Up Front by Emma Hart

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Up Front: Because You Are Wonderful, and I Am Lazy

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  • Kris V,

    thank you Emma, & all the PA writers for alternately amusing & challenging us all year long, once again.
    I loved both the books I bought and Emma, your book has now been passed onto my teenage daughter so she too can grok the pithy wisdom contained within

    from one cricket-loving ninja-geek to another, Merry Xmas :)

    oh crap Xmas is next week!
    best do something about that then, eh...

    Shakeytown • Since Nov 2008 • 61 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    Now all I can think about is kinky sex with Paul Holmes. I'm guessing olives might be involved.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I loved both the books I bought and Emma, your book has now been passed onto my teenage daughter so she too can grok the pithy wisdom contained within

    Awesomely awesome. My teenage daughter was the one tucked away in a corner reading the book at the Chch launch.

    oh crap Xmas is next week!
    best do something about that then, eh...

    So far, my Christmas planning consists of pondering what kind of booze to take to Megan's on Monday.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    So far, my Christmas planning consists of pondering what kind of booze to take to Megan's on Monday.

    Oh honey, you know me well enough to know that as long as it is plentiful, I won't mind at all.

    Now all I can think about is kinky sex with Paul Holmes. I'm guessing olives might be involved.

    And now, I'm off to scrub my brain.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Isabel Hitchings,

    And now, I'm off to scrub my brain.

    Plentiful booze should help with that.

    I am feeling completely scattered about Christmas - I think I've actually gotten a fair bit done but in such a haphazard way that I really don't know for sure.

    Christchurch • Since Jul 2007 • 719 posts Report Reply

  • Sayana,

    Now all I can think about is kinky sex with Paul Holmes. I'm guessing olives might be involved.

    Please don't add details to 'flesh it out' - makes it harder to delete that picture from my brain.

    Since Sep 2008 • 50 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    So I don’t want to freak anyone out or anything, but I thought I should warn you of something I noticed just recently: it’s nearly Christmas.

    This pretty much epitomises how I feel about Christmas every year, lately (lately being "since I left home and it started being my problem".)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Woohoo, I made the top.... er, 16?

    Thanks Emma for a year of top posts, including some that widened my eyes a little (mostly in the comments).

    I'm not buying anything until after my partner and I move into our new home (for those who like restored villa porn) and sell our two current houses, but both your book and David's will be on my list.

    Now all I can think about is kinky sex with Paul Holmes. I'm guessing olives might be involved.

    Olives won't make you numb enough to get through that. Try crack maybe?

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I'm not buying anything until after my partner and I move into our new home (for those who like restored villa porn)

    Oh, stop that. Next on our list is buying a house, and I'm trying to be sensible and practical about my love for lead-lighting, wood panelling and high ceilings.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    Next on our list is buying a house

    You're going to need to be more aggressive with your book selling. Another five thousand copies and you'll have a decent deposit.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    I feel honoured to be on your list. And thank you for another year of posts.

    Since it is Christmas, I shall not say anything churlish about villas, although I am sorely tempted.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    high ceilings are all very well until you have to heat them .... 'Sunny Dalmore' huh - my wife used to live in a house across the road still referred to as just 'Pine Hill' (as in "when we used to live at pine hill")

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2623 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    high ceilings are all very well until you have to heat them .... 'Sunny Dalmore' huh - my wife used to live in a house across the road still referred to as just 'Pine Hill' (as in "when we used to live at pine hill")

    That's enough of you and your bringing-me-down negativity. Careful or I'll make you come paint my current hallway.

    (and woodburner, and free source of wood, and two heat pumps. Nyer :P)

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Oh, stop that. Next on our list is buying a house, and I'm trying to be sensible and practical about my love for lead-lighting, wood panelling and high ceilings.

    My mother has taken to window-shopping (well, internet window-shopping) for houses in other cities. All the wood panelling and lead-lights you could want, and no chance of actually buying them.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • JackElder,

    I'm guessing olives might be involved.

    In which orifice?

    villa envy

    I'm spending the Christmas holidays packing to move away from our carefully restored villa with polished matai floors, leadlights, heat pump, etc. It's a nice house, but it's just got a bit too small for us.

    Though that villa linked just made me think "Jesus, it's true: houses are literally half the price in Dunedin."

    Wellington • Since Mar 2008 • 709 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Campbell,

    Free source of wood ... do tell ... oh the other two houses ...

    Seriously though probably the best thing a previous owner did to our extended villa was to bring down the roof in the living space - makes it toasty warm a lot faster

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 2623 posts Report Reply

  • Mark Easterbrook,

    Shucks, what an honour Emma. That's probably the funniest thing I've written this year which, in light of my day job writing things that are sometimes meant to be funny, is deeply concerning...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 265 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    I just typed 'pubicaddress.net' into the URL field by accident (no, really!) and while there are photos of furry things, they are perfectly SFW.

    Maybe that's old news, but it tickled my fancy...

    And this is not a 'made you look' scenario. Trust me ;-)

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    In which orifice?

    Olive them!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Hilary Stace,

    Kyle: I know that house, and street. Great views and a just a short walk down to the gardens and university. In Wellington terms it is almost innercity. Access road Fee Street does occasionally ice up in winter snow storms, but not for long. I know someone who will be very pleased to hear that there are some nice neighbours moving in.

    Wgtn • Since Jun 2008 • 3229 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    I just typed 'pubicaddress.net' into the URL field by accident (no, really!) and while there are photos of furry things, they are perfectly SFW.

    That would be Br3nda's doing.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • BenWilson,

    Emma's book is actually my Christmas present to myself. I hope whoever gets it (I'll decide after I read it) doesn't notice that it's not virginal. Perhaps I should wear latex gloves whilst reading it. Or is that like taking a shower wearing a raincoat?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 10657 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Or is that like taking a shower wearing a raincoat?

    You'd have to ask Bart, he's the one who likes to read it in the bathroom.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Bart Janssen,

    I'm shocked and distraught that none of my posts made it to the list!

    I'll never read anything here again!

    Of course it could be that I'm just not as funny as the rest of you wonderful people :).

    As I write here every year I am truly thankful that I get to read the voices of you all. You bring me things I would not normally see and make me think about things I would normally never notice. You are all wonderful in too many ways to describe. Have a great holiday all of you.

    PS I did get to disturb Emma though and not many of you can say that :)

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 4461 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    Olive them!

    Olive your comments, I do.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

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