Public Address | Cafe | Access: The Meltdown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/ en-us Copyright (c) 2026 Public Address Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=364084#post364084 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=364084#post364084 This morning on Natrad....Sue Haldane talks about, amoungst other issues, how to better 'manage' meltdowns.

I'd be interested to know what those closer to autism think.

]]> Fri, 22 Jul 2016 13:05:39 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360766#post360766 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360766#post360766 From the latest MindsforMinds newsletter is some of the first detailed NZ specific autism data. People can also sign up to be part of their research
http://www.mindsforminds.org.nz/

__We observe the well-reported male to female gender bias (4:1)
• The population distribution reflects New Zealand’s latest census
• Anxiety disorders, depression…

]]> Fri, 13 May 2016 15:46:31 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360417#post360417 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360417#post360417 Service user discrimination against all people with disabilities is illegal under the Human Rights Act 1993.

Hiya Craig.

Thanks for giving me the best laugh I've had in simply ages and ages and ages.

Even 'services' that have been specifically designed for disabled people consistently refuse to accept that this…

]]> Sun, 08 May 2016 12:01:44 +1200 Craig Young https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360416#post360416 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360416#post360416 Sun, 08 May 2016 11:24:30 +1200 Steve Barnes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360399#post360399 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360399#post360399 I realised I just didn’t see the world the way others seemed to.

That may just be the key…
I don’t think anybody can see the world as others see it.
We may have consensus on many things but that doesn’t mean we “see” them the same.

  1. I see…
]]> Sat, 07 May 2016 16:00:54 +1200 T. Rawhiti-Forbes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360364#post360364 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360364#post360364 Yup, sentence-closing is only an issue with verbal communication. Part of the trouble is, as fast as my mouth can go, my brain goes that much faster and if something chucks a spanner in the works, I can get lost that way.

The second therapist I worked with was a…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 23:16:28 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360351#post360351 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360351#post360351 Fri, 06 May 2016 17:54:36 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360338#post360338 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360338#post360338 First I worked with a counsellor who specialised in helping men who were on the spectrum, and he gave me the basic building blocks for a new – or perhaps just modified – set of communication behaviours.

Many thanks for that...and a much deeper answer than I was expecting...and you…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 17:03:26 +1200 Kumara Republic https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360271#post360271 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360271#post360271 As much as my son wants more work, I do worry about him going into a workplace I don't know and trust. It's really easy for this to happen.

Gainful employment remains a biggie for us aspies. I've said it before, but an on-the-job training approach seems to work best…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 10:43:38 +1200 Kumara Republic https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360270#post360270 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360270#post360270 hikikomori. ]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 10:36:41 +1200 mark taslov https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360267#post360267 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360267#post360267 Fri, 06 May 2016 10:04:22 +1200 T. Rawhiti-Forbes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360265#post360265 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360265#post360265 Timing is very important.

To throw some context around my story, I didn’t really understand that I could have been on the spectrum until I was 31. Funnily enough, it took a kind of meltdown – albeit a gentle one where I realised I just didn’t see the world the…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 09:51:49 +1200 Moz https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360262#post360262 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360262#post360262 rather than wait all day at the bus stop.

For reasons that have never been clear to me (beyond the trivial "he's an arsehole") my birthfather used to love the "joke" where if someone got out of the car he'd drive off a little way, they'd run to catch up,…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 09:43:18 +1200 Moz https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360261#post360261 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360261#post360261 I've been conditioned to expect failure, because it happens so frequently – and I think I find a certain comfort in powerlessness.

This. I find I actually quite like Jetstar and other "we'll have a go" airlines because I just turn up to the airport with my book and hope…

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 09:39:22 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360258#post360258 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360258#post360258 Fri, 06 May 2016 09:32:16 +1200 mark taslov https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360256#post360256 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360256#post360256 Fri, 06 May 2016 09:06:09 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360255#post360255 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360255#post360255 Fri, 06 May 2016 08:10:39 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360254#post360254 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360254#post360254 Fri, 06 May 2016 08:07:43 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360249#post360249 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360249#post360249 That was nice.

Thank you.

Yay. That's so nice to hear.

Do feel free to post what you like of that story if you change your mind. We're all about stories.

]]> Fri, 06 May 2016 00:10:31 +1200 JessicaRose https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360247#post360247 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360247#post360247 My partner read this blog and comments, and learned that other people have similar reactions to me. To unplanned stuff.

That was nice.

Thank you.

(I did write a massive long story with examples, but have decided to just get to the point).

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 23:53:26 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360238#post360238 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360238#post360238 Thu, 05 May 2016 22:45:28 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360233#post360233 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360233#post360233 The marshmallow section of my heart loved that story.

Especially the reaction of the other passengers when the plane landed.

So many 'throw the tantrumming toddler out the window' stories on travel blogs...I read to the end of the article with baited breath.

Good result, and much needed kudos for…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 22:32:08 +1200 Ian Dalziel https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360225#post360225 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360225#post360225 ...how much potential there is for confusion and anxiety in air travel.
In which case I'd recommend not travelling Jetstar, they are cheap but ya need an iron constitution for lack of reassuring information or engagement.

Heck they even need to rely on their passengers to help with problems beyond…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 22:09:51 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360219#post360219 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360219#post360219 to a neurotypical, unreasonably upset.

A critical adjustment of expectations. How do we get that recognised?

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 21:51:05 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360217#post360217 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360217#post360217 Being diagnosed and getting good support

When the time is right for you...the why and how of the diagnosis, and the what of the support would be an interesting and possibly helpful sharing.

There are very possibly others who would benefit.

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 21:47:09 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360197#post360197 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360197#post360197 Thu, 05 May 2016 20:45:15 +1200 T. Rawhiti-Forbes https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360187#post360187 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360187#post360187 Don't worry, Sacha. I only received a diagnosis in October – before then it was just educated guesswork. Since then, I have mentioned it only in Twitter yarns only when it would add value.

Not that I wouldn't love to take a more vocal position, stand up, and do some…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 20:25:37 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360172#post360172 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360172#post360172 Thu, 05 May 2016 19:11:34 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360171#post360171 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360171#post360171 Thu, 05 May 2016 19:02:39 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360170#post360170 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360170#post360170 My biggest issues are around triggers; in the last two years I’ve been assaulted on the streets twice, and gone through some huge personal issues. I do not forget, and in the wrong situations I can feel like I’m endangered all over again. Off goes my brain into the blender.… ]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 19:02:37 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360169#post360169 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360169#post360169 A Facebook comment on this post from Troy Rawhiti-Forbes:

Okay, starting small. I find public transport hassles – be they by road, rail, or runway – to be disruptive but not to the point of meltdown but that's because I've been conditioned to expect failure, because it happens so frequently…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 19:01:42 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360168#post360168 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360168#post360168 Passive-aggressive arguing styles set me off, I’ve noticed. Getting better at walking away. It actually feels quite like being a kid again, overwhelmed by rage and confusion.

I had an interesting discussion on a Facebook group once about an identity-politics-oriented ASD rights post that had been shared.

What was being…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:52:33 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360164#post360164 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360164#post360164 I’ll never be a tory :)

And they say you aspies have no empathy :-)

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:43:30 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360163#post360163 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360163#post360163 Way back in 2001, I was asked to chaperone John Peel and his wife Sheila. They were lovely people.

But I gradually came to think that John was neurodiverse in some way. Not just "how else do you maintain that level of nerdiness?" but a couple of specific incidents.

The…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:42:34 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360161#post360161 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360161#post360161 Thu, 05 May 2016 18:33:32 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360160#post360160 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360160#post360160 I suspect a meltdown and an unsympathetic/uncaring workplace is behind this sad story.

As much as my son wants more work, I do worry about him going into a workplace I don't know and trust. It's really easy for this to happen.

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:32:47 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360159#post360159 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360159#post360159 or when something seems fundamentally unjust

Yup, we've seen that be a factor.

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:30:03 +1200 Sacha https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360158#post360158 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360158#post360158 Meltdowns, I've had a few over the decades. For me it's usually when other people's behaviour gets outside what feels reasonably predictable (and therefore safe), or when something seems fundamentally unjust and a bit too close.

Passive-aggressive arguing styles set me off, I've noticed. Getting better at walking away. It…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:28:20 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360155#post360155 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360155#post360155 We have had our own encounter with an angel moonlighting as an Auckland bus driver.

I hung out with some bus drivers recently. They were totally cool :-)

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 18:14:01 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360149#post360149 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360149#post360149 Thu, 05 May 2016 17:42:21 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360147#post360147 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360147#post360147 I suspect a meltdown and an unsympathetic/uncaring workplace is behind this sad story.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/small-business/79641523/Company-censured-for-firing-employee-because-he-was-old-and-had-Aspergers

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 17:35:38 +1200 Rosemary McDonald https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360144#post360144 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360144#post360144 I’ve always been grateful to the unnamed bus driver who realised there was something more going on than a shortpaid fare, and told our son to sit down and he’d take him where he needed to go.

Sometimes, someone gets it. And you could just about cry with gratitude.

We…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 17:28:38 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360140#post360140 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360140#post360140 One of the Susan Boyle news reports used the word "tantrum", which, to put it mildly, annoyed me.

A MELTDOWN IS NOT A TANTRUM, HOWEVER MUCH IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE ONE

A tantrum is deliberate. If you have seen your own child (in this case, our younger son) looking out…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 17:19:59 +1200 Russell Brown https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360123#post360123 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360123#post360123 If there is a next time for your son to visit Wellington I could ask mine to act as tour guide, including the best places to go by public transport.

Sounds good to me :-)

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 16:18:56 +1200 Hilary Stace https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360117#post360117 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360117#post360117 I read those reports about Susan Boyle and like you recognised a classic meltdown. Hopefully, she found some people to protect her from the crowds and give practical help.

Also I recognise that shut down you mention. If there is a next time for your son to visit Wellington I…

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 15:30:11 +1200 Public Address https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360116#post360116 https://publicaddress.net/system/cafe/access-the-meltdown/?p=360116#post360116 Discussion from blog post.

]]> Thu, 05 May 2016 15:30:10 +1200