Posts by Kerry Weston

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  • Southerly: Primary School for Beginners,

    *Howithe Marching Girl Ruined the Fancy dress Ball*

    She was all of about nine, resplendent in her marching girl outfit for the fancy dress ball - the highlight of our primary school year. We waltzed and gay-gordoned and hoki-tokied the night away, feasted on fizzy and cake , before the highlight of the night - the magician show. Doves, silk scarves and fluffy bunnies fluffed and flew out of sleeves and hats. We were entranced.

    Then he brought out the guillotine. The blade sliced a cabbage in two with a satisfying thunk. Everyone roared with glee. Some fool got up and put his head in the hole. As the crowd erupted in thrill and terror around her, the Marching Girl knew the world had gone mad. Just the other day, she'd read about Marie Antoinette losing her head and how the people cheered. She'd even drawn a line across the poor Queen's neck on her picture.

    The magician called "Quiet please" and the lights dimmed around the Marching Girl, until all she could see were the mad, bright eyes and wide, open mouths of witches, ghosts and ghouls. No-one was going to save the fool with his head in the guillotine. She stumbled to her feet, her jelly stick legs uncertain, and shouted "Stop! You're all laughing and...(sob)...he's going to cut his head off!"

    "Shut up! You're ruining it, sookie. Sit down!" The Marching Girl turned and ran, stumbling & stomping over feet and hands till she reached the door. Outside, the night sky was blooming with stars, like always.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: I've been hybridising for a…,

    the hybridisation is becoming riskily confusing to the voter

    No it isn't. Folks who care enough to seek more information, analysis and discussion already know they've been shortchanged by trad media, mostly by the art of omission.

    What i value about PA, is the collaborative nature of it. And the self-regulation - no-one gets away with making unsubstantiated, contestable comments. It's also a much quicker way to get a better grip on issues than trawling thru all the sources yourself and hoping for the best.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Cracker: No Kitty Blues,

    Toys FOR cats.....

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Cracker: No Kitty Blues,

    Jeeves, deeply disturbed

    Hmmm, I've heard of toys of cats, but this is not on, Jeeves!

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Field Theory: Olympic Eye Candy,

    Can't be flicking over to the Olympics at the right times - caught the shot-putters last night, my goodness, big brawny, neckless wonders they are, too. The rowers are quite pervable, but they should be shirtless...

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just marketing to the base,

    Grant Dexter: Why is caring for children legitimate paid work if it's done by childcare centres but not by mothers?

    Why do you think single mother-led families are not real, functioning families? I personally find that extremely offensive - but if you prefer women and children to stay in families where they're demoralised, abused (and very unhappy) just so the model nuclear family can be upheld, then I think you're one very unpleasant person.

    It has already been pointed out that Liable Parents pay the government the maintenance that should be going towards their children's upkeep - that offsets the base cost of the benefit. In effect, the government and the taxpayers are getting very cheap childcare for the young citizens we like to declare we care so much about. Half of all New Zealand women will be single parents at some time in their lives - that indicates the model nuclear family is no longer a lifetime choice.

    If there were no benefits - and I regard WFF as a "benefit" - NZ social order would fall over, because employers don't pay enough to keep the people at a decent standard of living, without tax redistribution.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just marketing to the base,

    Craig @ 4.12: Yes, I do understand why yr hackles might be raised by said question and I apologise unreservedly for any hurt caused. Put it down to my constant, weary amazement that people need it spelled out just what it's like to single parent. I hope you have opportunities to be 'Uncle Craig" for some kids - mentoring? Or even a bit of voluntary work in schools - i occasionally teach primary kids arty stuff like printmaking, they're great to be around & love attention from a visitor.

    BTW - I can't resist the famous quote from yr mate GB Shaw - if you treat a guttersnipe like a lady, she will act like a lady.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just marketing to the base,

    Well said, Danielle.

    Craig, my point is that raising children alone is a huge commitment and everything gets magnified in difficulty. What makes it unnecessarily hard is the general lack of respect for what single parents do. The fact you're scraping by financially, so you are always stressed about money is omnipresent. I think mothers and kids deserve a whole lot better - I hoped John Key might have had a bit more insight, is all. The day a politician actually says a whole lot of positive and affirmative things about single parents and is willing to back that up with policy is the day I'll vote for them.

    BTW - there's also a mindset out there in schools, MoE, mental health services, that boys can't be raised to be great men without their fathers. Single mothers get blamed for any problems with sons - too soft, overprotective - and blamed for not facilitating boys' relationships with their fathers, courtesy of Celia Lashlie's influential book on raising boys. There is a distinct lack of mentoring for boy/teens - in my area there is none at all.

    It's a case of failing to provide real, meaningful support and respect, then blaming those falling by the wayside for not making it.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just marketing to the base,

    "adhering to the government breast on a more or less permanent basis". Unlike Mr Ralston (who I suspect has never spent a day on a benefit in his life -- and good on him), I didn't actually find that a very good place to be.

    While adhered to the government breast, Craig, were you raising children at the same time? Feeding, clothing, listening & talking, reading to them. getting them to school, bathed, entertained, entertaining their friends, shopping, playing games, caring for them when sick?

    No, i thought not.

    a historically and sociologically reliable document of the American Civil War and Reconstruction, as opposed to a vastly entertaining piece of melodramatic fiction.

    Yeah, Dickens was all bull (!) - that's why so many Brits left in droves, 3 months in a stinking boat where you'd likely die of something scrofulous and revolting was preferable.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

  • Hard News: Just marketing to the base,

    No-one seems to have made the connection with the It's not ok campaign. Let's say a woman wishes to leave a relationship that is abusive to herself, and/or her children - before it gets really nasty & into the courts. I'm sure many PA posters would help that woman find a home and get set up and maybe even invite her & the kids over for a bbq sometime. But you are exceptional. Usually what happens when the 'A' word is mentioned to family and friends is instant denial (you're lying/exaggerating/mental) or instant withdrawal (don't want to get involved in this mess). So, really her only option is the Refuge - and the humiliation of being a loser. The children, of course, will be traumatised because the break-up won't have been pretty. Those kids usually desperately need security and stability - and their mums. Not childcare centres.

    Because the woman has brought shame upon the families concerned, unless they are exceptionally supportive and caring, she will likely be raising those kids on her own. no help for sick days (kids or her own) or school holidays. Three months' holidays plus sick days a year. I promise you - DPBers are harassed to work now and if you have a part time job, they want to know when you're getting a fulltime one.
    And the ultimate job choice for Winz for DPBers is not hospitality - it's rest home caregiving - where nights, weekends and split shifts are the norm. And usually minimum wage. They don't care if the woman is better educated or once had a decent qualification - remember the average useful life for a degree is six years, so I've been told, so if you haven't used it while you've been having babies.....

    Remember, too, that the Liable parents pay the govt 21% of their earnings for the first child, rising to 24% for the next, to offset the DPB. This in effect means the base rate (not WFF or A/S which is universal) is subsidised by the father, often to a high level. So, the DPB is actually much less of a burden on the general taxpayer.

    It just suits people to scapegoat single mothers.

    Manawatu • Since Jan 2008 • 494 posts Report

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