Posts by Tom Beard
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I'll be Mr Square and say that it's mostly iTunes for me. Half the time I can't be bothered firing up my laptop, buying through another site (though I have used Bandcamp and Bleep), loading the files into iTunes and syncing, so just buying via the iPhone app is much easier.
One thing that's surprised me is how much YouTube has become the default music service for a lot of people I know, even if there's no video. That's partly because it's available at work, whereas Soundcloud and a lot of streaming sites are blocked. Friday night work drinks now involve people crowding around someone's PC and making requests for the next song. I've been known to subvert the MOR playlist with some Squarepusher and YACHT, but I think my colleagues really started to worry when I selected the uncut video for Soft Cell's "Sex Dwarf".
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Up Front: Making It Better, in reply to Russell Brown,
Wait till you're older, sonny.
I am older. I just don't (with a few exceptions) tend to stay friends with people once they settle down and move to the suburbs. It's not deliberate (though once conversations start to stray towards property prices and school zones, I'm outta there), it's just that there are fewer opportunities to see them so we drift apart.
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Up Front: Making It Better, in reply to Emma Hart,
One of whom responded to my brother's reasonably complex position on nuclear ships with the telling point, "At least I shave, arsehole."
Perhaps he was saying "At least I shave arsehole". Which would give us a very different perspective on the Young Nats.
More seriously, I started high school in 1981, and I saw the unequal treatment of the two sides of the Tour debate in what was, for a state school, a very conservative and sports-focussed environment. I was formally warned for wearing a HART badge, being told that badges of any kind were against school policy ... but of course, a blind eye was turned to all the "Support the Tour badges" worn by the prefects and other meatheads. Nowadays I'm glad that I can support Hart more openly.
My parents took me along to all the anti-Tour and anti-bomb marches, but balked at letting me come along to the Lancaster Park protest during the tour itself. They told me that it was because we were about to go overseas and they didn't want me to get a police record. Really, though, I think that they were just protecting me, which makes some sense given what happened and the fact that I was twelve at the time. Dad provided medical help for the protestors, and this was definitely not one of the times when kiwis were nice and sedate: he still won't talk about some of the things he saw.
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As much as I think that Out To Dinner sounds like a good idea, I can't help shaking the feeling that it has a strong undercurrent of middle class "Some Of My Best Friends" privilege. Not that I can speak, of course, being as middle class as it's possible to be without reading the property pages. And I also don't think I'm the target demographic, because I'm really struggling to think of any "on the fence" couples that I know ... or all that many same-sex couples, come to think of it, as most of the LGBT people in my social circle seem to be either single or currently in heterosexual relationships.
It would seem to potentially very useful in a more middle NZ setting (rather than my loose assemblage of urban liberal wastrels) where people are more likely to form firendships through suburban neighbourliness, schools, sports groups and the like. I suppose that's where you're likely to find on-the-fence people, or the sort of people who would like to think of themselves as modern and openminded but don't have much contact with LGBT people. Though as you say, the potential for social awkwardness would be enough for a whole season of Alan Bennett scripts.
For the moment, my real-life activism might be limited to supporting roles at the likes of SlutWalk, as well as throwing the sort of parties where LGBT, kinky, and poly behaviour are not only allowed but actively encouraged.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Steve Barnes,
You must let me show you how I shake hands sometime. ;-)
Apparently we are all extinct so the point is moot.I appreciate that you said that "the desire would disappear," rather than that sex would disappear, and it's true that there always has been a lot of sex without desire. But I don't think that naughtiness is the only source of desire, so I don't think that desire would disappear either.
Think of the world of sex as a city (yeah, I know - it's my go-to metaphor). Some people are quite happy settling down in one place, making their home there and never venturing beyond that one street. That's fine for them, and you might even say that they desire to make their home better as they get to know it over the years.
Others would rather wander around, and get a thrill from discovering the unique delights of every new street they encounter. Some districts of the city might be considered dangerous, and the adventurous erotoflâneur might gain an additional thrill from exploring those mean streets. In some cities, whole neighbourhoods might be fenced off and ferociously guarded, and many citizens would go to great lengths to illicitly cross those borders because they feel that their true home is on the other side. Was homosexual law reform the sexual equivalent of the fall of the Berlin Wall?
Removing those fences and prohibitions might take away some of the forbidden thrill for some people, but that would be more than made up for by the sense of liberation that comes from living in a free city. The dodgy parts of town might still have some shock value for those who seek that, since the good burghers of Churton Park would still raise their eyebrows at those of us who prefer hanging out in Newtown (so to speak). But you wouldn't lose your job for moving there, or get told by the police "What did you expect? You should have stayed at home" if you do happen to get assualted there.
A free city won't turn into a bland shopping mall, as it will still have its share of randomness, dark alleys and secret histories. But it will be free.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Steve Barnes,
If sex became as socially acceptable as shaking hands then the desire would disappear, it is the “Naughtiness”, the forbidden fruit, the unavailability.
Um, while naughtiness can add a certain frisson, there's also the fact that sex is considerably more fun than shaking hands. If not, you're doing it wrong.
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Perhaps it's time for the Sluts Unite oath:
I believe that sex represents more than just the creation of children.
I believe it is an enjoyable, healthy and a profound part of the human experience.
I also believe that the responsible use of birth control is an essential component of a mature, civilized society.
And if these beliefs make me a slut in some people's eyes, then so be it.
I will stand united with my fellow sluts, now and always.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Bart Janssen,
Yeah this isn't Trade chat!
Rough trade chat?
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Emma Hart,
And yet another thread manages to make its way, quite logically, to Buffy videos. So happy.
Though surprisingly, no-one's mentioned anal sex yet.
Whoops.
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Up Front: Towards a Sex-Positive Utopia, in reply to Lilith __,
And in other news, look forward to the sex-bot utopia!!!!1
There is only one possible response to that: