Southerly: The Truth About Talkback
74 Responses
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Jono,
Simply superb. Thanks for a fun start to the morning :-)
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Brilliant. Just brilliant.
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I've heard that most of the talk show hosts graduate from the Arkham technical institute...
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Of course, that hollow mirthless laugh employed by talkback hosts and their sycophants - "uh - uh - uh - uh - uh" - it's just a modified form of stridulation.
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Shoplifting Entomologist Explains: 'I Fought Giant Bug'.
I want that on a tshirt.
(We don't have Night 'n' Days in Auckland, do we?)
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La Cucaracha...
a veritable Kafkanated Koffee Klatch...
at last a viable explanation for the enablers of the chittering classes...
...and now I understand my instinctive revulsion at Mike Yardley, Mike Hosking and their ilk!
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He picked a Maybelline eyeliner from the drawer and stepped closer to the mirror. Shimmering Onyx. The perfect glossy black to distract attention from his compound eyes.
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Should I be disturbed that I know two writers - both called David - who have written stories about sex with insects? Uncanny, and deeply disturbing on many levels...
I'm prepared to believe two data points are a coincidence, but it makes me wonder what David Slack may have filed away...
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Click Lit... a new genera of fiction?
He picked a Maybelline eyeliner from the drawer and stepped closer to the mirror. Shimmering Onyx. The perfect glossy black to distract attention from his compound eyes....
...Michael Laws curls his antennae into stylish sideburns, winks into the mirror and hisses "it's show time!"...
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Ha, you had me going until the "public loves a politician" bit.
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Brilliant. He has my vote.
What? Oh -
Shades of Charles Stross?
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Glad this wee piece was able to provide some amusement and enlightenment.
I'd originally tried to submit it to the Journal of Insect Mimicry but they rejected it on the basis that it was already established knowledge (and, of course, that the article didn't contain enough sex with insects to interest their readership).
Sarah Wedde: oh yes, I should have mentioned the clever adaptation to disguise the compound eyes!
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I was cringing in anticipation of a Cronenberg-style denouement, and glad not to get it.
The remake of "The Fly" meets "And All The Seas With Oysters."
Well done, sir.
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Perfect screenplay for the intro to a new series.
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I liked this a lot! Very Will Self-ish (pun not intended.)
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I found myself standing at the drinks table beside her. It seemed courteous to introduce myself. "I work with Gavin Ramsay," I said.
Ahh - your first mistake. Having just re-watched Pride and Prejudice I'm led to believe etiquette requires that one should only ever be introduced by someone else =)
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Insects In Disguise: I have always been suspicious of Ear-wigs!
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Well Bug ger me.
Mike Flaws was the department's microscopist
"You mean Mr Perfect?"
"No, Flaws."My research is mainly on Hemideina ricta -- the Bank's Peninsula tree weta."
Shit....I lived in Little River for four years........he may have studied me.....
Since my release
Well David, at least YOU will have a piece of paper that says you are sane. More than the most of us I suspect.
"It's a Six!
Nah, 9.5. Lost half a point for speeding in a 50km zone. Sheez. Lucky it wasn't Ferry Road!!! Score so far for 2010 pursuits. Civilians 13 Police 0.
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The perfect plot for the 48 hr film thing those brilliant/mad folks do.
I have to wonder about how long the incubation period is, personally I suspect it's close to 9 years (or three terms).
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For identification purposes:
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When I first started reading that, I thought it was autobiographical. Obviously not. Pretty edge of the seat stuff!
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I've tried every possible approach in finding Marianne -- even to the extent of cashing in my superannuation account to hire private detectives.
Did they look in the Interzone?
And since it's Friday.
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Now this is just sensational. I salute you, sir.
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And since it's Friday.
Heh, I love that song. And now I have an extra vivid mental picture of 'mugwump jism', so... there's that.
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