Posts by Ian MacKay
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Scotty: Just kidding. :) And trying to not let Craig get the last word.
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Scotty. Just don't hit your kids. Its like giving up smoking. A time of withdrawl symptoms, like itching, burning palms, sweating, but you can do it man. Just give it up!
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Cheers Tim :)
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The poster boy for smacking, Simon Barnett said in a recent interview that smacking his older girls appeared to work, but that his 3rd daughter was not impressed so, slightly embarrassed, he said he had to use "other" means. Great that from being dogmatic he has apparently had a rethink.
I think "force used to prevent harmetc" referred to grabbing him, picking her up, restraining, was not to be regarded as assault. This was to counter those who red herringed by saying the Repeal would would make it illegal to even touch a child?! It does not imply that the touch to prevent harm need be a smack.
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Tim: "This little clip kind of sums up my thoughts on this idea that a smack can be useful parental correction."
You are not really serious are you Tim? I think that Alfie's clip is showing that some of the actions we take don't work like we think. He would advocate that there other things to do if you want to make a real change. (There were times when I used-time out to give us both time to cool down.) Kids are benched in schools but if it doesn't work why not? And what to do to make the naughty kid get it. He explores the way in which perpetrators get wilder with the victim, instead of remorseful and what can be done to change the behaviour. It is a big subject and hard to sum up here. -
Yes Craig at:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10592610
Note the timing AFTER the vote and that it is listed at 16th on the Herald's National News Contents. Wonder why? -
I knew of a young teacher in Nelson who was interested in the principle of acknowledgement classrooms. She had a J3 class and droped the certificates etc. The kids were mystified and worried for a while. Then parents started muttering. She reinstated rewards. In particular she offered group rewards for being ready, tidy etc then steadily upped the value of the rewards. Steadily these kids found ways to cheat, bully, lie and sabotage in order to win. An unpleasant atmoshere evolved. It really needed a school wide approach. Anyway look up Kohn on-line and keep up the good work with parenting and teaching. Enlightenment is not easy though.
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kiwi kat: It can be as simple as "You are home on time. You helped feed your brother. You put your bag away without being asked. " Watch carefully the effect it has on the body talk. No reward. No "good girl."said.
In the classroom ask the kids what they really think about certificates and awards, but remember they have lived with reward and punishments forever.
Can't really go into it here but Alfie Kohn has good stuff on this for teachers and parents, (and grades and testing) but if in NZ we condone smacking, then we have a looooong way to go! -
Probably bad time but there is a great deal of research summed up with "Punished with Rewards." It is a good thing to try and ignore bad behaviour, and perhaps better to reward good behaviour but better still is to acknowledge good behaviour. There is a mania for dishing out certificates, lollies, etc which may have a short term response but is it teaching people to to good things for reward rather for the good of self and group. Teachers often hold out a reward for the person or group who does best but it can be done much better. It ties in with the belief say in a school that bad kids get X punishment. If the same kids are getting benched or getting X then it isn't working. If the kids are getting smacked at home for repeated behaviour then its not working. One of my favourites is the use of consequences as though we don't use punishments! Ha!
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Oh, now I feel guilty
And I feel no guilt
Sounds like the Catholics on a Sunday, just add 3 Hail Mary's :)
Never mind. Perhaps a little bit of guilt for eating/not eating all that chocolate will do instead?