Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Interview with Rodney Hide

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  • recordari,

    Someone's gonna end up with pi on their face, if we're not careful. An Eraser Head, so to speak.

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Hide will come to a sticky end I tell you. All this Huffing and Puffing will blow the house down if you ask me. Never the less, Hide is, at least, sticking to Organics I am pleased to say, we wouldn't want him huffing away on sodium silicates now would we? What with their heat resistance and low toxicity. Better to stick with an organic like a good trimethyl asniocyanate with maybe a dash of chloroethyline for that added kick.
    And what of the dangers of glue ear I hear you say... WHAT? I SAID GLUE EAR... never mind.
    As for those Pie figures. I thought they were talking in the region of 4.774648293 pies per purchase.
    So, I guess it won't be long before we see our Rodders back on the telly dancing with Ethyl, Methyl and the Keytones.
    sniff...

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Patrick,

    just to say that I am totally in awe of the Π jokes on this thread. Makes me so pleased that I chose Π rather than e.

    pie = 8.53973422 (approximately) - so 2 x pie, while not only being a balanced lunch menu, wold also make a pretty snazzy GST level too

    Rangiora, Te Wai Pounamu • Since Nov 2006 • 261 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    I can't believe I read this.

    For those of us whose communities are *literally* being wiped out by inhalant abuse, making light of the problem in this way is insulting. And inappropriate. And bad.

    Enough is enough.

    Won't somebody think of the children?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Personally I find the ideas of the ACT party to be 4.26986711

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    I find the ideas of the ACT party to be 1.57079632

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    For those of us whose communities are *literally* being wiped out by inhalant abuse, making light of the problem in this way is insulting.

    I believe that the correct term is Wipe Out™ed.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Robyn Gallagher,

    I did some Vivid and was inspired to write this poem:

    Rodney Hide stole my glue-bag.
    Give me back my glue bag, Rodney Hide.
    I want my glue-bag.
    I miss my glue-bag.

    Rodney Hide returned my glue-bag.

    It was empty.

    Raglan • Since Nov 2006 • 1946 posts Report Reply

  • Jolisa,

    Also in 1981, an SIS operative inadvertently left a briefcase containing sandwiches, Listener magazine and a diary... The briefcase was commonly but mistakenly described as containing a Penthouse magazine and pie.

    I only read the Listener for the pictures.

    Auckland, NZ • Since Nov 2006 • 1472 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Davidson,

    To make your own Pi do you start with some P and mix it with the square root of -1, then homebake it?

    Sydney • Since Mar 2007 • 59 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Davidson,

    Would that be, err, blowing up the pi? Wealthier communities together.

    You need more than three dolars in your pocket for that.

    Approximately $3.14 I believe

    Sydney • Since Mar 2007 • 59 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    I only read the Listener for the pictures.

    Do they still have Jane Ussher?

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    "It's never easy to deal with closed-minded people," he admits sadly. "A case in point would be John Key. I have it on good authority that he's never sniffed anything stronger than PVA. Some people might ask whether a person like that has the clarity of thought to be prime minister -- I know it's something that's certainly a concern to me."

    And yet we still follow this pied piper. Hide has a point.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Litterick,

    Do they still have Jane Ussher?

    No. They like stock photography now, usually actors in exaggerated poses.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1000 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    Little Rodders Hide
    Sat on the side
    Eating his Christmas pi
    He stuck in his thumb
    And pulled out some gum
    And said 'what a good boy am I?'

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • George Darroch,

    Hide has a point.

    I correct myself. Rodney is a man of well rounded policies - and pi will have to be rounded - and opposed to points.

    And p comes in points, after all.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • Philip Challinor,

    The Leader of Men said with pride,
    As his eyes went all boggly and pied:
    "You may take the mickey,
    But I sniff the sticky
    And prove that there's nothing to Hide."

    London, England • Since Sep 2009 • 52 posts Report Reply

  • Philip Challinor,

    In days he had hair to dishevel,
    Young Rodney was quite on the level;
    But, casting an eye
    On a big slice of pi,
    He sold his own neck to the devil.

    London, England • Since Sep 2009 • 52 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Once again, I am almost moved to tears by the poetry skillz of Public Address readers...

    Robyn, your poem was an emotional journey. I was sobbing like an overly-sensitive left-winger as I reached the final gut-wrenching couplet: "Rodney Hide returned my glue-bag/It was empty."

    In comparison, Philip Challinor's work -- while, as always, deeply thought-provoking -- is, at the same time, verging on cultural insensitivity. I wonder if you are aware, Philip, that Hide's home-town of Rangiora (pronounced 'Rang-Yora') is widely-known for its population of neckless men named 'Rodney'?

    Among his fellow Rangiorans, Rodney's neck is widely admired for its length and slenderness. In fact, I understand that he is affectionately nicknamed "Giraffe Neck" (pronounced 'Draafnek').

    I hope you will consider attending some cultural safety courses, Philip, before your insensitivity causes somebody to take their own life.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Amy Gale,

    I find the ideas of the ACT party to be 1.57079632

    Except that 1.57079632 ∈ Q

    tha Ith • Since May 2007 • 471 posts Report Reply

  • Philip Challinor,

    I hope you will consider attending some cultural safety courses, Philip, before your insensitivity causes somebody to take their own life

    I think it shows a certain aesthetic insensitivity on your part to focus so obsessively on the use, in a single line, of necklessness as a moral metaphor. In terms of driving people to suicide, in fact, my real artistic hopes were that the first couple of lines would enable me to bag a few baldies.

    London, England • Since Sep 2009 • 52 posts Report Reply

  • Alien Lizard (anag),

    ka pai (well done!)

    ...or is that Ka Pi
    (that wacky Egyptian Soul Music
    of a certain ratio...?)

    I'd always thought of Rodney as a nasal retentive,
    a kind of P-Layby Huge Huffner...
    But can he keep the The Big A (& NZ) solvent?
    (or put another way, will Jaffas become sniffters?)
    ...and ACT has always believed in Magic Markets...

    The Arrrgh Complex • Since Jan 2010 • 158 posts Report Reply

  • Sacha,

    Rofflenuinui

    This thread is hands down the most concentrated wittiness I have ever beheld, and the neighbours now doubt my sanity more than ever. Thank you fine friends, a thousand thank yous.

    I reckon Bollard might enjoy this too..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19735 posts Report Reply

  • recordari,

    A Certain Ratio
    Shack up
    it's a jack up
    it gets my back up
    is David Slack up?
    this pi's a crack up
    slice n dice n hack up

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report Reply

  • Sam F,

    ACT New Zealand: the money and the bag since 1994.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 1609 posts Report Reply

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