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Access: Autism, ABA and being a bad mother

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  • BenWilson,

    Certainly I don't need to hear anything about a cure for my boy's troubles. The cause of most of them is clear. It's a crying shame, though, that he gets tremendous support just because what happened was an accident, when all the therapies that have done him such good are not available without huge cost to families with spectrum children just because the cause is not really known. God knows from many of the parents I've met, they need it a lot more. Not because it will "cure" their child. But because it helps them cope, and to get on and gives them tools and support and networks to deal with what will be a lifelong problem in many cases.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10630 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to debunk,

    I didn’t think that I “disagreed” with anything ..merely pointed out that some of these behaviour descriptions have changed over the years ..eg autism, ADHD, dementia ..nothing more to say here about it though. All the best ..

    I felt you were being insensitive in doubting the diagnosis of a child you have never met. Autism parents encounter this kind of thing quite a lot and it doesn’t help. You repeatedly used the word autistic in quotation marks as if it wasn’t a real thing.

    I asked you to tread carefully, I used the “please” – and you responded by having a hissy fit, playing the martyr and then offering an irrelevant link in a way which implied, again, that autism isn’t a real thing. Suggesting that Temple Grandin doesn’t know herself is silly. I tried to be nice about this and you played the wounded party and sneered about people being sensitive.

    But to go back to your very first comment:

    Before the birth of the label “autistic” in the 1980s developmental psychology courses at university referred to such children as “withdrawn” or as “slow developers” – certainly less judgemental and less “clinical” decriptions for such a multivariate personality state..same with the all encompassing term “dementia” which can have 20 or more physiological and/or environmental causes?

    Autism isn’t some trendy modern diagnosis and the idea that we should revert to diagnoses of “withdrawn” or as “slow developers” – which, let’s face it, aren’t far off “retarded” – is not helpful. No one here thinks autistm is a bad or judgemental word. It’s something we can work with, something which describes a very wide range of symptoms, by no means all of them negative.

    You’re fond of touting your credentials on this site, but you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about in this instance. Please, read the latest edition of the DSM and what it says about autism spectrum disorders.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to BDB Inc,

    If I disagree with your opinion I cannot be on this blog?
    Do I understand you correctly?

    People disagree with me all the time. But the reader community here is pretty special and it works in part because I'm here most of the time, moderating as I feel is necessary.

    I saw what Miche said as a gentle, not-undeserved ribbing and I explained my reasoning in what I had said to debunk. You chose to respond with patronising snark directed at me ("honey", "sweetie"). I do need you be a bit less querulous than you've been in various threads. And I need you respect my call. It's my place.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    I've spent the day with my family and some dear sailing friends of my stepfather consigning his ashes to his beloved sea. We discussed many things, including autism, without rancour. I feel sad (and angry) when people play petty games with something so profound in many of our lives.

    If you do not know about something, it's OK to listen. Show some respect for those who do.

    Cheers to all the good listeners and speakers who have enriched my life. My stepdad was one of the best.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19680 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown, in reply to Sacha,

    Cheers to all the good listeners and speakers who have enriched my life. My stepdad was one of the best.

    I'm glad your important day went well, Sacha. These things matter.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha, in reply to Russell Brown,

    Thank you. They do. I still wish I'd caught your Foo mihi that year.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19680 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace, in reply to Russell Brown,

    I echo this. And thanks Russell for your firm reasonableness.

    As the comments threads show, the topics raised so far on the Access blog really matter to many people and raise some significant related issues. There are not many places where you can discuss disability-related issues generally and have vigorous debate. So we need gentle reminders about the rules of engagement.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3196 posts Report Reply

  • BDB Inc, in reply to debunk,

    I disagreed with Russell on how a community should treat each other, I addressed him the same way so that he could then see that was not as funny as they first thought.

    I think your point is valid but I don't think you were heard, as you did not say some these behaviours, personality and 'impairments' have not been observed by them and others in their child .
    There is no test for autism and their is a huge crossover of 'PDD' with many other "disorders & symtoms ". My opinion on 'autism' is probably not the same as yours. But it is clear to me there has been a epidemic of medicalising behaviour, social skills and personality traits.

    I find it amazing that what is going on in the world is not seen to be connected to our development, as though neuroscientists think environment( our thinking feeling) has no play on development or gene expression.

    Since Apr 2014 • 61 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    I think I'm done with being reasonable.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Sorry about all this, folks. I hope this hasn't precluded a good discussion of Hilary's excellent post. BDB won't be back. Please do carry on.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22747 posts Report Reply

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