Hard News: The Commercial Crunch
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I'm crap at haiku, but limericks.....
There was a young fellow named Stacey
Who you had to support just in case he
Chipped over the line
And gathered in time
To give it to someone more pacey -
Stacey holds the ball
Guess Grand Final time is here
Kiwi spring blossoms -
You guys crack me up.
Where’s the bit when Stacey is
Walking on water? -
Are we allowed to cheer from the sidelines? Stuart, that was just grand.
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Hmmm! Advertising--that great mix of pseudo science and 'orrible hucksterism. One question I have always wanted to ask an adman: when TVCs make the claim '30% larger' or "13 % percent longer" or 'new and improved"--effing larger or longer or newer than what???
The one that gets me is "Fresh" , everything should be fresh when it's packed. Perhaps someone will come up with a label where the word "Fresh" dissapears after a day or two.
Ooh, I just did. Dibs on that invention. :-) -
..and then there is "natural".
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Steve,
There is already a fruit ripeness label that changes colour so "Fresh" disappearing label should be a possibility.
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And then there is tadaaaa ORGANIC
Yes folks, 4-Phenyl-4-(1-piperidinyl)-cyclohexanol, also known as PPC, is an organic chemical which is often found as a metabolite of phencyclidine (PCP). It has been shown to cause increases in Locomotor activity in lab mice.
or
benzoylmethyl ecgonine, is a crystalline tropane alkaloid that is obtained from the leaves of the coca plant.[5] The name comes from "coca" in addition to the alkaloid suffix -ine, forming cocaine.
or
Methyl isocyanate (MIC) is an organic compound It is extremely toxic. The threshold limit value set by the American Conference on Government Industrial Hygienist was 0.02 ppm which is an extremely low concentration. MIC can damage by inhalation, ingestion and contact in quantities as low as 0.4 ppm.
So good for you eh? -
Yup, nothing like that natural arsenic to give a healthy glow, or if you want doubleplusgood - natural, organic hemlock, as recommended by Socrates.
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The Jones family has a great spot up in Doubtless Bay.
I once watched a pod of dolphins playing there in the dawn light while surf-casting with my father.
If I were Stacey I'd be there instead...Tokerau beckons
Yet, a habit he can't kick;
Fish win, Broncos lose. -
Perhaps someone will come up with a label where the word "Fresh" disappears after a day or two.
Ahem, beer.
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Ahem, beer.
Love it. The resurgence of Lad Culture - I'm especially charmed by this:
At least I've finally found a use for my chemical engineering background".
can't he find a job in military research or pharma development?? What Aussies do with their brains....
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There was a young fellow named Stacey
Who you had to support just in case he
Chipped over the line
And gathered in time
To give it to someone more paceyNow that takes true talent. Haiku, in yo' face!
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Stuart Coats' limerick has been deemed the winner. I've emailed him to see what he wants to do with the Warriors pass (he's in Wellington) -- anyone who knows him should feel free to give him a call, because I need to action this quickly.
There were also runners-up: Simon Poole and Ken Davies. I'm trying to get some kind of prizey thing for you guys too.
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I feel like a fraud, as I only did the limerick because I'm no good at haiku. But I will accept the tickets. I have a lifelong Warriors fan friend who will gladly go to the game on my behalf.
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Likewise, I never expected to win (and if I did, would have donated the tickets to a friend in Auckland, kudos to you Stuart) but if anything does come up as a runner up, I will graciously accept as my pregnant partner has been demanding baubles.
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It was a fix. Russell likes league. Poof.
;-)
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