Island Life by David Slack

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Island Life: Abusage

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  • Hadyn Green,

    what's a small fact? Inquiring minds need too know!

    The example I can think of is:
    Factoid (American version) = Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system
    Fact = Jupiter has a diameter of X kilometres. When compared with all other planets and plutoids in the solar system Jupiter has the largest diameter.

    An American factoid is basically a soundbite version of a fact with no caveats or other facts required. Hence they quite quickly become an English factoid

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Brent Jackson,

    You should replace "all other" with "the other known" in your Fact. This allows for the possibility of a planet larger than Jupiter orbiting beyond the Kuiper Belt.
    </pedant>

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 620 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    Jupiter has a diameter of X kilometres.

    That doesn't sound very big - I commute almost XXX kilometres to work every day!

    (Sorry. I could claim that's a point about linguistic variation being acceptable if we understand each other, but really it's just a silly joke.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    There are 10 kinds of people that understand the binary system, those that do and those that don't.
    I always hated that one, if they understand then they do, do they not?
    Anyway, I was brung up to talk proper like what my mum learned me and if the Queens english was good enough for Jesus then it's good enough for moi.
    I am also partial to the occasional Malapropism if only to piss off pedants. :-)

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    "Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!"

    Mrs. Malaprop in Richard Sheridan's play The Rivals (1775).

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    Chuck Norris would know all about that. Afterall he counted to infinity. Twice.

    I only get that joke because I have a 13 year-old son.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22849 posts Report Reply

  • Suze Vermeer,

    Notice how everyone is 'on a journey' these days?
    It covers any sort of situation.

    It is possible to have fun with sports cliches. When watching the footy on telly with a group of friends, each one chooses one or two cliches, and when their particular phrase/s comes up in the commentary, they get a point, or have to finish their drink (if you're into drinking games), and at the end, the friend with the most points wins. You are allowed to yell and scream, as if a try/goal had been scored, when your cliche gets trotted out. Some examples: 'quick hands', 'pinned his ears back', 'knows his way to the try line', 'handbags at dawn', 'brain explosion', 'it's not tiddlywinks', 'a bit of how's your father', 'hospital pass', 'tall timber', 'argy-bargy', calling the ball 'pill', and so on.


    I find Kiwi blokes crooking in their arm, pulling their fist in towards their chest and saying 'Yessss' silly. Only Americans can really pull that off.


    Also, may I repeat my plea for fellow Kiwis to call a backside an arse rather than an ass.

    Wellington • Since Jul 2008 • 29 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    Chuck Norris would know all about that. Afterall he counted to infinity. Twice.

    I only get that joke because I have a 13 year-old son.

    So, are you, like, trying to say that he didn't count to infinity twice or something? I'd be careful.

    Remember, when Chuck Norris jumps in a swimming pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    For those that don't know (what the fuck we are talking about), and I'm sure many/most of you do since you're web geeks...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts

    Chuck Norris is a bit of a right wing christian so this ones pretty funny...

    "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    and here they are...
    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    "There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control".

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report Reply

  • Bob Munro,

    Chuck Norris walked into a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac.....and got one.

    Christchurch • Since Aug 2007 • 418 posts Report Reply

  • Yamis,

    Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

    Since Nov 2006 • 903 posts Report Reply

  • Steve Barnes,

    Also, may I repeat my plea for fellow Kiwis to call a backside an arse rather than an ass.

    Has anyone else noticed that on the Herald's "your poos" column any word with ass in it, like pass, class or even passive gets gets the *** treatment, whereas the good old arse gets a clear run?

    Peria • Since Dec 2006 • 5521 posts Report Reply

  • Graeme Edgeler,

    may I repeat my plea for fellow Kiwis to call a backside an arse rather than an ass.

    It's not like the difference between a blond and a blonde?

    Wellington, New Zealand • Since Nov 2006 • 3215 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Has anyone else noticed that on the Herald's "your poos" column any word with ass in it, like pass, class or even passive gets gets the * treatment, whereas the good old arse gets a clear run?

    That's beautiful that is. I love profanity filters so much I want to ** the out of them.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Piss. Preview, always preview. Bolding tag ruins what I swear was a great joke.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

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