Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: How you wear it

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  • Yalnikim,

    Good call. It's not the size of your horseshoe but the detail of your Dali.
    I've never grown a moustache, only beards, and I don't intend to this year - I just hope Ocsober (no drinking in October) doesn't take off 'round these parts.

    Wellington • Since Sep 2009 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Tch. Grow a beard, part-timers. I haven't seen my chin for sixteen years - the other week I found a mole that I'd completely forgotten about.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    Tch. Grow a beard, part-timers.

    Beards are easy, I usually have one myself. But moustaches are artistry.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    last time I started a moustache I spotted a grey hair on day five. The whole lot came off pronto!

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report Reply

  • Keir Leslie,

    Since Jul 2008 • 1452 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    Beards are easy, I usually have one myself. But moustaches are artistry.

    True. One of the reasons I have a beard is that it's one less thing to worry about each morning. There's a passage in Mil Millington's book Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About where he comments that a particular character has such carefully and minutely groomed facial hair that it's obvious that he doesn't have children. You can't spend ten minutes each morning carefully shaving your sideburns to points if you've got preschoolers kicking you in the ankles.

    I'll confess to bemusement with the modern-day chap revival. Then again, I didn't see much of the point of the cocktail revival either, so I'm probably not particularly the target demographic.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Richard Irvine,

    Sorry, but moustaches are frickin nasty, and my sole Movember effort turned my face into a brown, grey and red, not to mention itchy, mess. Never again. One November spawned a monster indeed.

    While I respect the right of any 80s NZ cricketer to wear one, they are not for me.

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 242 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Ackroyd,

    There was a chap I used to see round town with a handlebar one side of his face and nothing on the other. Like half a Sam Broad. Quite peculiar.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 159 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    (if you can stand it, as it were.)

    Ah! I knew I had forgotten a link!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    As a lady, I am firmly of the opinion that moustaches are only permitable if they exist only to increase the sensation delivered to my lady parts. Aesthetically, they have no place in 2010!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    Dangerous ground Joanna! I am not sure that a women is wise to comment on the subject on male facial hair, unless invited to do so...

    Hmmmm.... Actually now I've had my morning triple expresso I am thinking we need to get back to the days when we blokes were too busy taking God to the natives on the frontier to worry about shaving or what the ladies think. If we all went back to those fantastic moustaches, proudly heursuite mutton chops or vast, well-tended beards resting on large, self-satisfied tummys seen in the sepia photos from the salad days of male yore, what choice would the girlies have but Hobson's one?

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    what choice would the girlies have but Hobson's one?

    Perhaps the one that good old queen vicky refused to believe existed?

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    The one time I "did" Movember I had three different guys say "come on mate, it's not meant to look good". I wasn't doing anything remarkable, but because it wasn't comedy horseshoe I was some kinda poofta...

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    Perhaps the one that good old queen vicky refused to believe existed?

    I was talking to another Vicky about this option the other night, and she opined that while she gave it a shot just to see, nothing beats us blokes, hairy or otherwise.

    So we are reasonably safe to assume that if we become all bewiskered and hold out long enough, they'll be back. Just be staunch, praise the Lord and pass the hair tonic.

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    makes me look like the sort of gentleman who has a wardrobe full of Megadeth t-shirts

    You say this like it's a bad thing.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    pass the hair tonic.

    does it have bromide in it?

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    A coworker of mine has a long, curled moustache - as in, it goes out sideways from his lips and then curls up and back in, with a diameter of around 1". The secret is a reasonable degree of wax, I'm told. For Wellingtonians, that barber up Featherston St sells such supplies.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Dangerous ground Joanna! I am not sure that a women is wise to comment on the subject on male facial hair, unless invited to do so...

    Ok, then. Can I just say though, that 'moustachioed' is one of the cooler words in the English language.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Naly D,

    As a lady, I am firmly of the opinion that moustaches are only permitable if they exist only to increase the sensation delivered to my lady parts. Aesthetically, they have no place in 2010!

    I refuse to have my laziness and economic protest at the price of razors be objectified as a sex toy!

    Wellington • Since Sep 2008 • 307 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    I had a facial eponym for many years, and have only been clean-shaven since the beginning of this year. While I'm enjoying the fact that it makes me look younger, there is something about well-sculpted facial furniture that can help define and strengthen one's features quite admirably.

    In addition, while received wisdom has it that beards are anathema to the fairer sex, my current lover has encouraged me to go back to my former hirsuteness. There is an interesting trend among some of the younger generation of women to be attracted to hairy hipster boys, and while one might not think that that attraction would transfer to gentlemen of advancing years, I have been quite pleasantly surprised.

    While I generally maintain a smooth visage, my overachieving follicles enable me to grow a half-decent moustache within a week or two when required, enough to attain a touch of David Niven's dash or even some Terry-Thomas advanced caddery. Beyond that, I struggle to achieve Daliesque flair or indeed anything that would benefit from the added strength of wax. Admirers of fine upper-lip topiary really should not go past "Atters" Attree and his Ministry of Moustaches, though I wish he would put as much effort into web design as he does into tailoring and whiskerage.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    I have been quite pleasantly surprised.

    I'm not. A lot of women like their men, well, manly and nothing says "man" like facial hair.

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    I'm not. A lot of women like their men, well, manly and nothing says "man" like facial hair.

    Like good facial hair. There are few things as cringe-inducing as the bum-fluff moustache grown at age 18 in an attempt to look more mature.

    One of the things I like about movember is that you can really see the difference in how fast people's facial hair grows. I've seen people go from clean-shaven on Nov 1st to a full Lemmy tribute moustache at the end of the first week - it's an astonishing sight. I've also seen someone get three weeks in and then shave out of depression as we'd only just realised that he was doing movember (blond moustache, slow growth, it was hard to see).

    My mo is a bit unruly and wouldn't really benefit from sculpting. I know it's time to clip my beard back a bit when it's long enough to be getting in my soup.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 708 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I've also seen someone get three weeks in and then shave out of depression as we'd only just realised that he was doing movember (blond moustache, slow growth, it was hard to see).

    That's all me. It has the great side effect of only having to shave weekly. I can skip Movember as a good trade.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    A coworker of mine has a long, curled moustache - as in, it goes out sideways from his lips and then curls up and back in, with a diameter of around 1".

    That is an actual handlebar moustache.

    For Wellingtonians, that barber up Featherston St sells such supplies.

    I was standing outside that shop about an hour ago and noticed their sign said "Gentlemans Destination". I thought that no well-heeled gentleman would set foot in a shop with such bad punctuation.

    I've been growing my moustache for a while now and a friend I just bumped into called me "the sheriff" because of its size and shape. I was quite chuffed.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • uroskin,

    Last time I joined in the Movember thing, it made me look like Lenin

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report Reply

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