @Megan Wegan, yup, been there, been totally skeeved by the layout, which ensures that the leerers can and do surround the dance floor, drink in hand, watching like it's a jelly-wrestling pit.
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Well, hello, Tim Gunn :)
Oh dear, it's a sign of how out of touch I am that I had to google that. Surely there are some heterosexual examples?
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hand out guides to being an object of mirth as opposed to being an object of desire.
I thought the ladies liked a man who could make them laugh?
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I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I? -
I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?
Well, if I'm correct in reading the intent of the post as an inversion of male stereotypes about women's clothing, then yes.
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Or to be more specific to that quote, there's a difference between being the object of mirth and being a co-conspirator in mirth.
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Having grown up as a nudist I can say you are wrong Emma. I've seen some disturbingly non-proportional instances.
Growers and showers. Like helmets and anteaters, but different.
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