Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Any excuse for a party

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  • Robyn Gallagher,

    So, around the time of Charles and Di's wedding, there was a novelty song called "Charlie's Getting Married at Last" by a group called the Men of Harlech. Its chorus went:

    Charlie's getting married at last
    To a pretty girl without a past
    Her Majesty's so happy
    The Duke's a happy chappy
    'Cause Charlie's getting married at last

    That's right, a pop song celebrating Diana's virginity. How utterly vile. From memory, it made it to the top of the charts in New Zealand :-(

    This time around, there's nothing like that in the charts, but there's something even better online. The fabulous, extravagant MajelaZeZeDiamond, YouTube queen of dancehall songs about vaginas, has written a song with the chorus "Kate Middleton, she's a prostitute; she's a harlot." She also implores the prince to choose her vagina over his bride's.

    Most likely NSFW, so perhaps save this one for the later hours of your royal wedding shindigs.

    Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle, in reply to Sacha,

    hours of turgid dress-ogling

    I think it must now be noted that we are very different people, Sacha. :)

    On the other hand:

    The more I see of "ew, god, how could you" the more I want to get out all my grandmother's coronation badges and drink some fucking Pimms.

    I think Emma and I might be the same person.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    Please, please reassure me that there will be other people here NOT watching. Just when I thought PAS might be a royal wedding-free zone

    Before a couple of days ago, Geoff, I would have sworn up and down that I wouldn't be watching it. But I have a dinner engagement this evening, and my dearest bestie tells me that we should have dinner early, and then retire to her place to eat chocolate cake and watch the wedding. This may prove to be like her "let's go nightclubbing" exhortations of a few years ago (when we actually did go, but at 10pm and no-one else was to be seen. She never exhorted again. ) but then again, she might be serious.
    I'm not fussed either way, really. To watch or not to watch, it doesn't worry me. I know people who are, as Russell plans to do, having a Curry and Beer Wedding Watching Party. (Scarily, they also live in the Chev.) And others who eschew it. I will be pleased if they can have a happy life together.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Fooman, in reply to Rich of Observationz,

    . But the various palaces and land (5000 acres of Windsor Great Park for instance, worth perhaps GBP10bln) are clearly the property of the UK taxpayer, and should either revert or be paid for.

    And checking the crown estate website, it is part of their 6.6 billion pound asset list, and therefore income generated by Windsor Great Park is returned to the UK government. Whether the UK taxpayer gets any advantage from this is another matter...other than the free access and maintenance of the park that they appear to get...

    FM

    FM

    Lower Hutt • Since Dec 2009 • 87 posts Report Reply

  • Neil Graham,

    To the kitsch I add this work of genius.

    http://guandongenterprisesltd.com/

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 118 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Danielle,

    we are very different people

    still top intellectual nerds, but

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock, in reply to Geoff Lealand,

    Please, please reassure me that there will be other people here NOT watching. Just when I thought PAS might be a royal wedding-free zone.

    Oh God, they got Russell! And Ben!

    We must stay awake, Geoff! Whatever you do, don't fall asleep! Don't fall asleep! They're here already! You're next! You're next!

    Ahem...

    It's actually quite refreshing to see that on PAS, the indifference/hysteria split is not as sharply split along gender lines as it seems to be in the rest of Auckland, if random workplace conversations are anything to go by.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Lilith __, in reply to Neil Graham,

    To the kitsch I add this work of genius.

    http://guandongenterprisesltd.com/</q>

    Ummm...isn't that Harry?

    Dunedin • Since Jul 2010 • 3895 posts Report Reply

  • Pete Sime,

    I agree that NZ's destiny lies with becoming a republic, but it will be a headache to get there. Do we just cross out the words "Governor-General" on everything and replace them with the word "President"? Do we directly elect the president? What would be his or her powers? At present technically the G-G appoints the PM and Ministers, what happens if the president wants to pick the cabinet without the advice of the coalition that commands a parliamentary majority? What about the Treaty?

    Anyway, I'm far more interested in the Highlanders-Blues game tonight.

    Dunedin • Since Apr 2008 • 171 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin, in reply to Craig Ranapia,

    I see a rather interesting argument that the British Government and the Windsors owes the Catholic Church compensation (and 465 years of interest) for goods and property alienated (or destroyed) during the Dissolution of the Monasteries.

    They got compensated in children.

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

  • Jacqui Craig,

    I didn't really have much of desire to attend a party until I came across Boden's Royal Wedding bingo cards - I might play for myself and the cat tonight.

    http://digitalcatalogue.bodenusa.com/1Y4d95f477ea437012.cde

    Auckland • Since Apr 2007 • 28 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Grigg, in reply to Russell Brown,

    This isn't an argument for keeping the monarchy in Britain, just noting that the public investment in running it is relatively modest when you take into account the commercial return

    That £37m is just the civil list.

    The Guardian did a wider analysis a few years back - which I can't find - and came up with a figure of around £150m in costs once ancillary expenditure is added - the likes of royal transport, security costs hidden in other budgets, lost revenues from land and the like.

    I note that the BBC story also includes revenues from the likes of the Victoria and Albert & National Maritime Museums which is a bit of a stretch. I've been to the V&A at least a dozen times - not once did Prince Charlie drive me through the door.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report Reply

  • Jean Hughes,

    well we are having a wee party with fish n chips, eaton mess and pimms and I am really really excited about it all . Watching it live via UKTV (naturally) and commenting on frocks, jocks and shocks is perfect for a Friday nights entertainement.
    I am not a royalist but love a party, and watching mad Englishmen (and women) out in the midday sun really promises to be one of the better TV reality shows on this year.
    A perfect distraction after all the yellow peril this week

    Mangere • Since Nov 2006 • 89 posts Report Reply

  • Andre Alessi, in reply to Robyn Gallagher,

    The fabulous, extravagant MajelaZeZeDiamond, YouTube queen of dancehall songs about vaginas,

    Of "Girls, Come And See My Vagina?" fame?

    Edit: It appears not, although I don't know whether that makes anything better:

    Also this is now a Friday music thread!

    Devonport, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 864 posts Report Reply

  • Simon Grigg, in reply to BenWilson,

    Ooooo hard one. I doubt a King would be into selling off the family silver, that's what makes him King.

    There was a great Larry King some years back - he had the Duke of Kent on and was clearly suffering from the sort of royal awe only Americans can ascend to.

    After welcoming him as Your Dookness, the Queen's cousin immediately launched into an extended pitch for Royal souvenir cutlery, plates and cups, complete with a 1-800 number which the aristocrat repeated over and over again.

    Larry, with, I imagine, producer going nuts in his earpiece, kept on trying to divert conversation to things more seemly, but selling replicas of the family silver was what the Duke was there for and he wasn't going to be sidetracked.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Emma Hart,

    The more I see of "ew, god, how could you" the more I want to get out all my grandmother's coronation badges and drink some fucking Pimms.

    It's okay! I'll throw myself in front of you so it's me that gets totally judged and not you. Just keep running.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Idiot Savant, in reply to Russell Brown,

    It’s not a projection. A VisitBritain study found that tourists spent more than £500 million visiting attractions associated with the British monarchy and its history in 2009. There were nearly a million visits to Windsor Castle alone. I don’t think there’s any doubt that royal tourism is a major earner for Britain.

    Of course, the UK would get that money anyway even if it didn't pay the Windsors - they'd still be there, after all. Arguably, it would even still get that money if it striped them of any constitutional role and reduced them to the status of ordinary citizens. Its not as if history and castles and fools thinking peasantry is romantic disappear simply because you pass a law.

    Palmerston North • Since Nov 2006 • 1717 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Hum... I see a rather interesting argument that the British Government and the Windsors owes the Catholic Church compensation (and 465 years of interest) for goods and property alienated (or destroyed) during the Dissolution of the Monasteries.

    Yeah, but then someone's going to start pointing out some of the interesting places that the Catholic church got it's wealth from and that's not always pretty either.

    I don't mind the TV tonight. It's a significant event, big coverage, though I don't think I'll watch much of it. Highlanders vs Blues could be a rockin' good game and the Breakers game last week got crazily incredible after 37 minutes of being shit.

    It's the coverage every night on the news for the last two weeks and in the papers. Truly awful journalism, if it can even be called that.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    the Treaty is a deal with the Crown

    This is a common idea and one that is totally wrong, in the sense of the "crown" being the British Royal Family.

    The "crown" in this case, as in others, is simply shorthand for the state. New Zealand has never been a personal colony of the Windsors (after the fashion of the Congo Free State. In 1840, Britain was a constitutional monarchy, and Hobson was the delegate of the British government. Treaties pass to succssor states, and thus as Britain and NZ slowly disentangled, the "crown" party to the treaty has become the government and people of NZ.

    So NZ's transition to a republic will have no effect on the Treaty - it will remain binding on the state of New Zealand, as it has been since 1947* and before.

    * NZ accession to the Statute of Westminster, which removed the last legal vestiges of suzerainty between the UK and NZ.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    I agree that NZ's destiny lies with becoming a republic, but it will be a headache to get there. Do we just cross out the words "Governor-General" on everything and replace them with the word "President"? Do we directly elect the president? What would be his or her powers? At present technically the G-G appoints the PM and Ministers, what happens if the president wants to pick the cabinet without the advice of the coalition that commands a parliamentary majority? What about the Treaty?

    One option would be simply designate the PM head of state (similar to South Africa, where the President is the leader of the parliamentary majority).

    All the actions taken by the "Governor General on the advice of ministers" would simply be taken by ministers. Umpiring the appointment of governments could be left to e.g. a senior judge, a senior civil servant and the Speaker. Acts of parliament would enter office after their final reading. Entertaining of dignitaries would be done by the PM, foreign minister, or a retired rugby player, as appropriate.

    (The other common alternative is to elect a President with identical powers to the G-G. Superficially attractive, but leaves open the possibility of an elected president choosing to claim a mandate for constitutional shenanigans).

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • James Butler, in reply to Idiot Savant,

    fools thinking peasantry is romantic

    [me not mentioning LARP :-)]

    Auckland • Since Jan 2009 • 856 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    ..b.y a group called the Men of Harlech. Its chorus went:

    Charlie's getting married at last
    To a pretty girl without a past

    Modified, at my school, to 'Charlie's got his end away at last...'

    Which showed a certain crude naievete, I suppose.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • webweaver,

    I shan’t be watching any of it because I just.don’t.care.

    When I became a Kiwi citizen we all had to swear allegiance to the Queen as part of the oath you take – which amused me hugely, as I’d not had to do that before – being born in England they kind of take that bit as read I suppose :)

    I mumbletymumbled my way through through the swearing allegiance bit so I didn’t actually have to say it.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 332 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Did the chana gosht from whole spices, the butter chicken from a paste (+ ground cashews). The aloo gobi smells fantastic. Got to fry a bunch of paneer soon.

    Khyber Spice has great samosa for $1.50 each and big naans, 4 for $3/50. Also, a gloriously intimidating-looking garlic pickle and a premix for the muttar paneer sauce.

    Had to go to K Road for barfi, dammit. But wedding proceeding well overall.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Kyle Matthews,

    It's the coverage every night on the news for the last two weeks and in the papers. Truly awful journalism, if it can even be called that.

    Wouldn't know. Didn't watch it. Alex Jones was funny though.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

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