Public Address | Cafe | Hard News: The Commercial Crunch

Steve Barnes

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:31:38 +1300

It was a fix. Russell likes league. Poof.
;-)

Simon Poole

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:44:27 +1300

Likewise, I never expected to win (and if I did, would have donated the tickets to a friend in Auckland, kudos to you Stuart) but if anything does come up as a runner up, I will graciously accept as my pregnant partner has been demanding baubles.

Stuart Coats

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:21:05 +1300

I feel like a fraud, as I only did the limerick because I'm no good at haiku. But I will accept the tickets. I have a lifelong Warriors fan friend who will gladly go to the game on my behalf.

Russell Brown

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:00:28 +1300

Stuart Coats' limerick has been deemed the winner. I've emailed him to see what he wants to do with the Warriors pass (he's in Wellington) — anyone who knows him should feel free to give him a call, because I need to action this quickly.

There were also runners-up: Simon…

Kyle Matthews

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 10:34:42 +1300

There was a young fellow named Stacey
Who you had to support just in case he
Chipped over the line
And gathered in time
To give it to someone more pacey

Now that takes true talent. Haiku, in yo' face!

Kerry Weston

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 07:53:18 +1300

Ahem, beer.

Love it. The resurgence of Lad Culture – I'm especially charmed by this:

At least I've finally found a use for my chemical engineering background".

can't he find a job in military research or pharma development?? What Aussies do with their brains....

Sacha

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:27:54 +1300

Perhaps someone will come up with a label where the word "Fresh" disappears after a day or two.

Ahem, beer.

Garth Bray

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:06:36 +1300

The Jones family has a great spot up in Doubtless Bay.
I once watched a pod of dolphins playing there in the dawn light while surf-casting with my father.
If I were Stacey I'd be there instead...

Tokerau beckons
Yet, a habit he can't kick;
Fish win, Broncos lose.

Jeremy Andrew

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:04:58 +1300

Yup, nothing like that natural arsenic to give a healthy glow, or if you want doubleplusgood – natural, organic hemlock, as recommended by Socrates.

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:00:30 +1300

And then there is tadaaaa ORGANIC
Yes folks, 4-Phenyl-4-(1-piperidinyl)-cyclohexanol, also known as PPC, is an organic chemical which is often found as a metabolite of phencyclidine (PCP). It has been shown to cause increases in Locomotor activity in lab mice.
or
benzoylmethyl ecgonine, is a crystalline tropane alkaloid that is…

Heather W.

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:56:29 +1300

Steve,

There is already a fruit ripeness label that changes colour so "Fresh" disappearing label should be a possibility.

Geoff Lealand

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 20:33:42 +1300

..and then there is "natural".

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:18:43 +1300

Hmmm! Advertising--that great mix of pseudo science and 'orrible hucksterism. One question I have always wanted to ask an adman: when TVCs make the claim '30% larger' or "13 % percent longer" or 'new and improved"--effing larger or longer or newer than what???

The one that gets me is "Fresh"…

giovanni tiso

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 19:00:40 +1300

Are we allowed to cheer from the sidelines? Stuart, that was just grand.

LegBreak

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:50:23 +1300

You guys crack me up.
Where’s the bit when Stacey is
Walking on water?

Brett Larsen

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:28:19 +1300

Stacey holds the ball
Guess Grand Final time is here
Kiwi spring blossoms

Stuart Coats

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:04:21 +1300

I'm crap at haiku, but limericks.....

There was a young fellow named Stacey
Who you had to support just in case he
Chipped over the line
And gathered in time
To give it to someone more pacey

Rob Nixon

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 16:26:32 +1300

Little General
Thanks to haiku has become
Ninja Warrior

Geoff Lealand

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:56:53 +1300

Hmmm! Advertising--that great mix of pseudo science and 'orrible hucksterism. One question I have always wanted to ask an adman: when TVCs make the claim '30% larger' or "13 % percent longer" or 'new and improved"--effing larger or longer or newer than what???

Richard Clemo

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:53:29 +1300

New mascot: Stacy
New strategy: chip and chase
Warriors of old!

mark taslov

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:02:45 +1300

Iguess it depends on your iccent ;-)

haha!

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:53:33 +1300

(and shouldn't lines 3 and 4 rhyme?)

Iguess it depends on your iccent ;-)

Kyle Matthews

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:46:05 +1300

Who made a living by breaking his bones

'Rugby League – the craft that he hones' surely?

(and shouldn't lines 3 and 4 rhyme?)

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:38:24 +1300

Irish Haiku. fnahh.

There was a young man named Jones,
Who made a living by breaking his bones
He juggled with balls
With a bunch of big tools
What a peculiar way to sell Phones.

Neil Graham

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:35:24 +1300

One thing I have always wondered about television advertising was if they have a metric that works like banner ads where it gets broken down to the cost of one-person one-view.

There are two reasons for this, There were some ads a few years ago. they seemed to be a…

Peter Calder

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:28:47 +1300

These four entries are not my work but I submit them on behalf of a rugby-league-mad mate who writes the old fashioned-way, with an HB pencil on a piece of paper. His name is Tom.

Time lord Stacy Jones

chips, gathers, throws a dummy

juggles time and space

Step, kick,…

stephen walker

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:20:07 +1300

Jones. Incandescent
Manly. Beach not adjective
Stacy. Brisbane weeps

Robyn Gallagher

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:02:58 +1300

WINNER!

Flattered as I am, I must take myself out of the running as the tickets should go to someone who is hot 4 teh leaguez.

Heh.

Geoff Lealand

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:52:28 +1300

Stacy Jones? Oh, her –
she was in my class at school.
Wait, that's someone else.
WINNER!

I second that!

To continue this oblique theme:

Gavin and Stacey?
A different relationship
I think.

Tony Kennedy

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:52:16 +1300

I'll take limericks.

Ah – the Irish haiku

Russell Brown

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:47:40 +1300

(I refuse to haiku)

I'll take limericks.

ken davies

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:40:54 +1300

Plays Seven, smaller than most
but he casts a shadow
Taller than the goal posts

Kyle Matthews

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:35:58 +1300

One kick and collect
And one regulation bomb
Look at all the praise

(I refuse to haiku)

You're forgetting the one that Fien whoopsied.

And that dummy. He sold that twice over it was so good.

Ben Gracewood

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:33:28 +1300

Stacy Jones? Oh, her –
she was in my class at school.
Wait, that's someone else.

WINNER!

Jeremy Eade

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:28:32 +1300

One kick and collect
And one regulation bomb
Look at all the praise

No, that shits not easy.

Conor Roberts

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:18:09 +1300

One kick and collect
And one regulation bomb
Look at all the praise

Lol. But you're not going to win.

Robyn Gallagher

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:16:31 +1300

Stacy Jones? Oh, her –
she was in my class at school.
Wait, that's someone else.

Simon Poole

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:16:20 +1300

How long until this
Becomes a meme? Stacey in
Haiku, immortal.

LegBreak

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:10:13 +1300

One kick and collect
And one regulation bomb
Look at all the praise

Mikaere Curtis

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:08:28 +1300

An early winter
Shall chill Australian hearts
The Jonesman is back

simon g

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:06:48 +1300

Stacey campaigned for
Helen. Quit. After three years
A stunning comeback.

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:02:36 +1300

I'm not sure that was quite the result they were after ...

Unfortunately downloading would only serve to increase the popularity, or at least public awareness, of the artist/producer of the offending work and in doing so, would increase CD sales :-(

Conor Roberts

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:00:52 +1300

Japanese haiku
does not have enough morae
for his genius.

Geoff Lealand

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:53:40 +1300

The Little General
Not a good description
Better, The Giant Killer

Sounds a bit feeble, I know. I could more easily sing the praise of Siti, Richard, Mils, Sione, Brendan, Stephen, Leila, Alan, Callum etc etc

simon g

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:52:56 +1300

"I've declared myself
the winner of one of those
passes." Go Upstairs!

Russell Brown

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:50:03 +1300

I urge all readers to download all the music they can, especially crap like this, so as to deprive the criminals that create this kind of poop any form of livelihood in order that they starve to an excruciatingly painful death.

I'm not sure that was quite the result they…

Steve Barnes

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:43:23 +1300

Oh Russell. After following the link to Right Music Wrongs and listening to The Fast Food Rockers, I feel quite queasy. Following in the footsteps of such classics as "the Macarana" "The Chicken Song" "the Crazy Frog" anything by "The Spice Girls" and numerous pieces of contrived crap…

Jeremy Eade

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:38:12 +1300

Five Foot Seven Tall
Eighty Two Kilos Heavy
A Huge Southern Soul

Conor Roberts

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:37:48 +1300

Not strictly correct, but...

Conor Roberts

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:33:11 +1300

It’s a long season,
or kigo, in Japanese.
Don’t burn out Stacey.

linger

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:16:36 +1300

And in news from Tokyo:

Cherries blossoming.
Cameras flash, crowds mill. Tranquil?
Not blooming likely.

David Slack

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:05:37 +1300

This may be the wrong time to point out that traditional haiku should have some reference to the seasons.

Stacey Jones is hot.
We all know why this is so.
It is still summer.

Contest should have asked
Us for Terzain Apora
Do not need prize thanks

Ian Fish

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 12:01:33 +1300

Large Australians
Stand round imitating statues
Watching the Jones boy

JackElder

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:59:18 +1300

running, the player
passes through the defence like
trees in autumn winds.

Not interested in the prize, just like haiku. Went through a big phase of writing them when I was a student, now I try to slip them into my weekly status reports (makes getting the seasonal references harder,…

Simon Poole

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:37:12 +1300

Little General
Napoleon he is not,
Actually wins.

elsketcho

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:35:07 +1300

Stacey Jones, little
but in general,
he owns!

Darel Hall

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:28:39 +1300

Old men dream of youth
One lives to pass glory on
This blossom buds yet

Ben Gracewood

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:19:27 +1300

Patton has nothing
On our little general
Nuggety bugger

giovanni tiso

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:17:11 +1300

I was under the impression that they sold not just sponsorship rights, but also (sadly) their name, to Vodafone.

I think they should be allowed to do that, so long as for one game of the season they're prepared to field the Vodafone board of directors versus, say, Manly.

Knowledge Bro

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:15:19 +1300

Stacy Jones, I think
Drives a steam Locomotive,
Or was that Casey?

Kyle Matthews

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:10:55 +1300

This may be the wrong time to point out that traditional haiku should have some reference to the seasons.

Traditional haiku are written about rugby league players?

Russell Brown

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:08:30 +1300

This may be the wrong time to point out that traditional haiku should have some reference to the seasons.

Not at all. The span from the first game to the final is, I believe, known as "the NRL season".

JackElder

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:02:44 +1300

This may be the wrong time to point out that traditional haiku should have some reference to the seasons.

dc_red

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:01:05 +1300

Can anyone confirm the official name of the Auckland-based NRL franchise known as the "Warriors"?

I was under the impression that they sold not just sponsorship rights, but also (sadly) their name, to Vodafone.

Which led to their third name in about 10 years: from the Auckland Warriors to the…

LegBreak

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:57:10 +1300

Old Man Stacey Jones
Plays a full 50 minutes
And a nation melts.

Hadyn Green

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:39:19 +1300

Later in the show, we'll also look to get something new out of the Auckland v Wellington culture debate with Tommy Honey and Simon Prast.

Shouldn't the debate be held in a neutral venue?

Oh and I don't want to be considered for entry but:

Short in his stature
Mighty,…

Rickai

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:16:01 +1300

thirty two years young
on a hot Brookvale Oval
Brent ... Manu ... perfect

Public Address

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 10:16:01 +1300

Discussion from blog post.