Ben, you are the most qualified father your kid could have.You'll look back in 16 years and think, that went so fast and you'll know you did your best. That is enough.What more could anyone want? :)
Thanks Sophie. That's a nice thought and a good question.
Interested to hear how many people actually have done what steven is suggesting, who didn't already met at a function. It's a good idea, for sure, but functions do make it easy. You don't have to specifically pick who you might like, or commit to any particular amount of time with them. I'm struggling to convey the idea, in my own case, that one could talk to me about things I write in PA, as an icebreaker. Most likely, I doubt I'll be talking about any of it, or be readily identified by the way I talk, from the way I write, unless you paid particularly close attention, something I really don't expect. The interior monologue and the hypnosis were pretty much jokes about the way people can talk themselves into and out of things. Or at least I can. It's symptomatic of taking myself too seriously, and I hope to lose that.
For the record, my expectation from everything I've heard and read is that you'll be nice people, who I will get on with quickly because I already feel like I know half of you anyway, I'll remember your names because I already know them, and it will be interesting and fun, if only because of the surreality of that odd fact, a fact that is mostly of my own making. I've avoided trying to find out what you look like for a long time, on the experimental idea that I could talk to your avatars more rationally if I didn't have the prejudices that looks can sometimes give. But it's an experiment with a negative result, I've found that it doesn't increase the ability to talk rationally much at all, it detracts. It definitely makes it harder to remember you, to understand you, to engage with your thought processes, to small talk, and it can encourage fights. The wrong kind of fights, strawman fights, the disconnected fights you have with people who are on the other side of glass, or heard through a wall, or are in another car, or speak another language, or are on the other end of the phone. Now I'm going to try the other theory, that if I do meet a fair sampling, my experience here will improve. Optimistic.
heh Steve. You going to be there? Were you going to be before you read my rave?
Here's a reason to come. When I met Steve Barnes, I mentally confused him with you. It's only since I met him that I can remember the difference. You should meet him, if you haven't already, I think there's a similarity in your thinking about art. Actually, meeting him encouraged quite a few things that have been pretty enjoyable. I saw the way he used a netbook and thought it was pretty cool, and have upgraded my entire entertainment system, putting a bit more care into it than I have to date, and am now using a netbook a lot. It's waaaay less isolating than working at a desk.
Also, I have begun a whole raft of crafts (Barnes is hand-crafty, and underrates his word craftiness, IMHO), inspired by Gio's post on cooking with his daughter. It's taken my level of connection with my son to new levels. I realized that I've overintellectualized most of my time with him, that doing simple tasks together in real, useful or beautiful or healthful acts of creativity is something that he connects with effortlessly. He loves it, copies me all the time, and I try to incorporate the teachings of our various therapists directly into those tasks, pushing his boundaries all the time.
For instance, he insists on watering the garden most days, so I went for slightly harder path of refilling the watering can, slighty more every day, in preference with the intellectually harder task of operating the hose, which I think is likely only to distract him. Carrying it to garden, across grass, up a step, are all tasks I know that he finds challenging. But the watezring was very rewarding to him, highly motivating, so he stuck at it, stubbornly, gets better at it every day. When he finally gets tired of that, I put a bucket of water there for him to use his little toy watering can with, a fantastic bend and extend exercise, with endless reps. When he gets tired of this, I draw on the ground with chalk, usually under his direction. I'm getting better at this drawing, paying attention to letting him see how I do it, talking about the strokes involved, in drawing, say, a hopscotch. Then I jump on it, to see if I can get him to do this, as a standing jump is a real power and confidence builder. He did his first one the other day (that I saw, I notice that he secretly practices these things a lot, perhaps hoping to suprise me, or maybe wishing just to explore without direction). I see this kind of engagement as an art, something occupational therapists engage in every day, and seek to teach to parents like me. Some learn it, and the therapists get a real kick out of that, feeling engaged with, trusted, flattered, and of course they get to see the results, report on them etc. Especially when you trust them on the 'hard calls', the interventions. They advised us at one point to take all of his books away, something that seemed highly counterintuitive, because he loved books, and would read them all the time. But they saw that he was not reading them 'constructively', and suggested that he should not be allowed near them without supervision that they were encouraging obsessive behaviour that was hampering his ability to develop. Against my own judgment, we did this, and it worked. Big time. This is when your realize the difference between professionals and amateurs.
It's not my professional art. If you want to hear more about that, another reason to come to the party. I want to hear more about the boat.
Beautiful. Thanks, Ben. Great examples of the value of connecting face to face. I was struck by Gio's story too. It's easier to commit to some ideas when you can take in more of the other person than words on a screen, when you get a stronger sense of where they're coming from.
I reckon there's no way of meeting everyone you might want to at one of these things. You're more likely to have a couple of quality long conversations with whoever you click with on the night. And then more on other nights. Plenty of time.
Interested to hear how many people actually have done what steven is suggesting, who didn't already met at a function
Well, I kinda have. I've met the steven crawford and wasn't at a function. It was at Pt Chev's Rehab+ and it felt like we were old friends.Actually my man and he realised they had even lived in the same flat!
For anyone interested, the Rehab + art is still happening. At present we are waiting for the greenstone and Kauri to hit our shores then we can move on. Because Xmas is now close, we have some technical issues and may have to wait until Januaryish. I have no problem with that so, later... :)
Ben: what a great thing that your boy has such a thoughtful old man -- in my mind's eye I see him wrestling with the watering can. That choked me up, it did.
Ben: what a great thing that your boy has such a thoughtful old man --
If only the likes of Mr. Clive had such a thoughtful old man -- The world would be a better place.
That is exactly what us art snobs want to here.
What more could anyone want? xx (air kiss :)
Thats the one.
buyer: "That's a fantastic painting, what is it of?"
Artist: "Well it's about Nothing"
Person: "It's soo descriptive, I must have it."
Artist: " Yes I think you must too, and don't forget my next piece is a little thing"
Person: "Be sure to show me when it's ready"
Artist: "Of course"
There was this piece of art
I've seen people buy because they had met the artist and what they brought around to show wasn't at all what they wanted so when the artist came up with an alternative,they happily paid. Their comment to me was "well we felt we had to...".
Don't get me wrong, I love art and its industry, just not keen on the pretentious buyer side. Firmly believe if someone could sell art and it is nothing, then that person is a great salesperson.
I, for one, would love to meet you, Steven. Since Dad died, no-one tells me sailing stories anymore, and I kind of miss it. Not the sailing, I don't miss that. Just the stories, mind.
I'm up for salty yarns in the New Year, winds and tides willing.
Modern sailors drink coffee, and sneak up on sleeping whales only to capture them digitally? Shiver me timbers. I guess I should leave the chewing tobacco at home...
and we talk about keeping the toledo worm from eating into the keel planks,
My man restored a lovely old boat once. It's name is Ethel.
So that's why the dykes in the Netherlands are always stoned. They were bored by tasty worms.
My man restored a lovely old boat once. It's name is Ethel.
And here she is.
That Ethel is a magnificent wee ship.
I thought so too.
That Ethel is a magnificent wee ship. Is that cross arm up the mast there called the royal?
Not sure, I'm not much of a rigging guy.
I just repaired the floaty bit and refitted the saloon (I've spent a lot of time in saloons)
I must get a new phone, mine seems to be firing blanks.
If you mean the bit sticking out from the mast I believe it is called a Gaff and the style of yacht is a gaff rigged Brigantine, but don't quote me on that.
I feel a Laphroaig coming on and a nice fish pie then maybe an Epic Ale or two.
First rule of ITF, what goes offline, stays offline.
Second rule is you don't talk about ITF.
Third rule is, respect the tapout.
Fourth rule of ITF, if it's your first time, you have to F.
I'm going to show off now the fact that I have in fact met Steven.
I have two words for you all: Renaissance Man.
PS: I do three point plugs and fix leaky taps, if anyones interested.
Yeah an' I know someone who can do them on boats :)
the style of yacht is a gaff rigged Brigantine,
I must correct myself, it is a gaff rigged Yawl and just in case anyone is interested there are no three pin plugs on board, it is all 12 volt DC with cigarette lighter style sockets. As for the plumbing, as you can imagine there is quite a lot, electric shower, electric toilet, refrigeration etc.