Probably a bit off topic, but an article that popped up on my FB feed reminded me of this thread, in the sense that there seems to be something rotten about the 'manhood'
From what I've heard on this thread, we not only have to hold each other more accountable, but actually believe that men are more than a walking penis with bollocks for brains. Only when we believe we are more than the current masculine model describes can we actually transcend it.
And you know....we really need women to help us do that
Emma replied to comment of mine a page back, linking back to a post of hers a while back. I just wanna repost it again, make sure the men in particular following this thread read it again. It answers so many of the questions I have, questions many of the other men on here have been asking. I hope this starts a shift in my own thinking and behaviour:
Dated May 2014. FFS guys....dunno about you but I'm shocked at my inability to ever actually listen
From personal experience this culture still exists because 'what makes a man' is still the same, sad, stuff. For the most part that is
This really has touched a nerve with me, a nerve that's been getting rawer for a while now. Someone tell me, what can we do? Even if its just a start
Is it, perhaps, that these acts seem to not only be loaded with misogyny but seem to be purposefully and knowingly very demeaning and cruel?
No doubt that sexual harassment of this kind is by no means a new thing, and by no means confined to the young. But do you think that the level of violence or degradation is worse? Have we gone from the common dodgy teachers and slap on the bums and winks (I'm in no way belittling these by the way) to the common rape, group rape, sexual violence etc?
First time post, long time follower here. Felt the need to contribute a thought/opinion because this whole thing touches on something that's been bugging me for a while.
I guess I too am in the camp of 'this shit is getting worse' even though I'm only freshly 30. I just don't recall me or my friends having the sort of strong opinions and demonstrating the same extreme behaviour I seem to observe within 18-25 year olds nowadays.
In saying this, I feel the misogyny was always there, this in itself hasn't changed. My Dad and his buddies are just as bad as me and mine, and we're all as bad as 'kids nowadays.' I just feel that maybe, just maybe, there is less inhibition now. That the kind of extreme misogyny shown here is a product of the same attitudes, but on steroids. It's like there's this tumour that's been hiding in plain sight, killing us all this time, but we've decided to give it a boost.
Hate to scapegoat or point to an all too easy reason for our woes but one example of this 'roiding can be found in porn. Porn HAS gotten more violent towards, incredibly so. Whether or not this is a catalyst for, or just a reflection of, change, is beside the point. This shit is just waaaaay more accessible than it ever has been. Young men are watching the legitimised abuse of women dressed up as legitimate sexual fantasy - sexual abuse has being sold as normal sexual behaviour, the legitimate expression of a normal male sexual drive. Just think on that. how fucking damaging is this shit?
And that's why I think that maybe, just maybe, things ARE worse than they used to be in the sense that things are objectively less physically safe for women? Previously, during my heyday as a teen, guys would look at a girl and think 'what a piece of ass' as if that girl's only role in life is as a sexual object for you. Now however, maybe guys think that and ACT on it. Because they've been desensitized, acting aggressively on the worse impulses bred into us by years of patriarchal shit has become normalized.
So, I'm sure I would've been guilty of thinking it would be awesome to unzip a girls top infront of me at Laneway. I wouldn't have done it though because I would've thought that'd not be cool, not normal, and I would've faced consequences from those around me. But maybe now guys don't have all that stopping them, in fact, they have a whole lot of stuff urging them to actually do it.
Anyone understand where I'm coming from?
NB: I'm in now way justifying the behaviour, or trying to victimise the aggressors. Sorry if it comes across that way. I'm just trying to find a reason for what I perceive as a fundamental change in younger guys.