Speaker by Various Artists

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Speaker: My First Job

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  • 3410,

    The recipient of the blowjob will experience a smooth and cooling effect. Beer has a similar effect

    It does, plus you don't have to worry about the beer's feelings. ;)

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich

    I am *so glad* that someone else besides me uses this band as a punchline. :)

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Delete Tich. Or was it Mick. Or maybe Beaky. Anyway, one of them died a wee while back but I doubt if the other band members noticed. ;-(

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2539 posts Report Reply

  • JoJo,

    Pubic Address

    National Archives printed a brochure a few years ago that claimed they were the "keepers of the pubic record". Now that would be a gripping read...

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 95 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    (choke) It's (choke) monday (choke choke) isn't it? (Gag).

    I can't believe this thread. I am appalled. This is not the sort of drivell that I, a clean (ex) anglican lad should be exposed to on this blogsite.

    A modicum of decorum please.

    It was Crete was it Sally?....so long.... I had forgotten.

    Oh..and thanks for the compliment(s)

    (and almost as big) as a nuclear missile.

    and

    Oxford (though his talents would have been wasted on rowing)

    Shucks.

    :-)

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1589 posts Report Reply

  • Jackie Clark,

    Oh, now I'm laughing.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    Oh sure, now that I actually have work to do and can't keep up with PA System, now you break out the dirty posts...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • chris,

    Work? pshaw! This so makes me want to go to Crete.

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    I shall issue you with a big platonic hug....

    ...as opposed to the grip of unfriendly plate tectonics

    This so makes me want to go to Crete.

    why even the sand there is hard!
    To quote Neddy Seagoon (or was it Eccles, or an interchange betwixt) on arriving on Crete:
    "this sand is hard
    - it must be concrete!"

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7892 posts Report Reply

  • Cecelia,

    I seem to be getting a little paranoid. Particularly with respect to possible dissing of guest writers on Public Address.

    The suspected dissing was a comparison of yours and Sally's writing styles? There is a similarity - both outrageously funny and droll. Both have that self-deprecating humour that draws us into the - I don't know - the humanity of it all. Perhaps David is less pubic and less public too.

    Whatever the factor is I enjoy it greatly although Sally's "first job" took me out of my comfort zone. I kept thinking, where is this going, oh no - and then - oh, that's okay.

    There's nothing better than sitting at your computer and laughing out loud.

    Hibiscus Coast • Since Apr 2008 • 559 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    Well now, that's more like it! Cheers Cecelia (will twenties be good for you?). I am sorry to those who found it all a bit of a mouthful for Monday morning - though better than Sunday morning, let me tell you! Ross - yes, it was long; Ian, if you think the sand is hard..., and Chris - you're right, it's not work unless you get paid...

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    plus you don't have to worry about the beer's feelings. ;)

    ... because sometimes it's a lot easier to find a beer that will love you unconditionally. Jus' sayin'.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Ross Mason,

    and Chris - you're right, it's not work unless you get paid...

    I didn't have my glasses on when I read that. I got it first time as "not work unless you get laid". It seemed to make sense....

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1589 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Cecelia wrote:

    The suspected dissing was a comparison of yours and Sally's writing styles?

    No, on the contrary, I'm very happy to be compared to Sally (although I don't know about the reverse)! It was the learned to write at a "community night school creative non-fiction writing workshop" bit that I misunderstood (possibly a relection on my own ill-informed thoughts RE: community night school writing courses). Anyway, that's all sorted now.

    Sally: rumour (from a mutual acquaintance) has it that you toured the UK as a ballerina in the Australian Ballet. Any chance of hearing the inside dirt on the ballet industry as a follow-up? Have your toes ever recovered?

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • chris,

    Both have that self-deprecating humour that draws us into the - I don't know - the humanity of it all.

    Long live the humanity!

    Mawkland • Since Jan 2010 • 1302 posts Report Reply

  • Geoff Lealand,

    Any chance of hearing the inside dirt on the ballet industry as a follow-up? Have your toes ever recovered?

    I have always wondered too about the reason ballerinas have to stand on their tippy-toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas? :-)

    Screen & Media Studies, U… • Since Oct 2007 • 2539 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I have always wondered too about the reason ballerinas have to stand on their tippy-toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas? :-)

    Or chop most of the feet off and just run the stumps down to points.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Jeremy Eade,

    Sally ,you should have kicked this guy in the balls, told him to take his semen teet away and gone back to sleep. Sleep is very important.

    auckland • Since Mar 2008 • 1112 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    et tutu brutes?

    Any chance of hearing the inside dirt on the ballet industry as a follow-up?

    you could call it PAS de dirt......
    or maybe Pirouettes of the Caribbean

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7892 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    I have a complaint.

    If you are going to write lewd suggestive and sexual posts you damn well should make that clear in the title!

    Otherwise I might miss it.



    A lovely post and I really think your husband should be rewarded for his part in bringing this to us :).

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4451 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    Yes, sleep IS important. I think that was all I was ever trying to say...

    But cheers Jeremy and Bart for the blokes back-up.

    Yes, I should have had this guys balls - don't think I wasn't tempted. I had thought of suggesting he pirouette on his pointy member till it is reduced to a stub - or less of a stub - but then I worried about those rules of engagement and thought better of getting involved in a game of tit (for tat) envy.

    And yes, my husband does deserve (and receive) regular rewards for allowing his wife the freedom to blow off from time to time. Thanks for caring.
    And thanks, Ian for pas de dirt. Very clever. I'm considering it alongside various other suggestions for the much anticipated sequel.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    I'm considering it alongside various other suggestions for the much anticipated sequel.

    More please, yes! On any subject at all. I would read you on how to make scrambled eggs or pluck hair out of a hairbrush or watch paint dry, frankly.

    Plus, you and David are a stellar argument (if any extra was needed) against the budget cuts for community night school, dammit. Where can I sign up for that course you supposedly took together? Will you be team-teaching it? :-)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • sally jones,

    Cheers Jolisa. Yes, team-teaching with David is a great idea. I could take the north and he the south...
    More good suggestions for the follow-up piece too. Since my husband has decided to grow his hair long to approximate the style of Jon Bon Jovi (though his hair seems to have had other ideas, coming to rest on something closer to a windswept Woody Allen), hairbrush plucking has become an increasingly significant feature in my life. So that's a clear contender.
    The weather bomb has put paid to watching paint dry, though watching paint wet and peel could also make a titillating sequel.
    Then again, you can't beat scrambled eggs.
    I'll keep you posted.

    Auckland • Since Sep 2010 • 179 posts Report Reply

  • Ian Dalziel,

    his 'n' hirsute...

    Since my husband has decided to grow his hair long to approximate the style of Jon Bon Jovi... ...hairbrush plucking has become an increasingly significant feature in my life...

    ...a veritable follicle à deux
    oh well maybe you'll get a shag out of it...
    ;- )

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 7892 posts Report Reply

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