Southerly by David Haywood

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Southerly: Five Simple Ingredients for a Good Pub

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  • Rich of Observationz,

    Pubs are of the 20th Century - cafes are the new pubs, especially as they now mostly sell beer (Fidel's, for instance - but don't go there tomorrow coz they have a holiday surcharge).

    I'd be with Jackie - No Pokies. Unless, that is, the pokie room is a sealed glass chamber which is flooded with poison gas (CF3 would be good for a laff) every time somebody 'wins'. The bodies could then be removed and a fresh group of the brain-impaired enticed in. Proceeds to charity.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    ClF3 I meant..

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Rob Hosking,

    DC_Red wrote:

    for the taste of beer from the tap, has anyone else found it packs a much harder punch (straight to the stomach, in my case) than the equivalent volume of beer in bottles?

    I think its because its heavier.

    Emma wrote:

    .. 'going out with' is such a strong term...

    Try 'involved with' accompanied by a suitably vague wave of the arms.

    Covers a multitude of sins.

    Must try this Emmersons stuff.

    My own favourite beer is bottled only, so far as I know - Speights Distinction.

    Tried bookbinder at Bar Ted, as I call it, a couple of months ago. Not quite my thing, although I do like the bar.

    You forgot one important thing for pubs these days: good food. No, I don't mean chips, or
    'fries' as people seem to call them these days.

    A pub should be able to whip you up a good steak.

    South Roseneath • Since Nov 2006 • 830 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    those hideous fake-Irish and fake-English pub interiors.

    Ain't that the truth. The long-established, much-loved Dunedin pub, The Albert Arms (on the corner of George and London Sts) had been a very, very good, unpretentious pub for decades.

    Then about a year ago, it was bought out and transformed into what I call a "kit-set Irish pub" called - cue gagging - The Bog, completely with all manner of the usual generic rubbish used to signify "Ireland".

    I went there on its opening night about six months ago and took great advantage of their ever-so-generous offer of unlimited free Guinness. Other than that, I have not darkened its doorway again and do not intend to.

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 760 posts Report Reply

  • Grant McDougall,

    Regarding Emerson's in Dunedin, apart from the places already mentioned, Al Bar in lower Stuart St also has it.

    Dunedin • Since Dec 2006 • 760 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    The Albert Arms (on the corner of George and London Sts) had been a very, very good, unpretentious pub for decades.

    What happened to the Albert truly was criminal. I've been in there and it's cleaner, far more boring, and more expensive now that it's the bog. Upstairs is still OK if you're looking for good pub food.

    Though to be honest, for me it was never the same after (Celtic band) Blackthorn stopped playing on Monday nights. You could feel the floor moving up and down about 4 inches with everyone dancing when they really got going.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I went there on its opening night about six months ago and took great advantage of their ever-so-generous offer of unlimited free Guinness.

    And according to Dara O'Braian, if they put a shamrock on the top, you're allowed to punch the bartender in the face.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • David Haywood,

    Just got back from Bob's morning walk to find all sorts of interesting comments here...

    Marcelo Rodriguez Ferrere wrote:

    David, you're preaching to the choir!. Now, just set up your own pub that meets your five criteria and we'll be away laughing...

    I'm thinking even bigger -- my own official quality system like ISO 9000 for pubs. You could all it DH5i (David Haywood Five Ingredients) and pubs could advertise themselves as being DH5i compliant.

    Then I could go round and have a lovely Captain Bligh-ish time shouting at people to tear out their speaker systems and fruit machines, as well as sampling the beer: "I don't think this beer is up to scratch, but perhaps I should just have another pint to make sure."

    In fact, I think I see a reality TV series in this idea. Russell, can you organize something with your mates at TVNZ?

    Shep Cheyenne wrote:

    My favourite bar in Christchurch has to be without doubt, Pomeroys Bar... The brothel up stairs is now a yoga studio...

    No kidding, that's just up the road from where we used to live -- I used to cycle past it every day. The brothel always put me off dropping in, but I'll definitely give it a visit next time I'm in Christchurch. Thanks for the tip.

    dc_red wrote:

    David, what is your opinion on the question of fireplaces (pref open and a bit smokey) in pubs? For 'em or ag'in 'em?

    I'm in favour of fire in nearly all contexts, Mr Red. But yes, definitely better open and slightly smoky in a pub.

    Russell Brown wrote:

    [Ice cubes in beer is] absolutely customary in Vietnam. You have to ask them to leave it out if you don't want it.

    Well, blow me down. Until now, I would have bet money that if an alien civilization ever visited earth, the one thing we'd definitely have in common would be no ice in beer. What a wonderful world we live in that there could be such different customs. I don't suppose we can somehow blame the French?

    Jackie Clark wrote:

    My requitements are almost in complete opposition to yours, David... I don't do the whole sport thing, so natch to that... our bars and pubs have become repositories for those dreadful bloody fruit machines - pokies is such an apt name.

    Actually, the sports thing was meant as a piss-take. I hope no-one really thinks that darts or dominoes is a form of competitive physical exertion!

    You're dead right about the fruit machines, of course. I meant to mention my hatred for them but somehow forgot -- so I've amended the article slightly (to fully express my disdain).

    I quite like Rich of Observationz's idea for poison gas in fruit machines. Excellent creative thinking on his part.

    Dunsandel • Since Nov 2006 • 1156 posts Report Reply

  • Creon Upton,

    Mr Haywood here

    Ahem: "Dr" thank you.

    Thais put ice in beer as a matter of course.

    Agreed Shep: Pomeroys is alright. Falls down on the TV/sport factor (but Haywood's just being a snob anyway: nothing like settling down to five days of test cricket in front of the Dux's big screen -- Jesus, that's what doing postgraduate study is for.)

    And music at Pomeroys comes from a dukebox: now, the thing there is that there's always an identifiable culprit, which makes even terrible music at least a curiosity and talking point.

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 68 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    My favourite NZ pint, I think, is still the Bellringer's best bitter at Galbraiths. It has just the right fruity tang a best bitter should have, and it's well poured.

    It is a treat being able to get the Emerson's brews on tap at Bar Edward, but it's not a pub. As Jackie said, the beer garden is a valuable feature of any pub.

    Although we should bear in mind that the New Zealand pub tradition is not a happy one, and long consisted largely of barns where a man fired beer into your glass with a hose.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    Mr Haywood here

    Ahem: "Dr" thank you.

    Considering the good Dr hasn't called me on it, he may not care but my apologies for titular abuse =)

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    Lyndon: the Southern Cross on Abel Smith St has Emerson's Bookbinder and Pilsner on tap, $25 for a big glass jug. That's one of the reasons that the Wellingtonista are residents at Quiz Night there (apparently - I don't actually like the taste of it myself but there are other things I want to taste).

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Jonty,

    Two points to your excellent description of the perfect pub -- ice cubes of course are an important management strategy for the 'displacement factor' -- ie, more ice cubes, less booze to give away.
    The loud recorded music crime is, of course, the curse of many restaurants also, but it should be remembered that it's there not for the pleasure of the punters, but for the staff -- the volume and quality of the music (invariably crap) is controlled by the staff and is all that makes such mind-numbing work bearable.
    On many occasions I've had to ask waitpeople to turn the racket down as I'm there to talk with friends -- a fact that seems to elude them -- the punters are obviously a necessary irritation.

    Katikati • Since Mar 2007 • 102 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    the Southern Cross on Abel Smith St has Emerson's Bookbinder and Pilsner on tap, $25 for a big glass jug.

    My god. I hope it's about three litres in volume.

    They sell great 1.25 litre plastic bottles of both the above at the brewery for... about $8 each. A dozen of each, some books, music, and a hammock is my dream summer.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    I don't think there was a cross over of drinkers at Pomeroys and clients upstairs, actually there still doesn't seem to be one now.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • James Green,

    Rob -- On Speights Distinction. Certainly available at the Staff Club in Dunedin (which is really now a bar not a private club). Unfortunately, during the reign of the last vice-chancellor it got 'updated', which makes is a weird hybrid between airport lounge cafeteria and gentlemens' club. I'm not entirely sure what was wrong with old wooden furniture and red velvet curtains.

    Emersons -- Also available on tap at the Robbie Burns (I take Pilsener, and they have at least Bookbinder as well). Certainly has the kind of decor David would approve of, but does feature sports tv, recorded music, and live jazz on thursdays (can't complain about the latter).

    Limerick, Ireland • Since Nov 2006 • 703 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    That newish bar upstairs on Featherston St, down from Leuven but on the same block, has Bookbinder on tap. Name escapes me for the moment.

    Re quiet bar for serious drinking and conversation: I fear that is something like the non-smoking bar before the anti-smoking legislation. Lots of people say they would patronise such an establishment (including me) but either they are telling lies or there is a market failure.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Joanna,

    That newish bar upstairs on Featherston St, down from Leuven but on the same block, has Bookbinder on tap. Name escapes me for the moment.

    That would be D4?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 746 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    I'm about to sculk off to a bar I loath, No.4 in Merivale (it was Mansfields).

    My ususal line is, if it was bombed tomorrow you wouldn't be able to buy a car or a house for the next six months.

    But it's an obligation to catch up with a few friends of old.

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • John Farrell,

    The Starfish Bar in St Clair also has Emersons on tap.

    Dunedin • Since Nov 2006 • 499 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    Yup, D4. Not a bad place for a quiet drop at that, although if memory serves, there was a TV lurking somewhere.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Waugh,

    I think Bar bodega (in Welly) has Emersons on tap too. :o)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 98 posts Report Reply

  • Dave Waugh,

    Ice in beer is baaaad, but so too is the pint of Guinness served to a mate with a straw in it by Riva's bar in Whangarei! *shudder*

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 98 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    I am reliably informed that ice in beer is normal in Hawaii. Hot climate + indifferent refrigeration = better off with daiquiris than beer.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    But it's an obligation to catch up with a few friends of old.

    We understand.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

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