Island Life by David Slack

4. Would you rather spend this weekend in Suva or Newmarket?

I recently visited Newmarket for the first time in many years and was struck by how ... well, boring, shabby and a bit crap it was really. On the other hand, I have never been to Suva and I hear it is warm there. Plus it wouldn't be a good look for a soldier to use his automatic weapon on a skinny sunburnt tourist. So I go with Suva.

1. Write the expression "way over the top" in txt language.

OMG! TTLY OTT! LOL@Cmrn Brwr! ;-P THS CST 20C BT I CNT PY 4 IT CZ THRS NO $

Math was never my strong point, but doesn't 2x10c=20c? Perhaps there's also gonna be a shortage of 10c pieces to match. Just thinking about it for all of, oh, a second, I'd blame it on the hidden left-wing communist government agenda.

10 credits to DJ_Krysus, Achvd wth xcllnce

1. way over the top" in txt is

WOTT!!!

exclamation marks compulsory, except in Southland where people are less flambuoyant.

except in Southland where people are less flambuoyant.

They don't float as well when on fire?
I thought txtrs were sposed to lose vowels, not gain 'em.

10 credits to Kent as well, whose inadvertent "u" in flamboyant suggests a useful new word: if you can cheerfully ignore a stream of bitter and twisted postings, are you flamebuoyant?

Where TF is Newmarket anyway?

I hate those 10 & 20 cent coins, can't we just get rid of them & keep 50c as our smallest denomination?

Also, flambuoyant is brilliant.

It must be in Auckland. That's where most of the news no-one cares about comes from.

3. What is meant by the expression "This is all looking very Fijian"

I heard something similar to this on a Magnus Benrow ad recently.

I hate Magnus Benrow ads. I'll tell you what else looks very Fijian - John Key. You might think this is absurd but in reality the analogy is apt.

I'll tell you what else looks very Fijian - John Key

Yep, it seems absurd, surreal even - but because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, would love to read the clarification.

Mr Brewer seems to have embraced the spirit of the NCEA discussion in his latest tanty over pennies - that is, remorsely ignoring fact in order to push his own myopic understanding and prejudice.

In particular I heard him say on RNZ that the new coins are giving vending machine operators major headaches and that he doesn't know a single person who likes the new coins. I can understand he doesn't know anyone in favour of the coins - if while minding his till he were to accidentally meet someone with a different ideological position to his, they wouldn't dare challenge his viewpoint even if they could get a word in. Nevertheless I have heard a great deal of approval for the new coins, mostly along the lines that they are lighter and easier to carry, and more 'modern' in the sense that they are aligning with the format of other first world currency formats.

But how does he explain his assertion that vending machine operators are having major problems and yet NOT A SINGLE ONE has suggested such to the Reserve Bank yet many have expressed approval and consider them an improvement?

Still, I guess if I had to spend my days in Newmarket I'd get a little obsessed with the trivial myself.

I'm glad you asked Andrew. Firstly, there are the compelling physical similarities. Look at these images of Key and Commodore Frank Bainimarama:

http://media.apn.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/8DonBrash.jpg
http://media.apn.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/ACFFFAYvaG3r.JPG

I have decided not to pursue the fact that they both came to power as a result of a leadership coup, so this is all I have at the moment. Still, I think the evidence is pretty strong.

I, for one, have never seen both of them in the same place at the same time.

I have four twenty cent pieces in my wallet that I'm happy to post up to newmarket if they'll send me down a stamped self-address envelope, and two fifty cent pieces. C'mon guys, let's help Mr Brewer out.

I'm flambouyant like that.

Look at these images of Key and Commodore Frank Bainimarama:

Spooky!

But even more worrying, that guy to the left of Key, I can't remember his name, but he looks just like Davros, creator of the Daleks

3. What is meant by the expression "This is all looking very Fijian"

Ah, perhaps it's not observation, but intent. Could be Cameron's contriving a currency coup. Commercial crisis! Carnage over Christmas cash!

3. What is meant by the expression “This is all looking very Fijian”

If he knew what he was talking about, he would have said it was looking very Argentinean.

A BBC correspondent recently reported of a serious shortage of coins in Argentina which is affecting everyone from ordinary working people who can't pay their bus fare, to beggars who aren't getting people's loose change any more.

And, oh look - all of Newmarket's coin problems have suddenly disappeared. Now they can go back to complaining about the "third world" street furniture.

Perhaps Newmarket retailers could round all of their prices up to the nearest hundred dollars. Would anyone notice?

Incidentially, WTF is Magnus Benrow?? I've been hearing the radio ads for years but haven't the foggiest what products and/or services they provide. Might be time for them to rebrand. "Magnus Benrow - if it's products and/or services you want, we may/may not have the ones you need."

Incidentally....

i'm probably just being naive here, but what exactly does the newmarket business association achieve by attacking the reserve bank?

The same thing they acheived by moaning that Sylvia Park got their name on the motorway signs, but Newmarket doesn't.

"any publicity is good publicity as long as they spell your name right"

Look at these images of Key and Commodore Frank Bainimarama:

http://media.apn.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/8DonBrash.jpg
http://media.apn.co.nz/webcontent/image/jpg/ACFFFAYvaG3r.JPG

In both those photos, there is a mysteriously looking man lurking in the background, looking directly at the camera.

i'm probably just being naive here, but what exactly does the newmarket business association achieve by attacking the reserve bank

You're clearly unfamiliar with the press release oeuvre of Cameron Brewer. I think he's even addressed the US government before, from his lofty post. He's a bit of a dick.

I found this entertaining account of an exchange between Brewer and the NZ Herald's Sideswipe, thoughtfully archived by DPF:

http://www.kiwiblog.co.nz/2006/08/sidewipe_vs_brewer.html

Everyone knows that Newmarket is where the brewer ( at least if you are a JAFA ie Just another Fantastic Aucklander you do) but I doubt that there are very many who give a tinkers cuss about the Cameron variety . WAT txt4 What A Tosser.