Posts by Carmel B
Thanks Russell. Now if only someone would hire me to think up crazy shit like that....
Quite a few good ones in recent years (they say life begins at 40), mainly theme parties if I remember...one being my ex's 50th when we decided to have a 1970's airline party. The entire Kingsland Villa and garden was sort of turned into our best rendition of a plane, complete with Koru lounge (couches and fairy lights in the garden) with business class and economy classes in appropriate rooms etc. Most guests took the trouble to approximate their interpretation of a 70's style airline attendants or guests, with hilarious and colourful results. Someone discovered that you could hire out the old Air NZ crew outfits and we had a great turnout in full kitsch regalia. The invitations had been sent out in the form of boarding passes while we greeted all 'passengers' at the door with the 'pilot' in full uniform, myself as hostess wearing a lurid pink mini dress outfit with white plastic boots and hat something similar to that seen in a magazine of the era. The food was designed to resemble very bad airline food (cardboard white bread sandwiches and packets of peanuts all shrink wrapped, labeled, and handed out from a trolley) but the piece de resistance was the staged mock hijack which was the 'surprise' entertainment factor of the evening. Only we forgot to tell the guests it wasn't real. Had to admit that the sight of the very intimidating 'actors' we had hired to dress in black balaclavas carrying fake machine guns sprinting over the neighbours wall at a pre-determined point in the evening screaming for everyone to 'get down on the f*%&^g ground' was enough to strike fear into the heart of anyone - least of all our poor unsuspecting guests relaxing over a G&T in the backyard. Drinks were spilt in shock. People froze with fear. Confusion and panic reigned. The 'hijackers' after demanding that the pilot take them to Cuba while waving guns at him, proceeded to yell at and abuse the guests into forming a long line with their hands on the hips of the person in front of them. Some thought they were living their last moments. It was only when the DJ (on a pre-arranged cue) started playing the strains of a Conga that the penny dropped. You had to be there....
Yeah - that's the funny bit - he really thought he was being the perfect gentleman by attempting to explain his embarrassing dilemma of having several available and interested women who were agreeable to seeing him on the same night, and that I came last in the stakes.
Much better than not calling, I agree.
Ah well....better than being dumped by e-mail or txt specially in the middle of a very full-on and hot happening (yes, not long ago) and at least I didnt fancy him that much. No broken hearts this time at least, just a little wounded pride ;-0
The stories keep coming:
Last night I get a txt from a rather sweet (I thought) man a few years younget I had met for coffee this week, we got on well and he invited me to go out to a gig this coming weekend. Seemed all Ok.
The text asked me to call him at home. I dutifully called and I also dutifully listened while he told me that he was going to cancel the upcoming date since he 'had now had a better offer from someone (yes) younger' and while he thought I was a very nice person it was quite obvious that I was not only a little older but also 'looked' older so I would understand if he was making an official rejection.
I was speechless. Then I shared the absurd situation with a friend and we laughed ourselves silly. Damn. There goes my cunning plan to score a hotter, younger man - better start saving for the Botox ;-0
A fellow FSO lurker and I had a lot of fun earlier this year making up 'fake' profiles on the site which were nothing more than a bunch of cliches taken from the 'average' punter - it actually read back quite funny. Just for our private amusement you understand....no one was sucked in, simply an exercise in how the ultimate typical 35-45 yr olds profile might look
some of the stuff we found irritating was the amount of people who stated themselves to be 'independent' and who regurgitated the same old answers to the questions posed, displaying a complete lack of independent thought to begin with. I guess it was the extreme blandness and lack of committment to any miniscule level of originality that we found so scary. Fascinating, we humans. Good on us souls who give it a go.
Ok - I'll go first...too much experience with one of these sites
to know where to start or stop for that matter..
Funny Story: I wake up the other morning and open my laptop to
check my mail. There is a huge grinning photo of my recent ex partner
of 8 years right in my face, before breakfast, before coffee even - not nice
apparently the computer had found my 'perfect match' and I fulfilled all
the requirements of his dream woman...
The amusing thing was that this confused and self-deluded character
was advertising for 'slim, sorted' women of 35-45 years - when he himself
is pushing 54 and anything but 'sorted'. This pretty much sums up one of the main observations
I've made about these sites: most people are frantically advertising for
catches younger, slimmer, better looking than themselves (aren't we all) but it seems to be the 50 something men who are the most helplessly deluded here and the main offenders. I know. I get lots of messages from men who look older than my father and I'd have absolutley nothing in common with. Time for these men to perhaps looking around at the available women in their own age group perhaps.
Maybe they should bear in mind that these mid-thirties girlies are probably
panicking about the ticking of the biological clocks and seeking a 25-39 stud with good breeding potential rather than someone who qualifies for membership of GreyPower. Maybe we are all helplessly mismatched in these fantasies of what we want and when...sigh
To conclude: I've had some great experiences too - met some great people, some are still in my life, have plenty more funny stories too..
All I can say is "Proceed with Caution" and a healthy sense of humour
Hard News: Ihug: still screwed?,
This has been a huge problem with me also - I have been with iHug for about 7 years now and have always had great service, but the last month it has gone from bad to worse.
Mail which never, ever arrived (contrary to the assurances that no mail would be lost - only delayed) problems sending mail and huge amounts of spam after having none to speak of previously.
What this does to business and personal relationships can not be quantified - what you don't ever get you don't know is missing. People assume that when they send you an e-mail you will receive it, and when you don't reply (because you never got it) things enter a whole new realm. Offences are taken, business and personal opportunities are lost, stress is caused, misunderstandings arise. Simple stuff. E-mail has become the thread that seems to hold our society together these days and when it unravels things can go very, very wrong....we need better responses and better solutions than iHug has been fobbing us off with. I would just love to know where IS all my missing mail?
What do you want them to play at your funeral?,
I have stayed true to one song: Caribou by the Pixies
a fitting and beautiful lament
or just the call of the wild
I just hope my family remember that's what I want ;-)