kitty litter

:)

Perhaps bringing this back on thread(s),most of those men are totally up for it, but most aren't really pulling it off, at least as far as clothes are concerned.

I find the exercise of care over a book more attractive. I am of course completely shallow.

No you're not. And while I doubt I'd get the chance to borrow books from Gio, now I'm not sure I'd want to. I have an unread copy of an Ihimaera book you…

100% with you on the rest of what you said.

Apart from the shallow bit...
;-)

How about everyone gets to do what they want with their books?

Allow me to rephrase, because of course they can. The sexiness, for me, is diminished by the cover-curling. This is probably a result of two things:

1/ most of my book supply has always been communal – from…

she didnt' get to borrow the book.

That's right Man! Sometimes you have to put your foot down with a firm hand.

I do have to have a slight word with the guy on the subway. Please don't curl your covers around like that. Have some respect for the book as an object.

How about everyone gets to do what they want with their books?

A friend once picked up a book…

Please don't curl your covers around like that.

Yous Chicks always find something we do annoying eh?
;-)

Absolutely. I mean, short of tattooing "take me" on their foreheads, it's hard to see how much clearer those chaps could make their intentions.

I do have to have a slight word with the guy on the subway. Please don't curl your covers around like that. Have some respect for…

(Also, this thread had me digging through my archives in search of the relevant Kaz Cooke cartoon – the one with the caption "I say, Kath,…

And – mis-direction, pseudo-empathy, and bluffing still would work perfectly fine in that line of work even now I would think (paticularly with a taser close to hand.)

Heh. That's also a pretty accurate description of how I just persuaded my malingering children to stop swinging the lead and go…

Kia ora Emma- I withdraw, and apologise to you & all readers of this thread. If you wish to delete any/all of my postings, that's OK.

Just the one. All gone.

It was an…

> Y'know, the one who always drinks straight from the jug.

Is there another way?

Nope.

Oh, beer jugs.

Is there another way?

Bendy straws. Funnels. Engineering students are remarkably inventive. Considering.

Y'know, the one who always drinks straight from the jug.

Is there another way?

I was walking past Urge one night and heard the doorman explain to two men that it was no-shirts night, and they'd have to disrobe to enter (which they happily did).

There's certainly another mini-category for 'people who as soon as it gets vaguely warm (either during summer, or in…

You're one sophist-I-cato'd fella.

Soffit-stuck Katydid, surely
ie: an under-arch stridulator
now that is cricket!
Daylight rubbery and all...

Now the question is, are you CatoElder or CatoMinor?

neither Censor nor suicidal-Stoic am I
and Dionysius may keep you in distichs
for a couplet minutes or two, but cantos aside,…

I imagine with no shirts and no arse things would get a bit drafty.

Like this guy? I'm confused by the extra leg. Do think his name is Jake? It is SFW, by the way. Mostly. You might have to answer the odd question or two.

I imagine with no shirts and no arse things would get a bit drafty.

Arseless chaps? Surely chaps with arses are simply trousers.

Jeansless chaps is what you need to be careful with.

Surely chaps with arses are simply trousers

A tautology? I suppose it depends how tight they are. :)

Like all discussion of clothing and sexual politics.

Women dress for women – discuss

Give that man a pony. Indeed it is. Like all discussion of clothing and sexual politics.

What, so should we stop? Anyway, backless chaps are soo last month.

All blatantly heterosexist.

Give that man a pony. Indeed it is. Like all discussion of clothing and sexual politics.

Emma we homos have been signalling our availability dressing to pull for years. Any man wearing arse-less leather chaps is just asking for it ;-)

Now the question is, are you CatoElder or CatoMinor?

I can't believe it's not butter.

That makes me think of all those sweet laydeez who swooned over our stripy shirted PM who are now all saying...
"I can't believe it's not Better"

BTW, why do you ask? An introduction might be a little difficult at this distance.

Oh gods, no, that wasn't 'do you have a sister I can have?'. It just sounded like you were speaking from experience.

Actual philosophy is remarkably unsexy

Yeah, I don't think my papers in first-order predicate calculus would have done me any good if used as a pick-up topic.

I'm just so over women wanting to shag me all the time.
Every time I walk into anywhere, there they are, eyeing me up like a piece of meat.
I try to put them off by pretending to be Italian.
I dress as badly as I can, the light marino…

D'you have sisters, Rich?

One. Who is as tall as me (6'2'' in old money), and given that she was a semi-serious prospect for the UK women's rowing team at one point, is also as broad as me across the shoulders.

I'm quite used to having my wardrobe raided (my…

Did it fit you ok? Clearly the only reason you'd be poking around your brothers wardrobe is looking for clothes to steal.

That one way, unfortunately, too big across the shoulders. D'you have sisters, Rich?

Cliff Curtis?

Hmmm, looking at the photo I could probably add rubber gloves and lubricant to the list above....

have any love for the paramedic?

Cliff Curtis?

the artist – Atom 1746 – has an exhibition on at
Gallery O in the Arts Centre until May 19th
check it out if you are into comics
– I'm gonna go look today – it looks fun...

Did I wear stripped shirts?

Stripped shirts? Are those the ones with the poppers up the front so at an appropriate point in your routine you can brrrrrp! them open?

I was once confused to find a man's Perth police shirt in my brother's wardrobe. I still can't really fathom…

I used to be a philosophy student so I really hate blowhards talking about those three philosophers, well any philosopher to be honest.

Clearly I need to blow harder. Or make my sarcasm more obvious. Once was philosophy student also.

Husserl, Kant and Kierkegaard were more up my alley. But…

once you go black you never go back.

This and other clichés coming your way from the walkin' talkin'
embodiment of self aggrandising BS.

I've seen so many uncoordinated brown men – who thought they were some kind of divine gift – on dance floors, I gave up going out.

this was a type pretty much everyone avoided, becuase they always smelt of cow poo

Baudrillard, Bathes and Derrida are for real men.

Without wishing to re-start the po-mo wars, none of that has ever seemed shaggable to me.

I…

man... the times i've been followed to the toilets in pubs/bars only to be asked if i got any weed for sale ?

scary shit cos i'm thinking, OK i'm gonna have…

"If you screw this up, people will try to score P off you".

Well, it was either this guy's knowledge of post-modernism, or my in-depth understanding of existentialism, which just sounds like the worst party in the world.

Only for the onlookers, and more fool them.

My memories of any and all sex I had in Timaru bear an element of regret.

I…

Bushmonkeys

clean cut, brown skin, toned athletic build, sporty designer brand wearing, headphones linked to mp3 player loaded with smooth r'n'b, classic soul and hardcore hiphop, drinks water, doesnt smoke, impish smile, twinkle in their eye,…

why it's so easy to spot Stripy Shirts even when they're not wearing stripy shirts.

If they are untucked they are stripy shirted...and probably also from north of the Bombay Hills.

My memories of any and all sex I had in Timaru bear an element of regret.

Just sayin'.

QFT. It's probably not enough samples to establish a pattern, but is it a risk you want to take?

But then, hang on, did he go on to quote Shakespeare?

He was…

But yeah, people who are passionate about things, and enthuse: Hot.

It's one of the things I most like about young people. They haven't learned to be all cynical, and still hold out hope that people might give a shit what they reckon.

This advice is all well and good Emma, but where does it leave a respective male such as myself? Especially one holed up in Timaru for most of the time.

Join the volunteer fire brigade – or at least become chummy enough to borrow their jackets

You know what I need? Fewer people who know me

Move to Auckland :)

On a slightly serious note, the ubiquitousness of Hallensteins (and Glassons) clothes on a night out on the town in either Christchurch or Dunedin

You could be describing Napier there as well.

Don't you be dissing the House of H now. It's clothed me and my kids for a while now!

On a slightly serious note, the ubiquitousness of Hallensteins (and Glassons) clothes on a night out on the town in either Christchurch or Dunedin is one of those eternal things, like…

In my defence, it's by World rather than Hallensteins

Don't you be dissing the House of H now. It's clothed me and my kids for a while now!

This advice is all well and good Emma, but where does it leave a respective male such as myself? Especially one holed up in Timaru for most of the time.

My memories of any and all sex I had in Timaru bear an element of regret.

Just sayin'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXpkt6revK0&feature=related

and a 90's version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM8agr7_TxE

Well, it was either this guy's knowledge of post-modernism, or my in-depth understanding of existentialism

Wait, was that... No, couldn't have been. But then, hang on, did he go on to quote Shakespeare?

I lent it to a friend, and he confirmed the phenomenon.

And then there was the dress Marines Jacket. Mmm shiny buttons. Actually makes a great mini dress.

You know what I need? Fewer people who know me

Well you've come to the wrong place!

I thought it was his arse.

Well, I'm hardly going to point out his knowledge of post-modernism while we're watching him tend bar, am I?

(The arse may have been a significant factor, it's true. You know what I need? Fewer people who know me.)

Well, it was either this guy's knowledge of post-modernism, or my in-depth understanding of existentialism, which just sounds like the worst party in the world.

I thought it was his arse.

The sounds he made as he was deconstructed were a bit like a faked orgasm?

He just played back that Meg Ryan scene with a knowing smirk (from the back of his Harley)

I've only seen that work for the visiting lecturer...

Well, it was either this guy's knowledge of post-modernism, or my in-depth understanding of existentialism, which just sounds like the worst party in the world.

It does depend somewhat on the thing. As demonstrated ably by a good-looking young man of my acquaintance whose passionate speeches are largely based around the finer details of power supplies. Other engineers' eyes glaze over, let alone the rest of us.

AC or DC.

Yeah, see, I'm calling 'actual sensitive pretending to be fake-sensitive to get laid'.

I know that I really shouldn't go there, but I'm driven to picture that. The sounds he made as he was deconstructed were a bit like a faked orgasm?

I have seen post-modernism get a guy laid

I've only seen that work for the visiting lecturer – and I suspect it was all about the power of his role and the exotic accent rather than his corduroy jacket or the subject matter

yet have to come over and get your present

Eh? I'll be in touch

I'm calling 'actual sensitive pretending to be fake-sensitive to get laid'

Oh cmon, I was having enough trouble keeping up as it was

It does depend somewhat on the thing.

That is actually true. Cause you know what I've always hated? Post-modernism. I'd love to argue against the theory here, but I have seen post-modernism get a guy laid. Well, I say 'seen'...

Slash!

You're a bad man, Brown. Also,

Bollocks to that.…

A man who is passionate about something and articulate about sharing that passion is remarkably sexy though. I don't have to share his passion (yet) so long as I can see how one might get…

Baudrillard, Bathes and Derrida are for real men.

As in regular bathing maketh the man? I think you mean Barthes. But such an ignoble end--being run over by a laundry van (the kind of connection that Ian Dalziel would relish?)

As for philosophers, give me Raymond Williams any day. Very…

A man who is passionate about something and articulate about sharing that passion is remarkably sexy though. I don't have to share his passion (yet) so long as I can see how one might get to love that thing.

It does depend somewhat on the thing. As demonstrated ably by…

A man who is passionate about something and articulate about sharing that passion is remarkably sexy though.

Don't ever ask me to talk about algorithm design methodologies then ... I wouldn't want to lead you on.

am yet to notice that experience

And you yet have to come over and get your present. :)

Boring girls to death talking about one's specialty is not the mark of a sensitive man. It is, however, the mark of a genuine man.

A man who is passionate about something and articulate about sharing that passion is remarkably sexy though. I don't have to share his passion (yet)…

trying to get his attention precisely because of his expertise

am yet to notice that experience

That erm penis observation is kinda ancient history: bonobo penes would make the average H. sap. sap. cry-

Soo, what if the girl is trying to get his attention precisely because of his expertise, and he wont discuss, because he's feeling used.

Tough one. I've been in this situation many a time. Sometimes "when I'm good and ready" is the only way to avoid a lie.

It has even been theorised that bipedalism evolved in humans to allow the fashionably new, larger, flexible penis to be displayed to discerning females.

I dont get out much, as someone elsewhere noted.

Emma, I have to contradict you there. Boring girls to death talking about one's specialty is not the mark of a sensitive man. It is, however, the mark of a genuine man.

Soo, what if the girl is trying to get his attention precisely because of his expertise, and he…

So you're in the clear either way.

Are you completely mad? I may have to discipline and punish you for such presumptions of the order of things.

'It's not knowledge bro, until you use it.' Or something.

Are we able to in some way distinguish the above guy, who is totally admirable

On the dancefloor. Otherwise, what Danielle said and Emma's test, and other stuff

Did I wear stripped shirts? Don't think there are any photos.

And even if there were, you wouldn't just take them willy-nilly to correlate to an outside, objective reality, now, would you? So you're in the clear either way.

Without wishing to re-start the po-mo wars, none of that has ever seemed shaggable to me.

Luckily I'm 18 years married with three children, so it hardly seems to matter. Apparently 'A' waited long enough for me to grow out of my 'I'm really deep and here's my bookcase to…

Second use of a 'hose' pun in one day.

What's with the add homonym attack?
But, I thought ya got one per meaning, Ref...
oh well, off to the synonym bin...
;- )

tempting fate dept...

he-whores

or, we could be he-hoes...…

Baudrillard, Bathes and Derrida are for real men.

Without wishing to re-start the po-mo wars, none of that has ever seemed shaggable to me.

'fuck me, I'm sensitive' guy and 'actually sensitive but also likes the booty' guy need two different headings. Because both of them involve wheatgrass and Foucault, right?

Yes, I presumed that was what you meant. The two species are not reliably distinguishable pre-shag. There are heuristics, but they abound with…

Baudrillard, Bathes and Derrida are for real men.

I think only one of them has the slightest chance of having read the Foucault.

Bollocks to that. I was much better with the Jung. Quote that shit when you're high, and it's deep.

Also, along these lines, I sort of want to add The Giles. Distinguished, greying, glasses, sensitive,…

a Firemans jacket on one occasion and where did I get that from? Ah haa...

I was once confused to find a man's Perth police shirt in my brother's wardrobe. I still can't really fathom how that happened.

I feel your pain, Steve.

You're pretending to be Italian too? Damn, you're good.

Because both of them involve wheatgrass and Foucault, right?

I think only one of them has the slightest chance of having read the Foucault.

I think possibly my geek test might be applicable here. Work out what their passion is (or is supposed to be), and lead them to talk…

no, there is no reliable test

No, I mean, most of the time we can tell the difference pretty early on (the two types are usually distinguished by wildly disparate whining levels), but 'fuck me, I'm sensitive' guy and 'actually sensitive but also likes the booty' guy need two different…

Well, hello, Tim Gunn :)

Surely there are some heterosexual examples?

George Clooney. Sean Connery. Tom from Survivor

I thought the ladies liked a man who could make them laugh?

Lots of men make me laugh. Especially the ones who say "Whaddarya, some kind of lesbian" as if it was an insult...

I thought the ladies liked a man who could make them laugh?

Yes! absolutely, but I can't remember anything they were wearing. I on the other hand may have been wearing a Firemans jacket on one occasion and where did I get that from? Ah haa...

The Kingsland Villa

You will need: Advanced glaucoma helpful but not essential. Your mother is still dressing you from beyond the grave, and socks/underwear are only replaced when they disintergrate.

Archetype: A flatulent Ken doll, when needs his monobrow thinned out with a hedge trimmer.

If You…

Are we able to in some way distinguish the above guy, who is totally admirable, from the 'fuck me, I'm sensitive' guy, who is totally phony?

Yup. If he's not sensitive after you fucked, he's a phony. Prior to that, no, there is no reliable test, other than "most men…

Hey, you missed "sensitive and understanding of women — willing to listen but still totally up for it if that's what you like."

And you know why? Cause I couldn't come up with an archetype for him. He was a bit more 'drinking organic wheatgrass and reading Foucault'.

Are we…

Hose a pretty boy then?

I'm going to have to yellow card you, Ian*.

Second use of a 'hose' pun in one day.

*Well, I would if there were formal rules about this sort of thing.

So, to summarise your suggestions: no matter what men wear, women find muscly bad boys attractive

Well....not exclusively.

My one stint of jury duty involved a drugs case, the defendant pretty much matching the "muscly bad boy" description to a tee. He was pretty thick and up himself as well.…

Men want him to invest in their schemes; women want to sleep with him (and many have). There's nothing really to tell that he's on the prowl, other than a direct look and a half-smile.

To quote Liz Lemon, I want to go to there.

I'm a little disappointed that 'fireman' didn't make your list of uniforms.

Hose a pretty boy then?
;- )

The Silver Fox

Well done sir.

I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?

You're in good company. We're all doing it wrong. Otherwise we'd be wearing women's clothing.

Having grown up as a nudist I can say you are wrong Emma. I've seen some disturbingly non-proportional instances.

Growers and showers. Like helmets and anteaters, but different.

I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?

Well, if I'm correct in reading the intent of the post as an inversion of male stereotypes about women's clothing, then yes.

hand out guides to being an object of mirth as opposed to being an object of desire.

I thought the ladies liked a man who could make them laugh?
.
.
.
.
I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?

Well, hello, Tim Gunn :)

Oh dear, it's a sign of how out of touch I am that I had to google that. Surely there are some heterosexual examples?

The Silver Fox

Well, hello, Tim Gunn :)

And @Megan Wegan, yup, been there, been totally skeeved by the layout, which ensures that the leerers can and do surround the dance floor, drink in hand, watching like it's a jelly-wrestling pit.

I've heard that chicks dig the firebloke, so I am as we speak totally rocking a hot combo of bulky, shapeless, heavily insulated fire and water retardant protective clothing that is uncomfortable, heavy and makes me sweat like a pig.

I have a male friend who collects the firemen's calendars…

Out of interest, where does one shop for cravats these days?

Kirks is about it for new ones, and most of those are aimed at weddings rather than everyday wear. Hunters & Collectors and Ziggurat are where I tend to get mine.

World did some lovely contemporary ones for a while.…

Pyjamas. If you're really really up for it add slippers. Pantingly desperate, a dressing gown.

So you're saying that the uber-stud is Arthur Dent?

Jack, where are you? Did I, or did I not, fulfill my responsibility of being slightly sober when you arrived??

"Slightly", yes. Adverbs cover a multitude…

The Silver Fox

Yes. Brilliant.

The Silver Fox

You Will Need: An impeccably tailored suit, with an indefinable something that says it's not just for the boardroom. Either a crisp shirt and tie or a black Zambesi t-shirt. Height. Dark hair greying at the temples, well-groomed but…

A pipe and a newspaper would be considered acceptable accoutrements.

where does one shop for cravats these days?

Ebay. Seriously.

I've heard that chicks dig the firebloke, so I am as we speak totally rocking a hot combo of bulky, shapeless, heavily insulated fire and water retardant protective clothing that is uncomfortable, heavy and makes me sweat like…

Well....not exclusively

Fortunately. Did seem a common 'thread', if you will

So, to summarise your suggestions: no matter what men wear, women find muscly bad boys attractive

Well....not exclusively.

the ladiez preferred attributes in a bloke

Loved the footnote:

This article was amended on 7 May 2010. The original headline implied that all women are obsessed with penis size. This has been corrected.

We did try to work out why not all stripy shirts make for a Stripy Shirt, and why it's so easy to spot Stripy Shirts even when they're not wearing stripy shirts. But we were drunk.

We were? Speak for yourself. Jack, where are you? Did I, or did I…

If men are always up for it, then women never are. So we're not going to pursue you without a little extra encouragement.

You got me there.

Apparently, several million years of hominid evolution have already spoken on the subject of the ladiez preferred attributes in a bloke.

Co-incidentally, I've just been having a long conversation with a friend about penis size. Especially re my assumptions that most 'people who shag men' have the same view as…

Should I be able to work out who this is?

No – this one harks back to highschool (well I was in highschool he was a good 10 years older and doing highschool girls).

You would have to post this on the one day I'm wearing a stripy shirt, wouldn't you?

We did try to work out why not all stripy shirts make for a Stripy Shirt, and why it's so easy to spot Stripy Shirts even when they're not wearing stripy shirts. But…

Ickyest guy I ever tangled with used to bathe in Jazz. I'm pretty sure these days he will have moved on to Lynx and is probably trying to pick up chicks at least 25 years younger than him.

Eeeew. This reminds me of being at Boogie Wonderland at about 3am…

Right, it's back to the cravat and pink gin…

now that Aviator sunglasses ... are no longer really acceptable in public

Oh noes! When did this happen? Why did noone tell me?

Aviator sunglasses have never been acceptable unless you are actually piloting something capable of either bombing or strafing.

By this you don't mean the "sweater over the shoulder" look that many hip-hop artists have been rockin recently?

But that's ironic preppy, right? Right? Tell me that's ironic, don't make me cry.

I'd never really thought about where the species name homo erectus... er... arose.

You needn't worry…

Then I grew a beard and pow!

I'm thinking I…

Ickyest guy I ever tangled with used to bathe in Jazz. I'm pretty sure these days he will have moved on to Lynx and is probably trying to pick…

The Preppie

Don't. Just don't. This hasn't worked for anyone since Matthew Broderick.

By this you don't mean the "sweater over the shoulder" look that many hip-hop artists have been rockin recently? And looking quite nice too I might add (a Prada pullover is on my to-buy when I'm rich…

Men are always up for it, and women never are, except for when they dress to indicate so... hence why you get hit on when you dress like that.

The up-for-it guys are remaining gentlemanly until you give the green light... or something. :)

I'm with Fletcher on this one – there a basic flaw in your whole premise.

Conflicting stereotypes. If men are always up for it, then women never are. So we're not going to pursue you without a little extra encouragement.

That is completely unfair. They didn't have Lynx back then.

Old Spice? Brut?

Ooooo, I know. Jazz.

Actually, Jazz? Totally the scent of several stripy shirts of my ...acquaintance.

What's amusing is the accuracy with which at least one of these descriptions fits at least one of Emma's exes.

That is completely unfair. They didn't have Lynx back then.

All men are totally up for it all the time... no?

now that Aviator sunglasses ... are no longer really acceptable in public

Oh noes! When did this happen? Why did noone tell me?

SPOOKY!

Hey, you missed "sensitive and understanding of women — willing to listen but still totally up for it if that's what you like."

And you know why? Cause I couldn't come up with an archetype for him. He was a bit more 'drinking organic wheatgrass and reading Foucault'.

I...you've been…

That was always my best thing. I suppose the dress code would be "not like those other guys that try and hit on you."