Posts by Lilith __
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Capture: Dogs Love Cameras Too, in reply to Hebe,
We’re surfacing from a winter of illness, surprise puppies and redundancy into a spring of possibility and a wonderful new life that seems sent to raise all our spirits!
So pleased to hear this! :-)
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I'm really uncomfortable with people judging someone for not crying (or not crying "properly") at a funeral. There is a huge range of human responses to shock and grief. I have no idea whether Lundy is guilty, but let's stick to examining the evidence.
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Hard News: Rape and unreason, in reply to Dean Papa,
I am intimidated by the angry and judgemental feminists
If you can't handle our civil politeness, and our not agreeing with you, perhaps you'd like to try another forum.
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Sorry for the threadjack, but here's a way women can keep themselves safe from breast cancer: know what it can look like:
Warning: contains pictures of actual breasts. Unlike the NZ ad.
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I'm all for people saying how they feel, but I think we also have to remember some facts.
Women occasionally rape men, women occasionally rape women, men sometimes rape men, but the overwhelmingly most common cases are men raping women.
This is how it is.
Most men are not rapists and NOBODY here on PAS has ever said they are.
I hope we can build a future in which nobody rapes anybody. Thank you.
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Hard News: Rape and unreason, in reply to Helen Marie,
Helen, I want to say something meaningful but I'm so horrified by what you've been through that words fail. You are a very brave lady and thank you for telling your story. xx
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David, there's a delightful animated French film called The Illusionist , set in Edinburgh, and overflowing with love for the place with its constantly shifting light and rain. Worth a look. :-)
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David, thank you for such a wonderful post.
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Hard News: Rape and unreason, in reply to Heather Gaye,
women don’t get the chance to say “yes” enough. Standard picture for sex is that people just start smooching on the couch, no talking, he starts trying his luck, and at a certain point the woman tells the man to slow down. Article basically suggested that hey, wouldn’t it be awesome – for both people – if there was more of “hey, do you like that? do you want me to..? how bad do you want it?” and have your partner tell you how much they’re really into it?
So much this. And it doesn’t just apply to basic consent for sexual activity, good communication is also about discussing with your partner about what stuff you do and don’t like, what they like and don’t like, and also what you both feel like doing on a particular occasion.
Doesn’t matter how well you think you know your partner, either. I lived with a guy for several years before he mentioned that a thing I sometimes did, he didn’t like. Boy, was I surprised. And embarrassed. Then a while later down the track he decided he did want me to do that thing. I know that because he told me so. :-)
There’s really no substitute for talking.
ETA: oh snap, Emma.
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Hard News: Rape and unreason, in reply to Morgan Nichol,
It’s always bittersweet because when I see a woman walking in front of me through a park or down a dark street who is obviously disturbed by my presence (and it is obvious), she thinks I’m a threat, but I know that as long as I’m there literally nothing bad can possibly happen, no matter what kind of scumbag is around.
But there’s no way for them to know that.
Some men cross the street so it's clear they're not "following". That can help.
And you guys? If you ever see a woman looking like she's in a tight spot, hang around, loiter nearby, stare.