Speaker by Various Artists

The subject of alternative rugby commentary is a rather interesting one.

See, I've always been put off rugby by the munter culture. I'm driven crazy by news stories about rugby where all the people interviewed have the same, uh, sort of, way of talking, uh, probably, and, at the end of the day, uh, it drives me away from the sport.

But yet I'm still quite interested in rugby culture - it's a huge part of New Zealand and I'm a New Zealander.

When I was in Melbourne, I found a zine that some footy fans had made about Melbourne's Aussie Rules scene. It took a traditionally muntery culture and made it really cool - a remarkable feat. It made me wonder if such a thing was possible for rugby in Aotearoa. (Little did I know.)

So to discover there's this whole culture of rugby love that isn't centred around stripy shirts and jingoism is surprising and pleasing. This alternative rugby scene feels like it could be the 'in' for me to start giving a damn about the game.

(I still feel a little strange writing that, but we'll see how it goes.)

There's more to Rugby humour and culture than Mark Ellis, that's for sure. I think this leftfield Rugby thing has come about because the game itself is so sanitised and corporate these days, it needs a bit of anarchy to balance things out.

In the good old days*Climbs onto soapbox*, Mooloo (Waikato's masot) used to be a shoddy old pantomime horse-style cow, lead around the ground by a farmer, and it was great. Nowadays they have a troupe of kids in uniforms and horrible mooloo head things doing modern dance... it's like something out of the Simpsons. I also really miss having the presenters out in the middle of the ground coping with kids jumping up and down behind them waving to Mum, but that's just me, probably).

Well, I don't know anything about rugby, or 'World Cup' but I do enjoy a wee dram.

The Glenfarclas '105' Cask Strength is good value for a cask strength single malt and great drinking. The Caol Ila 12 yr old is fantastic if you are a fan of the Islay style.

I can't stand rugby, Robyn, but I do really enjoy Game of Two Halves, and I quite like a bit of Code on Maori TV.

Quinn's factoids and Muzza's tangents are great, but pastiche is better...the only thing missing from Alt. Rugby is Alt. agricultural adverts.

If you're looking for an agricultural dram, try MacDowells 12yr Single Malt, made in Bangalore. Curiously peaty, they also make fertiliser.

Great! When I lived in Aussie Roy & HG's footy commentaries on Triple J made many matches a lot better. I'll be checking out Alt. Rugby for sure.

I have a sad, near-empty bottle of Glenfarclas sitting at home right now. How lovely a replacement would be, and the 20th of the month is so far away...

I have a sad, near-empty bottle of Glenfarclas sitting at home right now. How lovely a replacement would be, and the 20th of the month is so far away...

If that was an attempt to ingratiate and win the comments prize, it has fallen so sadly short ...

You mean it's not a random draw? Curses!

(twists moustache evilly, slopes off to plot mother of all comments).

Aussie Roy & HG's footy commentaries on Triple J made many matches a lot better.

Riiiight . . . Roy & HG, from the island in the sewer which is rugby league, which every year promises the Youth of Australia so much and ends up delivering a uteload of stanleys (stanleys=stanley steamers=turds).

Never refer to players by their real names, re-christen them all, e.g. Glenn Lazarus=The Brick With Eyes.

Joe can we use given names?

As not all Great League Players are Christian & it might make the nonbelievers happy as well.

Hazem El Masri (Arabic: حازم المصري) (born 1 April 1976) is a Lebanese-Australian professional rugby league football player, widely known for his goal-kicking feats with his National Rugby League side, the Canterbury Bulldogs.

"sewer which is rugby league"
I've never played league but the very structure means a bad game of league beats a bad game of Union. Which is only fun for the forwards . The backs & fans might as well not be there.

So, Russell, we (wife and I) enjoyed the alt.commentary with Newsboy last time around. What chance of it happening again on bFM for this one? Or is that stepping on Jed's toes?

Have any of you caught That Guy's Rugby World Cup on TVNZ Demand? The World Cup for people who can't be faffed with any of the coverage. Fabulous.

JP, you should be able to stream the ARC commentary] live, though I have to say it didn't bloody work during the NZ Italy game. It was up later for download though to watch with the replays.

Riiiight . . . Roy & HG, from the island in the sewer which is rugby league, which every year promises the Youth of Australia so much and ends up delivering a uteload of stanleys (stanleys=stanley steamers=turds).

???? - got me there Joe.

I'd regard Roy and HG as aussie national treasures, not only for their ability to puncture the pomposity around sport (in particular league) but for their other work - if you haven't read it, its well worth having a look at John Doyle's (rampaging Roy Slaven) fine speech at the 2005 [http://www.abc.net.au/sydney/stories/s1476723.htm|Andrew Olle Media Lecture]]

Buggar, got the link wrong ...

Andrew Olle Media Lecture