Hard News by Russell Brown

So frivolous, and not even Friday

I'm lacking the application for serious blogging, so I might as well comment on this morning's Big Day Out lineup announcement. It doesn't really do it for me but, then, I'm not exactly the target market.

I mean, Tool. There had better be something good on another stage when Tool are playing. Rarely has a band been better named than Tool. Lumbering, po-faced boys' music that lets squares kid themselves they're being edgy, that's what Tool is.

Okay, the Killers will be good, but Muse? Does anybody really like Muse? I seem to recall offering them some advice from the stands when they played in 2004: give up you pretentious bastards, or something of that order.

My Chemical Romance? Undeniably hot. The Violent Femmes? If it's to be rock reunions, I'll take the Lemonheads, thanks: that eponymous new album really is a beaut.

As ever, the local acts will prive some of the must-see performances. Shapeshifter will be large in the tent, it'll be the Mint Chicks' year, and Scribe will be hot if he actually has a new record out.

Still, I'll be going, of course. And it looks like we'll be going with a group of teenage girls. Although when I say "going with", I mean "travelling in the same car and meeting up at the end of the show so as not to spoil anyone's fun."

Staying with rock 'n' roll, the organisers of the New Zealand Music Awards, aka the Tuis, have thoughtfully designed a new trophy which is not only stylish, but useful for opening beer bottles. Is Jordan up for anything?

Harry Hutton reviews Jackass the Movie: II and finds that "it raises some important questions."

Best trailer mash-up in a while: scenes from Sesame Street with dialogue from the films of Scorcese. Cool.

And, finally, if you've been struggling to understand Don Brash's pronouncements in the past week, help is at hand, via Gizoogle, which illuminates his recent Herald opinion piece like this:

The important thing fo` tha National Party, n fo` me personally, is that all New Zealanda, brotha tha ethnicity of they ancestors n wheneva they or they ancestors arrived in New Zealand, mizzle be equal brotha tha law. And all must receive hizzle fizzle tha Government based on they need, n not on they rizzy.

It reads so much better in Snoop Dog speech, don't you think?