Access: The Meltdown
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I read those reports about Susan Boyle and like you recognised a classic meltdown. Hopefully, she found some people to protect her from the crowds and give practical help.
Also I recognise that shut down you mention. If there is a next time for your son to visit Wellington I could ask mine to act as tour guide, including the best places to go by public transport.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
If there is a next time for your son to visit Wellington I could ask mine to act as tour guide, including the best places to go by public transport.
Sounds good to me :-)
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One of the Susan Boyle news reports used the word "tantrum", which, to put it mildly, annoyed me.
A MELTDOWN IS NOT A TANTRUM, HOWEVER MUCH IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE ONE
A tantrum is deliberate. If you have seen your own child (in this case, our younger son) looking out from a meltdown, scared of what's happening, and gradually learning some ways to deal with it, you'll understand that.
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Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
I’ve always been grateful to the unnamed bus driver who realised there was something more going on than a shortpaid fare, and told our son to sit down and he’d take him where he needed to go.
Sometimes, someone gets it. And you could just about cry with gratitude.
We have had our own encounter with an angel moonlighting as an Auckland bus driver.
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I suspect a meltdown and an unsympathetic/uncaring workplace is behind this sad story.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/small-business/79641523/Company-censured-for-firing-employee-because-he-was-old-and-had-Aspergers -
Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
And we'll see more of the same when the Social Bonds fueled 'work is good for you' initiative gets up a head of steam.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
We have had our own encounter with an angel moonlighting as an Auckland bus driver.
I hung out with some bus drivers recently. They were totally cool :-)
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Meltdowns, I've had a few over the decades. For me it's usually when other people's behaviour gets outside what feels reasonably predictable (and therefore safe), or when something seems fundamentally unjust and a bit too close.
Passive-aggressive arguing styles set me off, I've noticed. Getting better at walking away. It actually feels quite like being a kid again, overwhelmed by rage and confusion. I'm not the freezing-up type it seems. Thanks for the post, Russell.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
or when something seems fundamentally unjust
Yup, we've seen that be a factor.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
I suspect a meltdown and an unsympathetic/uncaring workplace is behind this sad story.
As much as my son wants more work, I do worry about him going into a workplace I don't know and trust. It's really easy for this to happen.
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Sacha, in reply to
I'll never be a tory :)
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Way back in 2001, I was asked to chaperone John Peel and his wife Sheila. They were lovely people.
But I gradually came to think that John was neurodiverse in some way. Not just "how else do you maintain that level of nerdiness?" but a couple of specific incidents.
The first was when we were due to go on stage at The Classic for an onstage interview event with bFM. John arrived and subsequently realised that he'd left his camera in the taxi on the way there. And he got anxious and upset – like, to a neurotypical, unreasonably upset. I basically had to talk him down to the stage, whereupon everything was fine. (I noted that his manner was precisely the same onstage, on the radio, or over a pint.)
The other was when I happened to be around to see them off and Sheila gave me a big hug and invited me to the farm (I never did take her up on that) and so I attempted to hit John goodbye too. I realised then that he was seriously not a hugger and it was very awkward. I think she was his social manager, basically – not an uncommon arrangement.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
I’ll never be a tory :)
And they say you aspies have no empathy :-)
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Russell Brown, in reply to
Passive-aggressive arguing styles set me off, I’ve noticed. Getting better at walking away. It actually feels quite like being a kid again, overwhelmed by rage and confusion.
I had an interesting discussion on a Facebook group once about an identity-politics-oriented ASD rights post that had been shared.
What was being touted seemed to be incredibly perilous to anyone without a fairly high-level feel for rhetorical politics and a knowledge of when to back out. Full of the usual fishhooks and gin traps. Basically, nothing I'd feel safe letting my kids near.
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A Facebook comment on this post from Troy Rawhiti-Forbes:
Okay, starting small. I find public transport hassles - be they by road, rail, or runway - to be disruptive but not to the point of meltdown but that's because I've been conditioned to expect failure, because it happens so frequently - and I think I find a certain comfort in powerlessness. If there's nothing I can do about a service I generally find to be unreliable, I'm not going to be shaken by that.
But if a new regular shows up and has a preference for my preferred seat - the only seat, as far as I'm concerned - then I'll silently hate their disruptive guts. I don't like what it does to my morning, I don't like that every journey will become a contest. It makes me very uncomfortable, but I'll live through it.
Being diagnosed and getting good support means I'm less prone to meltdowns than I ever was before. I may not like what's going on, but I can generally deal with the ridiculousness I'm seeing in a situation.
My biggest issues are around triggers; in the last two years I've been assaulted on the streets twice, and gone through some huge personal issues. I do not forget, and in the wrong situations I can feel like I'm endangered all over again. Off goes my brain into the blender.
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Russell Brown, in reply to
My biggest issues are around triggers; in the last two years I’ve been assaulted on the streets twice, and gone through some huge personal issues. I do not forget, and in the wrong situations I can feel like I’m endangered all over again. Off goes my brain into the blender.
As much as I want my son to be out and about, and I trust his general street-sense, I dread this so much.
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Sacha, in reply to
We have too much empathy, is one theory. Have to filter the world.
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Sacha, in reply to
Thanks, Troy. Hadn't picked that up via Twitter. # doh
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Don't worry, Sacha. I only received a diagnosis in October - before then it was just educated guesswork. Since then, I have mentioned it only in Twitter yarns only when it would add value.
Not that I wouldn't love to take a more vocal position, stand up, and do some things.
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Sacha, in reply to
Onya. Great to see you here. Same.
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Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
Being diagnosed and getting good support
When the time is right for you...the why and how of the diagnosis, and the what of the support would be an interesting and possibly helpful sharing.
There are very possibly others who would benefit.
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Sacha, in reply to
to a neurotypical, unreasonably upset.
A critical adjustment of expectations. How do we get that recognised?
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...how much potential there is for confusion and anxiety in air travel.
In which case I'd recommend not travelling Jetstar, they are cheap but ya need an iron constitution for lack of reassuring information or engagement.
Heck they even need to rely on their passengers to help with problems beyond their comprehension:
They circled the night sky above the suburbs north of Tullamarine, banking and waiting, and running low on fuel. Cabin manager John Chesson, 45, says this is when things got stressful. "Any longer and we would have to declare a fuel emergency, and then clear other aircraft out of the way. The captain was starting to get a little anxious himself."
The problem was the little boy. He felt sick. He was laying on the floor and would not get up, not even with the help of his elderly parents or adult brother and sister.
Chesson has dealt with disruption before. He has kicked people off planes before takeoff because of drunkenness, or racial abuse, but problems in the air are d
They call for doctors in cases of emergency, he thought. This seems like an emergency.
So he made a request over the loud speaker: "Is there a teacher on board this flight? Is there a special needs teacher on board?" -
Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
The marshmallow section of my heart loved that story.
Especially the reaction of the other passengers when the plane landed.
So many 'throw the tantrumming toddler out the window' stories on travel blogs...I read to the end of the article with baited breath.
Good result, and much needed kudos for special needs teachers.
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Hilary Stace, in reply to
I agree with you about the work fears. The workplace has to be the right one with the right culture. Otherwise just not worth it for so many reasons. Dignity of risk only goes so far.
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