Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Absence of Malice

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  • andrew llewellyn,

    liked words, grammar, sentence topology, and the like, but analysing literature, not so much.

    Good grief man, you sound like a natural! ANyway, did you become a biologist?

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    UHU driver manual

    I find Gerglish so much clearer than Chinglish. However they should find a native English speaking translator or text consultant.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov,

    strap was a good laugh, I guess I was a little young for the cane.

    I'm interested, reading about all this rebellion here, how many people here, cheated on exams?

    Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Mar 2008 • 2281 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I'm interested, reading about all this rebellion here, how many people here, cheated on exams?

    Okay, I guess it's a fair question. Never, ever ever. Nor would I, nor would I tolerate that in my children.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    Ditto.

    Wagging is not cheating.


    Just remembered one other celebrated wagging, from 7th form. A Dutch exchange student was going back home so a bunch of us decided to go see her off at the airport.

    It was a Friday, we didn't ask permission of school or parents.

    They would have said no.

    The difficulties began when the other car driver (we had two carloads) backed his dad's Morris Maxi out of someone's driveway and wiped out the driver’s door. It became plain from that point we were going to have difficulties hiding this trip from parents, let alone teachers.

    Then we get to the airport and one of the teachers has also come to see the student off. In retrospect we should have seen this coming, since the teacher was a member of Rotary and had hosted the student for part of the stay. The teacher does not say anything, but glowers menacingly (and he was a good glowerer).

    We’d planned to go back to school that afternoon. But at this point we figure we're in a power of shit anyway so we might as well postpone the inevitable bollocking and take the rest of the day off.

    We zoomed around south Auckland trying to find, firstly, a car wreckers yard with a spare Morris Maxi driver’s door. Hopefully the same colour as the car.

    This is not a huge success.

    Not much with the other effort either, an amateur science project by the classes' three chemistry nerds. (Not me: I was the history nerd).

    They had decided it would be really cool to make napalm. They’d got together a list of the necessary ingredients, and had managed to accumulate almost all the necessary substances.

    One eluded them (I have no idea what it was). We stopped at numerous industrial supply places around the back of Onehunga and Penrose. Suspicious looks and refusals were all that were obtained.

    Now, this was winter 1981, a sad and paranoid time in our country’s history. A bunch of youths making inquires about explosive ingredients was going to attract a certain amount of attention. Fortunately I don’t think it got any further than a few stern inquiries by the Plods, but I do recall the Riot Act being well and truly read the following Monday.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    I'm interested, reading about all this rebellion here, how many people here, cheated on exams?

    At exams proper, never. Then again, we only had one exam at the end of three years of intermediate school, and another at the end of five years high school. Did I cheat during oral and written tests that went on all the time and contributed to the final grades of each trimester and year? Yes, all the time. I cheated, helped others cheat, often and ingeniously. But bear in mind, you needed to do that just to survive. And it was victimless - it was never done to get ahead.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Islander,

    I've never cheated in an exam, ever.
    But I have tiny spiky handwriting and I used to be able to write many many pages.. cruel & unusual treatment of innocent teachers I think.

    But we had come to an arrangement by the 4th form - as long as I came top in certain subjects (English, History, and General Science (&then Biology), those teachers would let me read (discreetly)in class...so I figure they must've actually read the exam papers...

    I reliably came near the bottom for Maths & French and dropped Social studies in the 4th form (the teacher was a bully and an oik.)

    It just never occurred to me to cheat: there was this order to exams, and why upset the apple cart?

    Big O, Mahitahi, Te Wahi … • Since Feb 2007 • 5643 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I'm interested, reading about all this rebellion here, how many people here, cheated on exams?

    I cheated once in a test in form two. I happened to catch a glimpse of my neighbour's paper. His answer was different to mine and I thought he know more about the subject than me so I changed my answer. Turns out my original answer was correct all along.

    That is the only time I have ever cheated on a test - the thought actually makes me feel mildly queasy. I have also never knowingly facilitated anyone else's cheating.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    OK that's odd - the previous post looks to me to be from Emma Hart but it's not because I just typed it and I'm not Emma I'm Isabel Hitchings.

    Any idea how that happened (or am I just going mental?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Dude, how are you doing that?

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Blowed if I know

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    Agent Emma appears to have launched her assimilation programme

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • mark taslov,

    assimilate! assimilate!

    Te Ika-a-Māui • Since Mar 2008 • 2281 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Resistance is futile.

    But fun.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Really? Because I usually have more fun when I give in.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • giovanni tiso,

    This is beginning to freak me out.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    You think you find this freaky?

    Everyone should probably be glad that I spent large chunks of today sitting in the sun turning my brain to gloop and therefore do not feel inclined to explore the potential for mayhem this situation could present.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Everyone should probably be glad that I spent large chunks of today sitting in the sun turning my brain to gloop and therefore do not feel inclined to explore the potential for mayhem this situation could present.

    Well I want massive props for not pretending to be Isabel pretending to be me saying things about me which, while they don't sound it, are actually true.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Wow it's been years since I spread a totally true rumour that no one believed.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Heather W.,

    So who is getting the post points? And is this the PAS collective or the Borg? Can anyone tell which Emma is Isabel?

    My school life gets summed up as didn't. Didn't wag - no point as am one of the invisibles so would have been marked as present anyway. Didn't do seventh form, nor university, didn't finish tech.

    Even detention was lame. Hadn't finished English homework so of course was asked to read it out in class. Got to point where writing ran out and just said "um" and continued 'reading' - friend of friend told. Got detention but teacher didn't put on detention list so when I turned up wasn't expected.

    North Shore • Since Nov 2008 • 189 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I just want to know who I am today...

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    I just want to know who I am today...

    Can I suggest that both versions of Emma log out and then log back in as themselves?

    I can't think of a way this could happen, but obviously, it'll be less amusing as it goes on.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22848 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    'doh I think I briefly forgot that logging out was an option *blushes*

    lets see if that's done it

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    lets see if that's done it

    Yay!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22848 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Can I suggest that both versions of Emma log out and then log back in as themselves?

    That's one of those sentences I never thought I'd hear.

    Still, nice to see Isabel back to being Isabel. I'm sure it's much less traumatic for both our partners that way.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

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