Island Life by David Slack



I would like to address a polite request to certain people.

It is the habit of these certain people to use the word ‘absolutely’ when what they really mean is: ‘yes’.

My request is: would you mind not doing that? It makes me feel so irritated, I fear I could lash out. No excuses, except to say I have a short fuse, I get tired from working so hard, I have a lot on my plate, and there’s no telling what might happen if I should hear you say it again.

Also: ‘mischievous’ has three syllables, not four.

And to my ear it sounds incorrect, and perhaps a little declasse, to rhyme heinous with penis.

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