Up Front: What Sorry Looks Like
28 Responses
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Well, bugger me dead Emma...that's practically verbatim what I was trying to convey to the blame -shifter on The Standard yesterday.
Kinda took it rather badly when I called him an enabler.
I still don't think he's got it.
Heavy drawn out sigh.
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Really glad you posted this Emma. I had to run away from The Standard when I read the comments section, particulary the ones in response to Rosemary. Hope that this will be a better forum for women to discuss their thoughts.
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Emma Hart, in reply to
Hope that this will be a better forum for women to discuss their thoughts.
I'm not sure 'better than the Standard' is anything to be proud of, but yeah, I will be moderating a bit more tightly than usual, given the emotional weight of the topic. It's a pretty easy call given how sick and anxious it's making me feel myself.
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Delaney Mes writes well about it in The Spinoff.
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Concise, sharp and accurate. Nice work.
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LudditeJourno has a great piece up at The Hand Mirror too.
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Steven Dunne, Father of Kristin Dunne-Powell tells it like it is today in the Harold. It is he who deserves a platform here. Sad to see the Herald thought Veitch worthy of space .
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Self-serving statement on his part.
And self-serving publication by The Herald. They knew they'd get clicks and they didn't care who they hurt by publishing. So many victims of domestic violence will have been left crying by that column and The Herald profits from that pain.
For me, if an apology doesn't start with "I'm sorry, I fucked up ... " then it probably isn't an apology.
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SHG, in reply to
I had to run away from The Standard when I read the comments section
Don't worry, that's how most people react.
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Sofie Bribiesca, in reply to
I'm not really into the commercialisation of Mum and Dad's days but to give that shit the limelight on Mothers day was just appalling.
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Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
I am choosing to believe that it was all about distraction.
When a 'mate' steps in and supports by association your 'rehabilitation', the least a mate can do is reciprocate.
I guess for some being re-issued as a lying piece of scum is just another day in the office.
Water off a duck's back.
And which of 'em gives a toss if the fallout re-victimises survivors?
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Journalist Michael Field sat next to Kristin Dunne-Powell at the trial.
I’ve no interest in parading Veitch through the muck again. But I think he should stop writing self-serving columns if he can’t truly take responsibility for his actions. If anybody gets to write about what he did, it should be that woman; the one who was shaking the whole time I was beside her.
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Great post.
I'm all for the rehabilitation of offenders and not entirely convinced by the efficacy of the New Zealand prison system. But clearly the man in question has not been sufficiently rehabilitated.
NZME is absolutely an enabler in giving him his unapologetic voice back as a broadcaster and then a further platform on Mother's Day (over commercialised it may be) as click bait.
The lack of genuine remorse is enough to make you feel sick. Add on the British tabloid-esque ethics of NZ Herald and wow, just wow.
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What puts the icy claws into my heart is this worthless individuals' professional relationship with the hair pulling, white ribbon ambassador John Key.
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Hebe,
Quite. To call that an apology was sick. The piece was self-serving, showed faux humility, and it was thoroughly questionable in its intent and execution.
If Tony Veitch were indeed sorry, he would just shut up about it in public and get around to apologising to Kristin Dunne-Powell. If he were truly sorry, that apology would have happened way before now.
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What is infuriating is that we all know Veitch is a massive jerk, and he deserves the condemnation of this piece. But I also question the judgement of the editor or editors who thought this was an appropriate use of their otherwise worth anti-violence campaign, to flog yet another of their in-house radio hosts and his "I-I-I" "me-me-me" rant instead of far worthier voices. And on Mother's Day to boot. Of the shocking and dismaying decisions we keep seeing from NZ media lately this one ranks among the worst.
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One News Sport ran a link on their Facebook page which could be taken as a tacit endorsement of Veitch's phoney mea culpa. A different standard altogether for these six brown guys. Despite their only crime seeming to have been visiting a bar, they cop the kind of public tabloid pillorying that Veitch has been mysteriously spared.
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Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
Mates, having an in depth chat about political correctness, the media, New Zealanders being relaxed, golf, making a public fool of oneself...usual stuff.
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I tend to agree with the father of his ex who said an apology, if truly contrite, would be made privately to the person offended against, not publicly in service of rehabilitating a career.
I'm fairly confident Veitch is seeking to improve his marketability on the advice of PR people to get his history behind him by publicly setting it to rest.
And as such I don't believe he means what he says or is truly contrite nor deserves forgiveness.
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Rosemary McDonald, in reply to
swimming in a sea of Domestic Violence
Trigger alert.. seriously
Child dies because although they were told, the professionals did nothing.
Two of the professionals were from Women's Refuge.
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I don't think he's sorry for anything except how his behaviour has made him appear to some - i.e. he's sorry he got outed, caught and convicted
He's so not sorry he will, with his employers approval, use his abuse as a means to promote himself and his employer through a non apology
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It's not just Tony Veitch's pseudo-apology that grates. It's also that people look to him as an anti-PC role model, cut from the same cloth as those who think Donald Trump will "make America great again".
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TracyMac, in reply to
Indeed.
And especially since it turns out he hadn't even bothered to inform his victim of his plan to spray his regrets (I can't dignify it as "remorse") all over the media, his self-awareness doesn't really seem to evolved at all.
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nzlemming, in reply to
his self-awareness doesn't really seem to evolved at all.
That is because he only has an awareness of himself.
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I’ve no interest in parading Veitch through the muck again. But I think he should stop writing self-serving columns if he can’t truly take responsibility for his actions.
Meh, I take Michael Field's point but only as far as it goes. But I'm also thoroughly over the media doing some blame-shifting and enabling of its own. Tony Veitch didn't sneak into the Herald newsroom in the middle of the night and use his mad hacker skills to get that column printed. Choices were made, and I get why people in the media don't like saying that too loud. After all, the media village in New Zealand is a very small one and you don't shit where you eat. But someone has to start speaking truth to power, because the media is never going to be part of the solution until it genuinely own how big a part it is of the problem.
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