Posts by Tom Beard

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  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    Actually, given the references to escaping from outraged husbands and general debauchery, I think Tom might be about to cross the line between fop and rake.

    Why thank you, good sir.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    I suspect, Tom, that you really conflate "man" with "fop".

    I prefer the word "dandy". Though if preferring good clothes and fine wine to torque wrenches and backing trailers makes one a fop, here's to foppery!

    Who said anything about femininity? or masculinity for that matter. Ladies and gentleman, we are talking about gender accentuation. Its choreography.

    I know that the language is fraught and complex here, and that "feminine" =/= "lady", but I'd have thought that the phrase "lady-shops for gentleman" was a clear indication that you considered the purchase of cufflinks and Chablis more ladylike/feminine/womanly, or less gentlemanly/masculine/manly, than the purchase of glue guns and two-by-fours.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    There [sic] actually lady-shops for gentleman.

    So, anything to do with grooming, adornment or connoisseurship is automatically associated with the feminine?

    This all signals that there are multiple connotations of "man": most of them, such as the Popular Mechanics one, equate "man" with "bloke"; FHM equates "man" with "lad"; and I am quite happily countering that by conflating "man" with "gentleman".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    there's still a couple left if you'd really like?

    Thanks, but not particularly! There's a delightfully antiquated tobacconist/barbershop in Featherston St that sells it, and one of my esteemed chums brought some along to one of our recent chaps' nights out. We ended up at Hawthorn lounge, drinking Martinis and Gimlets while snuffling the stuff, and while it was decidedly more pleasant than sitting next to a cigarette smoker, it was not to our liking. It was more entertaining taking video of each other and wondering how we would tag it on YouTube...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    As a Wellingtonian I would add the following for a post earthquake situation - and this is for femmes and hommes:-

    In my case I should add: "and an eight-storey rope ladder in case both the lift & stairs are out".

    Good man skill: Asking for "trade discount" at man shops.

    I'm sure your definition of a "man shop" is very different from mine ("I am glad to say I have never seen a spade" and so forth). I have never sought nor expected a trade discount at any of the tailors, wine cellars or snuff purveyors that I frequent.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Field Theory: 25 Things you need to be a…,

    I'm ridiculously proud to say that I would score less than 25% on those criteria. As Hadyn has already intimated with this "tying a bow tie" suggestion, there are many other skills and qualities that would be vastly more relevant to the modern chap:

    * Hold one's own in a conversation about politics, quantum mechanics, conceptual art, mediaeval history, climatology, winemaking or Oulipo literature, even if one doesn't know the first thing about it. Especially if one doesn't know the first thing about it.
    * Understand the intimate details and infinite variety of the female anatomy, but know when not to mention it.
    * Know how to make or order a Martini, but also know when it might be more prudent or appropriate to stick with a beer.
    * Be able to cook a full three-course meal, but earn enough not to have to.
    * Know all the rules of gentlemanly attire, and be able to break them with elan.
    * Be able to unhook a bra strap in the dark with one hand.
    * Take joy in the vitality and complexity of the city.
    * Be able to talk oneself out of a sticky situation with one's creditors or an unexpectedly-returning husband.
    * Be on first-name terms with at least one tailor, several ladies of ill repute and at least half the bartenders in the city.
    * Be able to keep a secret, and be able to spread a rumour.
    * Own one's own dinner jacket.
    * Be able to talk your way in to a private function.
    * Know how to tie a Windsor knot, but never do so because it makes one look like Rodney Hide.
    * Be equally at home quoting Baudelaire, Lauris Edmond and Kent Brockman.
    * Be comfortable with being the centre of attention, but know when to shut up.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Hard News: Rodney's Folly,

    @Rich: There's a potential contradiction between "Communities (which need not be geographic)" and "we in Central Wellington could control our own roads, cultural facilities, planning and maybe education provision. Wellington City could have water, buses and health. The regional council could run the rail network and strategic planning".

    Central Wellington's roads & cultural facilities may be "our own", but they also have regional and sometimes national uses. The street outside my window is a public space where local residents and workers have their lunch; it's also where people from around Central Wellington walk to work; it might also be a bus route for people from the outer suburbs travelling to the airport; and it might also be State Highway 1. The same goes for the local park, the City Gallery, the Stadium and planning or urban design decisions.

    Communities are indeed not always geographic, especially in metorpolitan areas where linkages and significance are more widely spread than in a village environment. But that means that deciding what is "ours", and applying spatial decision making to often non-spatial problems, will always be preoblematic.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Island Life: Big Little City, Big Little…,

    What appointments has he made in 195 days?
    What percentage of those have been women?

    And don't forget to ask about their race: apparently that's very important.

    Around about now, Paul Henry should be fluffing up the cushion for his pal John.

    Oh, please please please never mention Paul Henry, John Key and "fluffing" in the same sentence again!

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Busytown: What You Want (Baby We've Got It),

    And fans of the sporting life will be keen to tackle Feel Hairy

    And here I was expecting "Playing the Field Theory".

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

  • Island Life: A week in the life of that…,

    I've only every seen 'Sharpie' in US-origin things. I didn't even recognise the brand name.

    I got the feeling they were popular with taggers, and had become a part of the street art culture. When I saw posters for a local band called "The Sharpie Crows", I thought that it must have been a reference to that ... at least until I realised that it was Murakami allusion.

    I'm struggling to process the distance from reality needed to use the word "girlfriend" here.

    Yes, my only thought was that that comment must have been a misguided attempt at humour, but it's more troll than droll.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report

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