Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Phar Lap and Me

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  • David Haywood,

    A very belated reply to the awe-inspiring comments on this thread. I have been prevented from my usual sneaks at PA by the HP Touch advert (with the hand) that freaks out Bob-the-Boy: "Where's the rest of the person, Daddy? [Lip trembling] I don't like this video! We have to watch something else now!"

    Stewart wrote:

    It was the Martha Longhurst part that did it for me.
    (old bloke with a long memory...)

    I'm so delighted that someone else remembers... I'm sure Martha would've been pleased, too.

    Likewise I was hugely entertained by the comments of Ian MacKay, Ian Dalziel and dyan campbell. And needless to say that I am always in awe of the mindboggling and limerickaliciously talented Philip Challinor.

    Ross Mason wrote:

    [RE: 'Leaving on a Jet Plane']

    I think is was probably more likely to be Jackson Brown's "Running on Empty".

    Good point! I was thinking of the fact that John Denver wrote 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' for Peter, Paul, and Mary -- er, probably a bit obscure in retrospect. Also very interesting that, as you point out, Martha Longhurst has accurately predicted the major policy goals of the current government. Spooky doesn't begin to describe it.

    Russell Brown wrote:

    I think a regular column of "Paula's Tips" would be very well received.

    An intriguing suggestion! I shall see what I can do...

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report

  • Lucy Stewart,

    I think a regular column of "Paula's Tips" would be very well received.

    We have one already, surely: Respect The Process.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report

  • Philip Challinor,

    needless to say that I am always in awe of the mindboggling and limerickaliciously talented Philip Challinor

    Statements like that are never needless.

    London, England • Since Sep 2009 • 52 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    Heyzeus!!!

    This IS Life imitating Hayward!!!!

    Oh Paula, how can they afford you? Maybe one should question her "home help" in the office.

    Saunders? Saunders? Are you there??

    There has to be a "Phar Lap and Me" sequel here . Surely!

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Rent a-Saunder...

    Saunders? Saunders? Are you there??

    interestingly the article was written by a Bennett too - but one wouldn't expect Paula to know him from Adam, either ...

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Bennett's press release about the matter is a masterpeice of self satire.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • giovanni tiso,

    Yes, Lyndon covered that rather beautifully I thought.

    Wellington • Since Jun 2007 • 7473 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Though he didn't have to go far - almost like Tina Fey with a certain Alaskan

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Sam F,

    Interesting day for the folks at WINZ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1611 posts Report

  • Philip Challinor,

    Ms Bennett and her horsey may soon be required to trample a few dreams in another hemisphere. All three losers of the British general election are blathering about the need for stable government.

    London, England • Since Sep 2009 • 52 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    All three losers of the British general election are blathering about the need for stable government.

    Well they have the Straw men for it...
    or were they talking about Animal Farm?
    3 legs, Good? Bad?

    Also if they want to bale the country out,
    it's no great shift from stable to stale, mate...
    ;- )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Ms Bennett and her horsey may soon be required to trample a few dreams in another hemisphere. All three losers of the British general election are blathering about the need for stable government.

    Mr Challinor, I admire you as a poet but I see you are unaware of the nature and status of Paula and Phar Lap.

    I refer you to the Way Back When pages of today's Sunday Star Times Magazine, where Paula describes how, unlike the other more tractable members of her family, she was able to ask the hard questions and make the frank statements.

    1. "Why are we going?"
    2. "Where are we going?"
    3. "What shoes shall I wear?"*
    4. "I don't want to go."
    5. "I'll only go if I can get an ice-cream on the way. I'm not happy about going to visit that aunt."

    I admire you as a Poet, and Mr. Haywood as a Scientist, but can any of you ask the hard, hard question:

    "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME??"

    Have either of you asked that question lately? No, I didn't think so. And that would be why you are neither super-heroes, nor are you friends with the famous Phar Lap. You will never be anything more than Poets, Scientists and other dreary things that don't inspire great things.

    Sometimes you people disappoint me and other times I can't be bothered wasting my time, mental energy and trouble thinking how much better Paula and I are that you. Before I think anything, I ask myself the hard questions:

    What's in it for me? Ice cream? Air time? A junket? A pony? Shoes?

    Nothing? Well, forget it then. I'm not going to waste energy thinking if I don't have to.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Seeing as how there was really no "free-for-all-friday" blog I'll slip these in here - especially as they (kinda) relate to what Phillip was saying and because they are so quintessentially British...

    enjoy:

    Ms Bennett and her horsey...

    immortalised:

    the need for stable government

    Farmer Brown and friends:

    ps : don't forget the Monty Python Documentary
    on Prime tonight after Doctor Who

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    You will never be anything more than Poets, Scientists and other dreary things that don't inspire great things.

    Quite right. I'm so f*%king bored.

    And Poets

    But: Scyence and Inginears

    And dreary things And how to spice it up a bit

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • David Haywood,

    dyan campbell wrote:

    "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME??"
    Have either of you asked that question lately? No, I didn't think so. And that would be why you are neither super-heroes, nor are you friends with the famous Phar Lap. You will never be anything more than Poets, Scientists and other dreary things that don't inspire great things.

    This is a deeply insightful observation, Dyan -- comparable, I think, with the work of the great philosophers at the peak of their powers. In future, when people ask me "whatever happened the René Descartes of yesteryear?" and similar such questions, I shall simply direct them to Auckland, Dyan Campbell's house.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    This is a deeply insightful observation, Dyan -- comparable, I think, with the work of the great philosophers at the peak of their powers.

    Oh, why thank you Prof Haywood, but I must defer to my greater hero, Paula Bennet. When she, as a tiny child was holding her family's outings to ransom until her demands for ice cream were met, I was merely wailing

    "I don't feel like it."

    My Mum, who was unable to see greatness, would respond with some dreary-horizon limiting thing like

    "How we feel is beside the point, as you are not the only creature in the universe with feelings. It's how we behave that matters."

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • andin,

    but I must defer to my greater hero, Paula Bennet.

    Oh I get it now ..your playing Devils Advocate.
    Very funny... I ......think.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    Oh I get it now ..your playing Devils Advocate.
    Very funny... I ......think.

    Oh yes, all very hilarious until one of us winds up possessed by the spirit of Ayn Rand, Margaret Thatcher or Marie Antoinette.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • andin,

    So I take it you are serious?
    I cant for the life of me figure out what you think those 3 women have in common.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

  • dyan campbell,

    So I take it you are serious?
    I cant for the life of me figure out what you think those 3 women have in common.

    Andin, if you take this for a serious discourse you need to get out more. This is satire.

    Those 3 women have in common a reputation for being unable to tell the difference between a social contract, a social construct and opportunism.

    auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 595 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    I was going to say "cake" - metaphorically speaking, of course

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • andin,

    Just like Paula Bennett.

    a reputation for being unable to tell the difference between a social contract, a social construct and opportunism.

    Thanks for the social advice, I'd rather stay at home.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

  • Ian Dalziel,

    Heady spirits indeed...

    Oh yes, all very hilarious until one of us winds up possessed by the spirit of Ayn Rand, Margaret Thatcher or Marie Antoinette....
    ...I cant for the life of me figure out what you think those 3 women have in common.

    I know, I know, ask me...
    Ayn Rand - The Fountainhead
    (the architect of objectivism & book of the private I)
    Margaret Thatcher - Head of State
    (here come the War jets and the surge to privatise)
    Marie Antoinette - another Fountain Head!
    (from head of state to head-off state
    - the guillotine...)

    too loose?

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7953 posts Report

  • andin,

    too loose?

    You better asrk dyan. I'm just a home body.

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

  • andin,

    This is satire.

    Always wondered what a satire duel looked like.
    Now I know, and would never engage in one.
    The duo of Haywood and Hart are just too good.
    Us lesser mortals need to put *satire* tags around our bumbling attempts.

    Wanders off to domestic duties making mental list of other great take down duo's.
    Cook & Moore
    thinking.....thinking.......

    raglan • Since Mar 2007 • 1891 posts Report

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